ADVICE RATING |
  4.36 (Worth a try) from 8 votes (130 Visits) |
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Screaming fits |
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by rhondarph  (December 2006) (rank 249th) |
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My 3yr old, Baileigh is very clingy to me, and often wants to be held quite a lot!!! most of the time when she wants to be held is when i am in the middle of doing something. Such as cooking tea, or doing the dishes!!!
She
will come up to me, put her arms up, and throw herself at me, and starts sooking (she doesn't say a lot yet, just makes a lot of noise) I try to tell her to wait until i finish & explain to her why i can't but she doesn't pay attention. I have to try and shuffle along to get where i am going..... she just gets louder & louder, and then throws herself on the floor....
I have also tried to get her interested in drawing or something as she loves drawing, but that doesn't work either. I try so hard not to give in, but most of the time i can't help it.....any ideas on what i could do???
My youngest was very like this - I used to joke that I would have to amputate my leg so she could go to school, cos she just clung to my leg all day, everyday! What i noticed was that she needed that reassurance more than my 3 other children and so I had to remind myself that she needed what she needed, not the quarter of my time that I thought was her 'share'. Baleigh may not be able to verbalise what she needs but she is very clear (by interrupting your work) that she views what you are doing as her competition for your attention. Drawing may be something Baleigh likes, but not if it is to get her away from you.
This is very trying and frustrating when there is lots to do. What we found worked the best for us was to give our daughter undivided attention when she came to us like this. Children pick up very quickly on when you are looking at them but your mind is somewhere else and she knows when you are faking it, so her desire for you is not being met. Invite her to share what you are doing rather than doing 'your' work then getting back to her. Wash dishes with her. Hang up a line and let her wash her dollies clothes and hang them out when you do yours. Let her cook biscuits with you. Ask her to put the vegetables on with you. I know that it is quicker to do it on your own, but this is investing in Baleigh and her ability to cope with the world and being apart from you. Her desire to be with you is actually very flattering because it is a sign of how important you are in her world. She won't always be like this and she will learn to be seperate from you. Our daughter gradually learned that she could be with me without actually touching me constantly and she also learned that when she spoke to me she would be looked in the eye and have my total attention. She gradually learned to ask for what she needed but has always been 'tender' and had very soft hearted.
I know that all the housework stuff is important, but so is Baleigh and when she is a teenager she wont remember how often the dishes were clean or the kitchen floor was swept but boy, will she remember how many times you said, "go away, not now Baleigh!"
