What can be harder then indroducing a new parent into the family.  I know from exprience that it it very hard for kids.  I have been thru 2 divorces, and 3 marriges.  I was only a baby when my mom seperated from my dad.  We were all alone

for a long time.  I was about 5 when she remarried to my first step-dad.  I was too you to understand what that all meant.  All I knew was that I had a new daddy.  If this is you, your going to have a semi-easy time.  For children that are this young and younger, having a new parent come into the picture, sure is stressful, but since they can't grasp the whole amount it is easier for them to adjust.  The key that my mom did was that I meet the guy a few times and I remember her talking to me about it.  Not like sitting down and telling me, but while we were making the bed.  I remember her asking me what i wanted and if it was ok for us to move.  Of course I was happy.  I think the biggest thing was that she talked to me about it and really want to know how I felt.  I remember making desicions with her about the wedding and when he wanted to adopt me, I was asked about that too.  Kids are very quick to pick up on emotions and since I knew my mom was happy, it made me happy.  Also looking back, she put alot of emphisis on what I said.  Kids are so impressonable at this stage in life.  Key things to keep in mind:

1. Start talking to your child about it before there is even a hint of marriage.  It's better to prepare and let the child know that one day they could have a new daddy, but don't make every boyfriend (or girlfriend) as the new parent.  Not unless you are getting married.

2. If both parents share custody, make sure that the child knows that daddy (or mommy) is not going away and the new "parent" won't take their place.  It's key to let the child know that the new parent will help to care for them, but they will never try to replace the real parents.  Make sure, too, that your spouse to be knows how important it is to support you in this.  Certain circumstances will also change this, but in most cases it won't

3. Allow the child to get aquinted with your spouse to be on their terms.  Never force a child to spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend.  This can emotionally jurt them and make them feel that their feelings don't matter.  Every child is different so even one sibling can warm up and become friends quicker then another.  Do however encourage the child to do things that they like with your spouse-to-be.  When you do things on the childs time, they will feel like they are being listened to, which will only strengthen the family bond.

4. Have your spouse to be talk to your child about their feelins of marraige.  If they don't know what that means, explain it to them in ways they can understand.  Have your spouse-to-be take them out and bring up the subject when it's just them, one-on-one.  Also, if the child changes the subject, then let it go.  Again, let the child ask, trust me, they won't forget to bring it up later.

5.  When planning for the wedding try to involve the whole family, if more then one child.  Ask them what they like, white or red flowers, chocolate or vanilla cake.  This reinforces that they are a curicial part of the family.  Remember having a new person in the family is a big change for children of all ages.

6.  Ask them what they want to do to help for the wedding.  Make cookies for the party, put out the napkins, go with you to get your shoes.  What every again this will help them to feel like they are a part of the family.

7. When they get upset make sure to take time out to really listen to them.  Let them know that their feelings are valid and talk to them about what ever bothers them.  If they are feeling left out, then pick a specific day of the week or time and do something with just them, then have your spouse-to-be to the same thing.  Having one-on-one time with mommy and the new "daddy" will certainly strenghtne their bond with you both, and make sure to do lots of things together as a family 

8. If you are moving from your house, again, try and get your child involved as much as possible.  Take them to look at houses, or to pick out packing supplies.  I know when my mom and I moved she talked to me about it and I got to see the houses with her and my stepdad.  It made me feel important.  With so many things changing, it gave me reassurance that everything was going to be ok.

Now, older kids and teens are another story.  Most older kids understand what's really going on and as long as they like your spouse-to-be then they should have no problem, but like younger children, they still need to feel involved and that daddy or mommy is not being replaced.  When my mom got remarried for the 3rd time I had just moved back in with her.  I was almost an adult and let me tell you just seeing her so happy and seeing how well my step-dad treated her, her second marraige endend due to abuse, I could not have been happier for her.  Being much older it changed from being about me and my siblings to being about her.  That's when it does get easier to have a new spouse.  But it's still key to make a teenager feel just a special as a child.  Teens have a very hard time alone with school, growing up, getting ready for college, possibly working.  They still need to feel like they are being heard.  And since they are most like all adults in maturity, if they have concerns or reservations about our new spouse-to-be, listen.  They may see something you don't, the phrase"blinded by love" happened to my mom in her second marraige.  They get to see things that you don't so really listen to your child and don't blow them off, no matter how nice the guy seems

I can't say this enough, but truely your children come first.  You deserve to be happy, but don't make it at your childs expense.  And since you want to make a new family, have the family make this move together.  You all will be very happy