I cannot take credit for this advice.  It was given to me by another mother with grown-up children, who was also an early childhood teacher.  Her name is Dianne Hinton.  I used this advice with both my girls and when I implemented it diligently, they were both toilet trained

My eldest was nearly 3 and a half and not yet toilet trained.  She was not at all interested in getting out of nappies.  We started diligently putting her on the toilet regardless of whether or not she needed it every 2 hours.  She would complain and kick and scream.  But in 2 weeks, she suddenly got it and it has been smooth sailing since.

My youngest was a lot more willing but took a longer to get things down pat.  But once we started diligently putting on the toilet every 2 hours, it was only about 3 or 4 weeks before she got it.  She taken a little longer to stop having accidents, but is now great. 

I hope this helps others as it definitely helped me:

"Toilet Training ‘Hints’ by Dianne Hinton.

Always suggest “let’s go to the toilet”………….the response from “do you need to go to the toilet?” is usually NO. Adult support for regularity is vital from the onset.

So to commence with, “let’s go to the toilet” should be approx. every two hours.  This will extend over the weeks to three hourly, or as ‘their’ bladder becomes stronger, even longer periods between toileting.  Importantly to begin with, always ‘suggest’ the toilet, particularly as their bladder muscle has initially not the strength to hold the content of a ‘full’ bladder.

A young child is not able to determine whether their bladder is full or half full, and ‘other interests’ usually occupy their ‘time’. The adult is the one to be aware.

Therefore an adult/carer support person, can effectively maintain, on behalf of the child, a constant and comfortable level for the bladder to become a stronger muscle for appropriate comfort and function. Same situation for the bowel.

In regard to the bowel, the same diligence can suffice.  And particularly when a parent or carer is aware of a particular time for the bowel to function each day.

To ‘sit’ on the toilet for most toileting needs can be important for boys when commencing their training. Further, for the child to hold their penis in the downward position for urinating, so that the child can gain an understanding of the specific function of the toilet when using their bowel. When a young boy is standing to urinate, the bowel is likely to commence at the same time as urinating. Therefore, until a young child is confident with the toileting process, it would seem important that ‘an accident’ from the point of the child’s view, is avoided. In that way their self-esteem and self confidence is not placed at risk.  Assistance for support is usually required in the volume required and appropriate use of toilet paper.

For all young children training, and whilst their seated on the toilet, it would be considered important for the adult/carer to reassure the child by positioning themselves directly in front of the child, either in the crouch position, or by being seated on a small stool.  The child is encouraged to support their own balance on the seat with their hands, and if necessary the adult/carer can offer gentle support by holding their arms at commencement of training.

Toileting should be considered when training as a ‘normal’ physical function, and as normal as eating and sleeping, not an extraordinary event.  Having said that, I fully understand that it can become a most exciting and extraordinary achievement when the child is fully responding with the process of toileting.  An appropriate response when your child is effectively using the toilet could be in a calm and pleasing tone, ‘well done (name of child)’.

To ‘flush’ the water would appear to be a highlight for our lovely training children, and so when the use of the toilet is effective, a suggestion that they may like to ‘push the button’ completes the newly gained ‘sense of achievement’ with the success. Usually the ‘button is pushed’ with ‘effective use of the toilet’, and usually not when ‘inneffective’.  It does give a child ‘something to strive for’……bless them.

It is most important that we do not ‘transfer’ our anxiousness to the children, and so ‘top acting’, along with a generated confidence would be required for anticipated ‘early success’.  If there are ‘accidents’ between the use of the toilet, it is important to realize that the adult/carer has usually contributed due to their own oversight of timing, and so that is would be most important for an extremely calm response with full support afforded the child.

Hand washing is a vital follow-up after the use of a toilet whether the toileting was successful or otherwise. Full supervision by adult is necessary with the adult supporting the use of a soap or solution and the cold water tap and drying of hands."

Trusting that the content proves to be of real value.  God bless and kind regards."