Teenagers

Just wanted to add more to my first advice on teenagers. It starts well before they are teenagers, i found it started about the year of 11 or 12 years old.  Firstly i had no trouble with my daughter at all. but my son started me on my road to discovery to how children think. he had just started high school and he meet this new friend who had all the freedom that my son did not have, he seem to have parents who did not seem to care where he was or what he did or what hour he did it. My son had chores to do before he could have play time but after he met this new friend, he started to disappear for long periods of time and didn't seem to care what sort  of trouble he got into when he got home. he started to get into trouble nearly to the point the police was called. thats when i took time out and thought long and hard on what to do. So i took the hard approach with my son for the first time, i ban him from seeing his friend, well he hated me so he said and he did'nt want anything to do me for along time. so thats when i sat down with both of my children and a real heart to heart talk with them. I told them that they could invite any of friends around at any time and that they could sleep over if they wished with the permission of their parents. I then proceded to talk about the birds and the bees, the dangers of sexual transmitted diseases and the importance of protection for themselves and there partners.I than agreed that if they wished to have their girlfriends or boyfriends over for a night that was ok with me, as long as there parents agreed. I also made a pact with them that if they needed drinks or smokes, i would supply them. Well as a result of all this i never had anymore worries with my children. We had supervised parties,we even had children staying over for the night especially if they had a few drinks, their own parents appreciated the gesture, they knew there own children were safe. As a result of my birds and bees talk, my daughter only ever had one boyfriend whom she married. And my son only ever had two girlfriends under our roof. i'm sure this all occured because i took the dare or challenge away that they were doing something that there parents did not know they were doing. Take that dare and challenge away and they have nothing left. The most important factor to me, even though alot of parents might not have agreed with me, is that i knew that my children and their friends were safe at our place, not out on the streets where you dont know what could happen! My Daughter is 39years old and my son is 37 years old and i'm a very proud mum

 

I really like this approach of open parenting. I intend to use this when my kids are old enough. If they want to do something, they can do it at home under supervision. I believe this makes better adults when the time comes.

I am pretty open with my eldest teenager and I realize he does all of this and let him have parties here too etc.... But I do not think I could come to letting them sleep with their girlfriend boyfriend in my house. Aidans girlfriends have satyaed before but not in the same room I know he does do the deed but I am not ready for him to do it in my house maybe I would feel different if I had all teenagers but what would my other kids think if I allowed this and anyway I am not getting it that often so why should he hehehe. But it sounds like you have a very good relationship with your kids congrats

being open and understanding with our kids is the best policy i think and sounds as tho you have done a great job with your own children well done