When I met my boyfriend (BF), I was separated from my ex-husband and had 2 children who were 3 and a half and nearly 2.  My BF had no children, had had very little contact with children, had not been in a serious relationship and still lived at home with

Talk about an unlikely match!

It's been a little over a year now and we've definitely had our ups and downs.  The biggest of these has been incorporating the children in our relationship.  These are some of the things I've learnt (the hard way most times!):

• It's good to make sure your relationship with the other person is solid before incorporating the children.  In our case it was nearly 6 months of dating (only when I didn't have the children) before I introduced him to them.  And when I did, it was only a short introduction.  
• Build up contact with the children gradually.  This is both for the children's sake and for the new guy.  Children can be very full-on for someone who hasn't dealt with little people before.  Take it in small doses.  Short periods of time and not too often in the beginning.
• Don't force expectations.  While you may eventually want a father/step-father for your children, they may not be able to accept that in the beginning.  That doesn't mean it is the way it will always be, but in the beginning just take things slowly.  You wouldn't expect a guy to be ready to marry you in the first month, so why should they be ready to be a parent then either?  If it was their own child, they'd usually get about 9 months to adjust to the change!
• Encourage your partner to participate with the kids.  This could be any number of things: saying hello and goodbye when they come and go, asking the kids how their day was, playing the game the kids are playing, giving them their dinner, remembering birthday and Christmas presents, giving the kids hugs, holding their hands crossing the road, etc.
• Understand that the longer they're around, the more the kids will get attached.  As my kids were so little when my ex and I split, they never really expressed any distress at the relationship break-up, beyond the change in routine for them.  However, the other I day I was upset with my BF and spoke harshly to him.  My eldest daughter ran off to her bedroom crying.  I followed her and asked what was wrong.  She said "You were angry at (BF)".  I assured her that although I was angry, I still loved him and I called him in and apologised and we made up in front of her.  She was so much happier once we'd done that.
• It's a learning process.  Sometimes you forget just how much you've learnt bringing up your children, even if it's only been a couple of years.  For someone without that experience (and let's face it, having children is a baptism by fire!) it can be very daunting.  Give them the benefit of your wisdom, and allow them to do their own learning (Minti is very good for that!).  And lots of positive reinforcement whenever things are good.  And don't be afraid to say when you're not happy with something.  Even if it's only minor.  If you deal with things when they're only little, it stops them getting big and overwhelming.

I dare say there's more things that I have yet to learn!  So I will no doubt edit this advice as time goes on.  And I will certainly welcome any comments from those older and wiser than me.

Good luck everyone!