my advice to you

I can't remember who sang it, the name has slipped my mind for the moment I am sure someone would remember... Anyway the line in the song goes like this....

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have....  

Some people spend so much time on trying to get what they want that they don't appreciate what they already have.  And I know it has been said before, you never know what you have until it is gone... Enjoy life as it is what we make of it...

As for the encouragement, a simple well done, you have done a great job goes an amazingly long way.  Just a small example, My step daughter now for the past four weekends she has been with us, has woken up with Francis and given him breakfast (only to come and get me to change a stinky nappy). She even sent me back to bed one morning.   Now my husband actually wondered what her possible motivation was for doing this ie: does she want something in return? As cold as that sounds if you knew my step daughter you may ask the same question. But in this case I purely believe she is doing it because of the praise that is being given to her. The encouragement that she is doing a fantastic job.   Now if we were able to spend lots more time with her I am sure we'd be able to raise her confidence in a few other area's as well... 

Thank you for sharing your advice- I agree the things you mention are very important and sadly it often takes people a long time to realise.

Would love to hear about some actual examples of what you have done to support your children, especially during those bad times - it would really bring your advice to 'life'
If you do think of some specific examples that you want to share you can easily add them into your advice article by using the edit button (top , right side of the article)
xox