Coping with Depression and Children

Are you feeling depressed?  We all have times in our lives where depression affects us to a certain degree and it can be harder still to cope with these periods of depression if we have children.  The reason for this is because our depression does affect our parenting skills and our children are affected by our moods.

Some tips I found useful when dealing with depression and children.

• Always be honest with how you are feeling - children tend to take it that they have done something wrong when Mum or Dad are not feeling the best.  Explain to your children just how your feeling even if it's to tell them that your having a bad day and it is nothing they have done.  You will find that this also gives your children permission to have bad days without feeling guilty as they learn it is part of the ups and downs of life.
• Take time out - explain to your children that you need a little time to boost your spirit.  Even if they are very young and don't really understand, it's a good practice to get into so they don't feel that it's them that you don't wish to be around.  For little ones, find something that will occupy them for even just 10 minutes while you sit and relax.
• Be creative - try to do something you love doing to boost your spirits - you can then even include your children in the activity.
• Prioritise - if your children want you to make decisions, when your depressed or feeling down it is not necessarily a good time to do so.  If it is not an urgent decision that needs to be made, ask if you and your children can discuss it later.  Your children will learn that pressure is not always the best way to get what they want and they too will learn not to give in under pressure.
• Try not to make promises when your not feeling on top of the world - then there won't be the pressure of having to carry them through. 
• Most important of all, let your children see that your not perfect and your human too - if you do make a decision that wasn't necessary for the best because of the mood you were in at the time or you make a mistake - apologise to your children and explain it was because of your feelings and not because of something they did or didn't do.

Some parents have little children and will feel that these tips won't necessarily work as they are too young to understand.  You may be right but if you start talking to them when they are very young, then it is a great habit to get into and you may be surprised just how much they do take in.  They will also feel it is normal for people to be honest about how they feel as they wouldn't know that it was done any other way because that is how you have bought them up.

If you feel your children are too young to understand and the above tips won't work for you just yet, try to get a regular break and time out to yourself when your not feeling on top of the world.  Maybe a friend or family member can give you time out even just for half an hour on a regular basis.

Most of all don't run yourself down for how your feeling - your not alone and we all have periods where we are not feeling on top of the world.  Be gentle and kind to yourself.