Accident prone? Or self harm? Cutting to take the pain away...(edited)

Self injury...... Cutting..... Is it a suicide attempt or taking the pain away??
 
My experience....

I have a 16 year old boy who has suffered many a year battling his demons of past and present.... I remember when he first went to the doctor about what we thought was depression and was talking away.... The doctor asked ... Have you ever cut yourself mate? He lifted his shirt with me there and I nearly fell of the chair...... Tears welled in my eyes here was my baby boy covered in cuts and not small ones either some deep and some shallow..... like he had been using his body as a doodling pad as most people would use a pen and paper.... I had failed him as a parent...... Why did I not know this was happening? Not out there on his wrists or arms for any one else to see but under his clothes for no body to see.... His reasoning you ask?? For what reason could any child do this? His answer would be to you or anyone else who asked It takes the pain away It makes me feel good, better than before I cut myself......

 This is not uncommon among teenagers......

This is a quote I have copied and pasted here from the enquirer.com
Dr. Armando Favazza, a psychiatry professor at the University of Missouri-Columbia medical school and an expert on self-mutilation, calls the behavior a morbid form of self-help. It is not a suicide attempt, although mentally ill self-mutilators are at increased risk of suicide, he says.

Some teenagers cut where it can be seen and are quiet proud of their cutting these people are different to these kids who hurt themselves and hide it away and if you do catch a mark on their arm or a burn from self harm they always have an acceptable explaination. Any marks on my son were explained as oh I did that skateboarding and now I look back and think I wonder if it was. Some people mistake cutting as a sign of someone looking for attention... And sometimes it is but for someone to inflict harm on themselves looking for attention must have some sort of problems. There is a higher rate for girls to do this but it is not only girls who do it.

My son has not cut himself for just over a year now as when he told the doctor he was doing it he was ready for some help. This is just my experience with self harm from a mothers point of view. These are my tips to you with teenagers

• If your teen is having a particularly bad time at school or is alone, bullied or picked on please get them outside help. A trusted doctor or a mental health worker counsellor or anyone outside the school. My son would not see the school counsellor because he did not want the kids to see him going to anyone there. There are programs run through most mental health units for kids who are struggling with the day to day things that come with being a teenager.
  
• Friendship problems bullying a past of abuse a death in the family etc all need to be talked about and dealt with and if you feel your child is not talking enough seek a professional opinion.
  

There is nothing as a parent that you have to feel shame for when a child is harming them selves you have not failed your child. Sometimes kids do this off their own bat sometimes the friends they have show them that that is what they do and tell them how much better they will feel about it. My son was introduced to it by an ex girlfriend who also did it. Self harm can be a burn from an eraser just rubbed hard enough to cause a burn, a cut or even poking themselves with a sharpe object. If you are in fear of your child harming themselves because of any reason seek  a medical opinion because believe me it can be fixed but it needs to be identified first

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope none of you have to go through this but now that you have read this maybe a small thing in here has triggered a small thing in your mind about something your child has done that was a little of base to you.

Take care
Cheers
 Angie