The experts say....
I have been doing a bit of research on the web regarding this issue, just out of curiosity and to find out if there is any claims for and against kids staying in their own bed at night or otherwise.

What I did find was that there are very strong opinions both ways!

Why would this create such heated debate I wonder?

The right answers

• Children in their own bed is organised, sensible and no hassle
• Children in their parents bed is cosy and loving and warm
• Children in their parents bed is squishy and no sleep
• Children alone at night can be scared and lonely
• Children need to be trained to go to sleep alone
• Children should be allowed the comfort of their parents or a siblings bed
• Children should stay in their own bed
• Children should be taken back to their own bed at night
• Children should sleep with parents as long as they like

Can you spot the right and wrong answers above?

Well- one person will tell you one thing- and someone else will insist the opposite is correct.
I would suggest finding what works for you and makes your family happy and comfortable is the right answer for you.

Be Flexible
If you are doing one thing and it is not working then rethink.
For instance if you are insisting that a child sleeps alone in their own bed all night and they have constant nightmares and you are constantly awakened anyway- what are you achieving?
On the other hand a child who sleeps in your bed every night so you and your partner are squashed and you never get time alone together, is not the best solution either.

Moderation and adjusting to circumstances, being flexible and considerate works well. Its ok for the kids to share your bed so long as both partners are happy and there is enough room in the bed. Its ok to comfort a child then take them back to their own bed later. Its ok to have them in your bed if its a thunderstorm or they had a nightmare and take them back to thier bed at other times and so on.

Dont be afraid to choose what works for your family.

Our Sleep Story
All our children were different and here is what we did and how it worked for us - not right nor wrong- just an account.

Paranoid
When our first child was born our neice was 2 years old. She had spent EVERY SINGLE night in her parents bed. She continued to do so until she was about 7. When she was older she would go to sleep happily in her own bed and trot through later.

My DH was so paranoid about this that he insisted our DD stay in her own bed! I was also scared that I would roll on her during the night so I was quite happy to put her back in her own bed. I dont think she ever slept in our bed when she was a baby. When she was out of the cot she would sometimes toddle through and at first I would always take her back. Now and then Id let her stay and she would sleep with us. Almost always I would wake before her and pop her back to her own bed. She was a very sound sleeper and it really was never an issue one way or another.
When she was in Kinder she would often come through early in the morning and cuddle up in bed and doze for a little while.

Reflux and Night terrors
When our second child was born he was totally different. As a baby he had reflux and I would have to get up to feed him and cuddle him for half an hour after a feed to try and stop it all coming back up!
Our third child was born when he was 20 months. Baby number three slept so lightly it was difficult to get away from the cot after putting him down. His brother was having night terrors and I was exhausted. For the first time I slept in bed with the baby beside me.
Often we would end up with both boys in the bed. To be honest I was too tired to care.

Sibling bed hopping
Once the youngest was a little older the middle child realised that his sisters bedroom was closer than Mum and Dads. I didnt know whether to be relieved or sad when he started going to her bed sometimes for comfort during the night if he woke from a bad dream. For the next couple of years the older two children would bed hop most nights, sleeping soundly cuddled up together. The youngest usually slept with us as it was the only way to get decent sleep. In the mornings if the youngest was in the cot - the three of them would often all end up there together- lined up like sardines. When the 'baby' was a bit older he would go to his sister as well!
They all were very happy with these arrangements and slept soundly!

Some nights (very occasionally) we would end up with all three in our bed- yes its a big bed but it was still a real squish.

When our daughter was about 7 I think it was she gradually stopped coming to our bed all together and I did actually feel sad!
The boys both often went to her if they needed comforting at night (her room was right next to theirs.) or they would come to us. We would settle them and either let them sleep or take them back depending on how we felt and how they were coping. No particular way became a habit or the norm.

Times change
When our daughter was about 9 and the boys were 4 and 2 we stayed in a very small rental property for about 6 months. It was only 2 bedroom and all three of them slept in a fold out sofa bed together!
Since moving into our own house the boys have shared a room next to their sister. She is now a teenager and they almost never go to her now. They only  very occasionally wake in the night and if they do they come to us. If there is a bad storm we might get them both in our bed- when things settle they actually prefer to return to their own beds!

Be in control- but dont worry
In conclusion- do what feels right- consider all family members and go with what works for you! Each child is different and may have completely different needs to their siblings.
I loved having warm cuddly little kids in our bed. DH was not so enthusiastic as he needs more space but he enjoyed them in small doses, lol.

If they started making a nightly habit which they would occasionally do for a week or so- Id just make a point of taking them back to their bed and lie with them there.

Enjoy them and treasure each moment. They grow fast and before long will not want to share your bed and will be fiercely possessive of their own space!