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ADVICE RATING |
 4.92 (Highly recommend) from 28 votes (668 Visits) |
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Zero Tolerance |
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by OzBinky  (January 2007) (rank 13th) |
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This article has been inspired by a courageous and wonderful grandmother here on minti who posted a question regarding child abuse. For those who are not aware of this story click here.
Child abuse is a global problem and one that can not afford to be ignored. It isn ’t a matter that families should avoid approaching so not to betray family members. It is not a matter that should be shrugged off with the thought that because you are still in the picture, you will be able to monitor it. It is not a time to become one or all of the three wise monkeys – See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil –
There is no room for silence when referring to child abuse.
I have reported several cases such as this in both my professional and private lives. I have been threatened, ignored and abandoned by those involved directly and indirectly. I have stood up in a court of law, supported those abused and helped those who were not aware, be aware. Fact: There should be zero tolerance towards child abuse and this includes those who are closest to you who are the abusers.
If you for one minute believe it is easier to stay quiet than what it is to speak out, think again. The consequences for remaining silent are too tragic to begin to consider even for a moment. Too many deaths, too many injuries and too many emotional scars are the result of such silence. It is not an option.
Several years ago I reported 2 kinds of abuse in one family and in one week to Child Welfare and Animal Welfare. Without entering a full explanation, both child and dog were being physically and sexually abused by the oldest sibling. The fathers explanation was a shrug and only commented on the dog saying ‘Leave it alone, its just a boy thing’
Needless to say I was totally dumbstruck. The whole family was aware of what was happening, the whole family tried to keep it a secret and all because they did not want to involve the authorities into a ‘family issue’. They were monitoring it, they had it under control…they were mistaken and very wrong.What was more outrageous was that there were others, outside the family that was aware of some of what was happening. They were aware that the child was being hit and hurt but it wasn’t enough for anyone to report. They had intentions of ‘keeping an eye’ on the situation but didn’t really know or understand exactly what was going on or what to keep their eye on.
This abuse had transpired over 6 months and when I reported it, the child was only one years old.
This child suffered continual abuse for 6 months and all because the people who knew did not want to cause a scene within the family. Because those who believed they could monitor what was happening were not aware of the other abuse or the extent of what was happening. They took for granted what they thought they knew. When the facts came out I heard so many times these words, “If I had have known what was really going on, I would have done something. I only thought the kid was getting hit”
I’m sorry….but that should have been enough….
There is an old saying that I believe reveals a truth that can not be overlooked or underestimated and that is ‘you don’t really know what’s going on behind closed doors’. Even the most perfect family will reveal some fault, some tragedy, some horrible truth. This being so, if you are aware of abuse occurring towards a child in the family home, consider for one moment what else could be happening behind those closed doors.
The outcome may not be what you expected, it may not even be fair, but it will be out in the open. You would have done everything you could to help that child. You would have done your bit in saving a child from such torment.
Don’t turn your back on child out of fear as there are many ways to report abuse anonymously.
Don’t turn your back on a child because you’ll feel as if you have betrayed the abuser as you end up betraying the child.
Don’t think for a moment that you will be able to foresee other abuse as other abuse should not be your motive to report, it should be what you are trying to avoid happening to that child.
When no one is protecting a child, someone has to step in. When no one will talks, someone has to speak out and when no one sees, someone has to open their eyes. Someone great, someone compassionate, someone who has the best interest in a Childs life. Someone just like you…
If you are aware of any child being abused report it. If you don't, if you turn a blind eye in hope that someone else will, you become an abuser by neglect and a part of the problem...
Speak out for those who can not and save a child......
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| ADVICE RATING |
4.92 (Highly recommend) from 28 votes |
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Thankyou for your vote (you can change your vote at any time). Please leave some helpful comments about this advice using the box below.
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foster care
Such a touch subject, why, because people are aftraid of being wrong I beleive, what if they report and it is false, what if, what if, but isnt it better safe than sorry? More people need to speak up, for the sake of the children. BUT there are so many horror stories about children being taken from their parents for child abuse, only to be given to a foster parent that does the same or worse, some people seriously only take in foster kids for the money, and that is sad! The foster system is overloaded with children and some do get misplaced, forgotten about and no follow up visit comes. I know a girl, her father abused her, she was placed with another family member, who then abused her, she told her foster worker, and they did not beleive her, she ran away, and finally was placed with a loving family, who now that she is grown with children of her own, are still her family, they were not in it for the money. She lost faith in the system, and she is not the only one these things have happened to. But I think we should always report child abuse. ALWAYS
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How ironic?
That this article has been read 121 times and yet voted on 20 times. Is this not a perfect example of how the topic of child abuse sits uncomfortable with so many, that they've read it and not left vote/comment, or does it not compound the fact that even though there is an awareness out there, that it's still considered a taboo? It bothers me that we live in a society where one does not want to be a "witness" to a crime (be that any crime, I add), one does not want to get involved, the classic "head in the sand" approach. But on the other hand, because abuse is mostly a "behind closed doors" issue, and the fact that 1 in 3 children are sexually abused, (well that's the reported cases anyhow, God knows how horrific the statistics actually are), then is it any wonder we live in the society we do?
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Not really.
I've been back here at least 3 times so far, so that's 3 or more views, one vote and I think 2 comments now from me. I could come back here 100 times and leave no evidence of being here, then it would have 321 views but no extra votes or comments.
As for views, the advice I wrote about reporting child abuse has had over 200 hits now, and every few days the count keeps growing. No one has voted or commented on it for quite a while, but people are still going to look at it for the info it contains. This advice is in exactly the same league - in fact they are linked and supportive of each other in their content - so the fact it has 121 hits, and isn't as old as what I wrote, is a fair indication that it is actually more popular than the votes or comments are showing.
People tend to jump on newly published advice and make their votes and comments, and it gets a bit of a rush for a few days, maybe a week, then it all goes quiet, but still gets looked at. If just one child is saved by the info written here, Ozbinky has acomplished something great and amazing.
It isn't a taboo subject for me, Ozbinky, and quite a number of others here on Minti. Just do a Minti search for the words abuse, neglect, assault, or violence, and you will find that there are pages and pages of results on the topic. We won't let it lay quiet, we are very open, and anytime someone tries to bury their head in the sand about it, we will come along and blow all that sand away and leave them banging their head against rock. If you have the same attitude - talk about it EVERY chance you get, others will see that they don't have to be afraid to do the same. It will then no longer be taboo.
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Child abuse
OMG. That made me cry. I've only ever come across abuse once, and that was in a shopping mall a few years back. Not long after hubby, myself and she was a bub at the time. This feral woman just kept hitting her child and yelling at him for no apparent reason through out the shopping mall, and the child was doing nothing wrong in our eyes, but he sure was hell doing something wrong in his mother's eyes.
She kept telling him, ' wait 'till you get home boy ' and other things. We went straight to centre management, and told them what was happening. They were shocked by it, and got 2 security guards to help us find the mother, and in the mean time, we were stopped by a few concerned people, saying the same thing.
To cut a long story short, this woman got caught, and it was on camera, and got alot of witnessess and got charged with alot of things, and got put away for a long time, and the child's father looked after him, and he was granted access to him again, as hte mother put some sort of restraining order on him not to see his kids again. He got access to all the children.
No child deserves to be abused by anyone. They're so innocent. It just makes me sick to the stomach to people who do this.
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