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ADVICE RATING

4.56 (Highly recommend) from 25 votes (364 Visits)

Help support new moms when they come home with baby.

by FireFighterDaddy

(December 2006) (rank 54th)

I'm a father of three and a husband of ten years. I'm very worried with the trend of new mothers being home alone with no help in the first few months with their first child. Why I'm writing this is it give a blast to mothers and friends of new

moms that dont help.

Not many years ago mothers had help at home with baby I'm not talking about nannys or child care I'm talking about friends, family and neighbours. The husband can only do so much and a good husband will break their backs to help. This is still not enough when it comes to a first child in the home. The lifestyle change, work load and emotional load are overwhelming, only 25 years ago a new mom would have a whole army of friends over at the house in shifts to help out the new mom. Cooking , cleaning, taking turns with the baby, letting mom get some sleep, while daddy is out at work..... This needs to happen again and now,,,,, more and more women are being diagnosed with PPD these days and the doctors cure is to drug these women silly. PPD is a serious problem and a dangourous one. One Canadian study states that a new mom that has no help from family or friends in the first 4 months has a 65% higher chance to develop PPD. I'm not a doctor, but being home alone tired and worn down with a new baby could cause some mental problems, PPD in many cases is a mother that is overwhelmed with no help..........help them , dont say you will help and dont. One thing we dont stop to think about is there are less women staying home from work therfore a smaller network of women that can help support a new mom. If you are a grandparent , sibling , friend, or neighbour get off your but and help out. Bring a sleeping bag an a casserole and lend a hand. They need help and network of friends will do alot more for a new mom than a hand full of pills and a nanny. Not just women can lend a hand boys some women dont have a real man around the house you can be one by grabing a dish of a hover and lend a hand.

Turn back the clock and help , someones life could depend on it....

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ADVICE RATING

4.56 (Highly recommend) from 25 votes

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	January 2007 \| missice78

hooray!

I like the sound of that advice, could you please let everyone else in on it???Although I didnt have PPD i came very close, my mum stayed for a couple of weeks and hubby only a week off and he did everything he could when he could inbetween sleep and work!! It would have been nice for a bit of help from friends, family...i'm just glad i kept busy and tried not to stress to much..

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| Wendigo

The best gift.

...that I recieved upon coming home with baby was a set of baby bottles, a breast pump, and a pile of vouchers for looking after baby's feed so I could take a break.

Gifts like this are far better than anything money can buy. Vouchers for nappy changes, baths, walks in the pram, babysitting for the night so Mum and Dad can have a night off, getting the shopping done, housework, etc; are all gifts that friends and family can do that should be appreciated and utilized at every opportunity!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| lightbee

One of the lucky ones

I was lucky when I first had my daughter that my mum would come and stay till the wee hours of the morning to help with my daughter and I had friends bring dinners and treats (like cakes and slices) and my dad and step-mum even once came and did the dishes for me (which was heaven). I honestly don't know how I would have got through that time without those people to help. I really hope I'll get the chance to do that for other people sometime.

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	4.18 (Good) \| December 2006 \| sheri

Great comments!

I live interstate from where I was raised and besides hubby, have no-one. Hubbys mum just never visits me - only 20 mins away. It is hard. I am lucky that I didnt suffer pnd. Just exhaustion! I wished I lived in another time when we had oodles of family and neighbours and friends to help - why has that disappeared? Surely it cannot be so unimportant that we have willingly let those ties go?

You are a gem firefighterdaddy and your wife should be so proud.

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	4.00 (Good) \| December 2006 \| exquisite-flower

Should be published

This is the kinda thing that needs to be published and understood by the wide community.
Thank you for having the insight and maturity to convey it so well
Peace
EF.x

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	4.79 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

thankyou

i would like to say thankyou for writing this article.... cause now i dont feel so guilty when my neighbours all come over throughout the day and night to give hubby and i a hand with her... even if it is so we can sit down together he and i whislt we have tea... or to give give us a short break so we can get some rest in...

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	4.71 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| angelmum

Great advice

I don't understand why these days we are expected to be super mums, I struggled a lot with my first son, I had 24 hr labour which turned into a c-section, when I came home my husband was fantastic and had quite a bit of time off work. But I had no help from anyone else, when my daughter came along 16mts later I again had an emergency C and 3 months before she was born my husband lost his job so I fell into deep depression, still no help from anyone. I hid my pnd very well from everyone even my hubby, it took my brother to realise something was not right, and he got stuck into my family, I had my 3rd child 12mths ago and have been in and out of depression, but these days I think my family has woken up and I get a lot of support. So yes please help first time mums, because once that pnd or ppd starts its very hard to get over. Well done, your wife is one lucky woman to have you as a husband!!!

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	3.67 (Good) \| December 2006 \| Tazzette

whoops

I meant people out ther like me lol

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	4.38 (Good) \| December 2006 \| Tazzette

2 Thumbs Up!!

This was a little too close for home for me, I still have tears in my eye's, I was dionosed with ppd 14 months ago & even though I have been asking for my mothers help (as I don't have any friends except my hubby) for over a year now but she always gives me some kind of excuse! Ok yes she lives 2.5 hours away but no excuse.

Anyway I agree with you more people need to help me like me!

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	3.67 (Good) \| December 2006 \| ShellyT

I agree

there aren't many family or friends who will help you out with a newborn. They're more worried about themselves and working. I was on my own with no help what so ever from no one from my partners side of the family, and my family were in a different state. I m oved states, which was the biggest mistake for me for when my daughter was born. Now that im with my family, they've gained up for lost time and are always helping me out, and couldn't be happier.

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