Hi there! I am very new to Minti, but wanted to share one of the greatest tools I found while struggling through the first six months sleep deprivation with our little man, now nearly 18 months, Cameron.
Cameron wanted to feed all night - and all day for that
matter, but it was the all night that nearly killed me. So I fed and fed and fed and when that didn't work, we rocked, we dummied, we patted, we walked (and walked and walked), we drove around in the car, we attempted to sing (ughhh!).... and we quietly went insane! I know you know what I'm talking about here!
I was so convinced that I was doing something totally wrong, that I was a terrible mother, that if I just knew what my precious little bundle REALLY wanted, we could all catch a few equally precious hours shut eye. My hubby and I were on the same page - I am so lucky to have a man who I can be completely honest with, who really talks to me, and who listens with his entire self. Unfortunately, our page and Cameron's weren't even in the same library!
So, I hunted around on the internet, re-read all my baby books, scoured magazines and rang everyone I knew who had had a sleepless baby in the past twenty years! I was on a mission... but nothing felt right... nothing fit with our idea of how to treat Cameron, and how to treat our relationship.
I was adament I didn't want to bring Cameron into our bed. I truly think it is fabulous that it works for so many people, but to my husband and I, our bed is sacred. It's our meeting place at the end of the day, our place for laughter, fun, serious talks, quiet companionship - our marital bed.
I also couldn't gel with the controlled crying theory, letting him cry for so many minutes and then going in and out for hours like that - at least I thought I couldn't...
And then I cam upon Tizzie Hall - I think I first read an article of hers in Practical Parenting, or the Australian Parents - anyway, she sounded sane, she sounded reasonable, and she claimed that your baby too could sleep from 7pm 'til 7am each and every morning...
I know, I know, I didn't believe it either. But it's true. Every word.
Basically, she talks about babies needing to learn how to self settle, and works of the premise that we frazzled sleep deprived parents don't initially give them the space or support to do this... we bought her programs from her web site - www.saveoursleep.com.au - and our lives changed.
The first big step was to make sure we really WERE on the same page - the first three nights were going to be TOUGH, and we needed to know that we would be there for each other, that we woudl support each other, that we wouldn't sabotage the program, and most of all - that we could have a good cry together if it all felt like too much!
We had to leave Cameron cry for a designated period of time (possibly 12 minutes??), once we had put him down, and not try and settle him in any way - no rocking, patting, dummy - the only exception was a blankie comforter. If he still wasn't asleep, we could go in. Keeping it quite and soothing and pat him to sleep - the key, and the reason I liked the program compared to a straight controlled crying routine, was that once you went back in, you stayed there until bubs was asleep... no walking in and out, no traumatising holding of breath in the hall - waiting for a sob from the little one.
Let me tell you, and I will hold no punches... the first night was absolute hell. I cried, he cried, hubby cried, and if we all got an hours sleep I'd be suprised. The next night was a shocker, but we all cried less, and definately got more sleep. And night three was bliss. It wasn't perfect. But we could see the light at the end of the tunnel - this was going to work.
Now, Tizzie's routine's (different ones for different age groups) include day time sleep and feeding patterns too (and something called a Dreamfeed, which you wont believe is possible, but believe me - bubs LOVED it!) - I thought it would be really rigid, and it turned me off at first, but now I wouldn't be without them. Our pattern is a little different - Cameron goes to bed at 8pm and will sleep until 8 - 9am, depending on how busy a day he's had and how much fresh air! We can happily go off to Melbourne (two hours away) for the night, travel during his nap time, and know that he will still sleep all night in a strange motel room, in a strange portacot without a hassle in the world.
I can't tell you guys how wonderful this site, and I assume the available book, was for our family. We have told so many people, and get the same sort of response... "our little one wont do that", "I hate routine", "we're happy with him in the bed....(and hubby on the couch, spare bed whatever - yeah, right!)" - but the most common one... "my spouse wont be able to let him cry". It was hard. It was really hard. But for three nights difficulty we have this amazing little boy, who never fights naps or bed time and we get as much sleep as we need. He even picks up teddy and tells you if you've let it slip 15 minutes... "seeeep", he says.
"Seeeep" I say - the second best medicine in the world. The first? That first thing in the morning smile from my radiant little man - I love being "mum-mum"!
(December 2006) (
