Question Mark

I have always asked questions about everything. Many times to the dismay of the busy and tired individuals I would ask to help me find the answers I was seeking, but also to the credit of the many people who were honored I asked them and then opened up

One of the best rewards I ever received for asking a question was actually a setup for the whole lesson/experience to take place. It was my first day of sixth grade at Moulton Elementary School in Laguna Niguel, CA and my teacher was a lady named Mrs. Carol Dalton, who I will always remember because she was very funny and reminded me of a cross between Joan Rivers and Carol Burnett…could there be a better combo?  

On this first day of class, we all walked in and took our designated seats. Mrs. Dalton began to speak and told us about her adventures water-skiing at the river during her summer vacation. Her story related to her getting up on the skis, and as the boat pulled her up, she realized she had lost her bikini top.  

She recreated the event, physically miming herself trying to ski with one arm while attempting to cover her top with the other arm…and how worried she was about some guy in the boat who had binoculars. We screamed with laughter…and from that moment on, she had us in the palm of her hand.

While we were all laughing at her story, I couldn’t help but notice that there was a gift sitting on her desk. It was shoebox sized and wrapped neatly with pretty paper and bright colored ribbons. My curiosity engine began to fire…Who was the gift for? Was it her birthday? Was it someone else’s birthday? Are we going to have CAKE?  

Mrs. Dalton had a very quick wit and an impeccable sense of timing, which always kept our attention. As obnoxious as some kids could be, she never had a problem with any of us because we all loved and respected her so much. Plus, we couldn’t wait to hear the next thing she would say that was funny.   She continued on to explain that the classroom was set up in a U-shape so she could look at us when we communicated with her because eye contact was very important when talking to people.

It was at this moment that I couldn’t hold back any longer. My hand launched up in question mode.   “Mrs. Dalton…ummm…who is that gift for?” She smiled at me then she looked down at her seating chart to see who I was. “Well Mark, that gift is for you…why don’t you come up here and open it…” I was paralyzed. What had I gotten myself into this time?  

Being that my birthday is on September 12th, there were a few years when school started on my birthday…but this year it had started on the 8th, so why would she make such a gesture to me on a day that wasn’t my birthday, and IN FRONT OF EVERYONE no less?  

I went up to her desk and she had me open the gift right there in front of everyone. As I ripped open the paper, all the other students sat in awe, wide-eyed with mouths wide open, wondering why I had received this gift.   I opened the box and found something wrapped in tissue paper – it was a ONE POUND HERSHEY BAR. I held it up in front of the class and they all marveled and gasped in unison. 

Mrs. Dalton then said, “Mark, this gift is for you for asking questions. I wondered how long it was going to take before someone asked me what was in the box and you did it faster than anyone else has in all the years I have been teaching.”   

I was dumbfounded as she continued on…”You see class, you can’t get anywhere in life if you don’t take the time to ask questions and search for the answers yourself…like Mark did…And from now on, I won’t be giving anymore Hershey bars out to people who ask questions, but I want you all to remember the sweet rewards that may come to you when you take the time, and not be scared to ask questions…the worse thing you can get is an answer.”

Mrs. Dalton then pointed me back towards my seat and I sat down staring at my Hershey bar. All of the other kids just looked at me. Spontaneously, I felt the impulse again. I raised my hand and when Mrs. Dalton nodded for to me to go ahead, I asked “May I open this now and share it with the class?”
“Of course you may,” she answered…and I ripped open the chocolate bar and broke it into pieces for everyone to share. Mrs. Dalton said that I was a very good friend because most kids would have kept it all to themselves.   

I couldn’t imagine not sharing it, because even back then I knew that if everyone had a piece of the chocolate that they would remember this day just like I would…and hopefully, never forget to ask questions.

CUT TO: PRESENT DAY – DECEMBER 15, 2006 

Before I left for Europe in October 2006, I made a little notebook of about 8 of the stories I had already completed for my book, and I bound them up and gave them to my Mom on her birthday.  She was really excited that I thought to do something like that, but even more so because I gave her a red pen in case she found typos or wanted to make suggestions on corrections.  She always mused about whenever she used to write her Mother (Nana - my Grandmother) letters, that Nana would send them back with spelling and typo corrections....'Minus 6 Honey - there's no "U" in Mother'.  

While I was gone, Mom read and enjoyed my stories.  After reading "Question Mark", she decided to track down Carol Dalton, my 6th grade teacher and send her the story without telling me. Down deep, Mom knew I wouldn't mind.   I returned back to California, and since I got in so late, I decided I would go see everyone in the morning. Upon arriving at their house, I went in and got hugs, smiles and laughs and told them a little about my trip. They were excited to see me and even more thankful that I was HOME SAFE AND ALIVE. 

I continued to talk to them as I was opening some mail I had at their house, and I noticed a letter addressed to my MOTHER, from CAROL DALTON.    My heart skipped a beat and my hand started shaking as I held the letter... My mind raced to put together the scenario of why I would be holding a letter from Carol Dalton in my hand. Could this from my sixth grade teacher?  Why would she be writing my mother a letter? Is it really the same Carol Dalton?  

Mom was looking at me, smiling, with blue eyes sparkling, as she waited for me to realize who it was from. She began to tell me that she thought Carol would really appreciate my story, so she wanted to send it to her, and that it had taken some real initiative on her part to track Carol down and find out where she lived.  

I asked Mom how she found Carol and she said, "I looked in the phone book."  This is the sense of humor I have always counted on from my Mother. I was blown away that she would ever do something like this.  But she knows how much I love to give to others, so she just wanted to return some of that Love to me. So special.  

I started to read the first paragraph of the letter, but my eyes welled with tears, as I was so touched with the emotion of moment.  I couldn't continue, so my Mom read it to me:  

Dear Marcia,
A note of sincere thanks for sending me Mark’s essay reflecting back to his sixth grade achievement in winning “ The Great Candy Bar Caper.” I remember “The Caper” well, and it was a “special treat” to be able to read his recollections of “the event.” It was wonderfully well written and expressed. I am thrilled that Mark remembers that experience as a positive one and could recall it so vividly years later.      

Thank you for tracking me down to allow me the pleasure of knowing that something I tried to get across “hit the mark” (excuse the pun). We never really know in our work-a-day world if we ever make a difference. If you decide to tell Mark you sent me his work, please express my appreciation and assure him that it brought me great pleasure.  Also, if he is up to a phone call, I would love to talk to him. That would be a “real treat”…even better than candy.      

We so often hear people say, “It’s a small world.”   It really is! I was telling my mother about receiving Mark’s written recollection and how you had to track me down in order to send it. I handed her your card, along with Mark’s work, and after reading your card she looked up rather surprised. She said, “I know Marcia Shelton.” I figured she was confused because you probably wouldn’t move in the same circles.        

As we compared notes, I realized she did know you. I guess through playing bridge and the Riviera Club activities, you have come to be acquainted. My mother is Shirley Jacobs. She, too, enjoyed what Mark wrote.      

Well, thanks again, and please keep in touch. If you and Lynn Fawkes can find a free afternoon anytime in the future, I’d love to meet you both for lunch. Lynn was a very big influence in my son’s life and I’d love to see you both again.      

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Sincerely,     
Carol Dalton      

This is now an official chapter of my book. I just have to get Carol's permission to reprint her letter. I don't think she would mind...do you?