Before my fiancee and i got together, she wanted to make sure that that myself and her 2 boys got on well together. We did and still get on well together and it regrettably got to the point where the boys were bragging to their dad about what we did

When you start having a relationship with a lady who has already got children it is hard to know what boundaries you have, because you may either give them too much of everything or not enough, and that is the hardest thing for the bloke or lady to work out. For the bloke who has had children previously it is a little easier than some one who doesn't have any children. It would be just as hard for the lady's when their new boyfriend has children. Some people say that when the couple have a child together the children from the previous relationship get left out by the step parent.

Some of the questions that come across a blokes mind are;

 Was i too hard on them or not hard enough?

Did i do it right or not?

Was the present too big or too small and is it what they really like?

Do they really like me or are they just saying it to make their parent feel good?

Myself and my fiancees 2 boys get on very well and now the only problem is that they come to me for everything and are leaving their mother out of the loop and she is feeling left out. But i am not giving the boys lots of things to make them like me or anything like that, they get the same amount as my son and their mum gives them all the same amount of love and affection as she does with the son that we have had together. I give all 3 boys the same amount of affection. I had a step-mother who treated me like dirt when her first born son arrived, a minority of step-mothers are like this but the one i have now is great.

MY ADVICE

Treat all the children equally no matter what. Involve the children with the new baby so that they don't feel left out or they will rebel against any newborns. Treat all the children like your own. Listen to them and don't make fun of them or make them feel small in any way and the most important things are to be understanding and be there for them no matter what the cost.

Gifts mean little to most adults and children, the things that are most sought after is love, support and respect even in young children, these are the same things that most parents and adults are looking for in life. the most important thing of all is don't spoil them and then drop off.