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My daughter has bad tantrums shes age 16mths does any one know how to stop these being so bad????Are girls more prone to these tantrums as it been a long time since my boy hes 10 years old????
I only have boys, so I dont know if girls
are worse. But there are a few simple rules to follow
Explain the rules before you go out.
If you are going shopping explain. "We are going shopping, there will not be time for rides or lollies, I will buy you one drink after I do my shopping". Also let your little ones know that if they misbehave, you will leave the shops and go home.
Be consistent
When you are out with your child, keep to the same rules and routines. I always allowed my children to buy one doughnut after I had finished my shopping. The one time I said no, my youngest threw a major, screaming tanty. Looking back, I realise he was confused by the change in routine. I also refused to allow them money for the mechanical money pits (rides) in the shopping centres. They were allowed a short pretend play on them and that was it.
Dont give in
If you say no, you need to stick to it. If a child throws a tantum after being told no, then receives what they wanted (in order to save the embarrassment of a public tantrum), their little mind registers TANTRUM = I get what I want. Dont believe that they are not old enough to work this out - this is the first thing they learn after being able to say NO!.
Dont React
This is the hardest bit of advice to follow. Tantrums, especially public ones, are extremely embarrassing for any mother. However, I found the easiest way to deal with them was to stay calm, sit down on the nearest bench and wait till the tantrum was over. When my youngest threw his screaming tanty (described above), I just steered him into a corner, sat down, and let it play out. I did offer some suggestions as to how to perform the tantrum better - "Ben you need to kick your feet harder and use your fists on the floor". I even suggested that I would get down and show him how to do it properly. When he realised that Mummy was not going to react, he calmed down relatively quickly. DO NOT try to shout over your child to get them to listen to you, that only makes them yell louder.
If a child misbehaves, leave what you are doing and go home. This is terribly inconvenient, but it emphasises the fact that you will not tolerate bad behaviour. I had two occassions where I left a half full grocery trolley with the service attendents (with a mumbled apology) and went home. When the children asked for a biscuit after getting home, they were told that Mummy did not have any goodies for them because they misbehaved and I could not do my shopping. That definately sunk in. I also left once, in the middle of a party, because of bad behaviour from my eldest.
If tantrums dont get children what they want, they stop thowing them (eventually)
(December 2006) (
