From the editors of Common Sense Media

November 15, 2006

Q: How do I keep track of my kids' music? It goes right from their friends or the online store to their earbuds.

A: In the media-managment food chain, music often finds itself at the

bottom. This is, in part, because kids get music from friends (they burn CDs, which then get imported into computer playlists without you ever knowing), bypassing parents entirely. But there are a couple of things you can do if you're concerned about music -- and music video -- content.

Don't let younger kids download without you. Even though most music stores are set up with your credit card to allow for easy and instant purchases, you can make sure your kids don't have access to it by protecting the password you choose. Also, iTunes lets you create an allowance for your kids so they can purchase at will. The simple solution? Don't use that feature. Or, if you do, make a content check of downloaded songs and clips a part of each renewal. Have your kids earn your investment.

Spot check your kids' new music and video downloads. Under the "view" section of your online music store, you can click the "date added" box so you can instantly check for any new song or video. And if the content is explicit, you'll know right away because it says so on the display. Look at your kids' music libraries so you can spot songs from friends you might not be keen on.

Check lyrics. Let's face it; your kids are going to want to hear explicit songs since those tend to be the cool ones. Each parent has different hot buttons. Check out the lyrics by going to Lyrics.com to see exactly what those often inaudible singers are saying.

Enjoy music with your kids. Ask to listen to what they like (just promise not to sing or dance). If you don't like the messages, try to open a discussion without being too judgmental -- nothing will make them defensive faster. A headfirst assault will only result in head butting. It's important that kids be able to challenge what they hear, but they'll only do so if they don't think that you hate all their music. Remember that music is rebellion's middle name, and for teens and older tweens, rebellion is entirely age appropriate. Think about how much your grandparents hated Elvis. ...