The holiday season is a perfect time to teach our children what it means to love peace and to work towards reconciliation.  Here's a simple list of ideas to help your family show how much you care this Christmas:

• Reach out to that family member you haven't
  spoken to in years.  Explanations aren't needed.  Just a simple card, saying "thinking about you this Christmas season."  You don't have to give up your boundaries or make yourself disappear per the old family rules.  Just open the door a crack.
  
• Say you're sorry.  Take time to make amends for harsh words, short tempers and conversations that ended too sharply.  State clearly what you did:  "The way I spoke to you was hurtful and I'd like to tell you how much I regret it."  Don't try to settle all your differences, just take a short step forward toward communication on new grounds.
  
• Foster peace in your neighborhood.  Bring over a Christmas snack.  Write an unexpected card declaring your desire to be a better neighbor this year.  Surprise your neighbors with secret Santa presents on doorsteps, complete with notes saying how glad you are they are there.
  
• Work for reconciliation in your community.  Break down the walls of misunderstanding.  Invite families from other countries and faith traditions over for hot chocolate or christmas snacks.  Ask them to tell you about their favorite holidays and how they celebrate in their part of the world.
  
• Teach your children about other religions.  Read stories about Hannakah and Kwanzaa.  Participate in interfaith family events to promote tolerance and understanding.  Let your kids know the many other ways that people celebrate their faith.
  
• Work for peace around the world.   Take time to let the headlines tell you about people across the globe who are fighting for the space and resources to provide for their children and families.  cut out pictures from the Sudan, Iraq and other urban centers to remind you to pray and give.  Make charitable donations and help your children do the same.
  
• Do kind deeds in secret.  Teach your children the value of helping others without praise or applause.  Tell your children about the blessings of giving and of the unexpected gifts the receiver has to offer.  Make sandwiches for the homeless guy who panhandles on your corner.  Have one family member deliver the gifts while others look on at a distance.  Leave brown bags full of bills on the doorsteps of friends who are struggling financially.  Write words of blessing and hope without signatures for your neighbor's mailbox.
  

adapted for Minti with permission from the authors
from The Soulsister's Guide to a Very Merry Christmas by Jen Lemen and Patience Salgado
copyright 2004 jen lemen/patience salgado