I wanted to write this piece of advice and tell you of our experience, I did write this annonomously because my child involved has not recieved help for this properly not fully any way and probablydoes not want this out there too much so here goes. I have spoken to him and he said to me if this can help any one so be it put it out there so here it is

I am a mother and I am also a surviver of child abuse. I was 4 when my uncle used to play with me and play those games I loved to play. I was a confident and well adjusted child
thanks to my brilliant parents. My uncle was a photographer. He used to get me to pose for photos for him in his unit. My parents always came out to check where I was and I
would always be out playing with my siblings again until one day he crossed the line. He told me to strip off to my underwear and tied me up. He took photo after photo of me all
within about 10 minutes. My attitude changed towards him he scared me and I told him I was not keeping our secret I was telling my mum. He hurt me and looked me in the face
and said you do that and I will kill your Mum and Dad. I was terrified. I was young and terrified. The worst part I believed him.

About six months after this incident and many a time of him doing this to me we moved away. I did not have to see him again. I just chose to ignore it and put it in the back of my
mind. It was the best way because if I told my Mum and Dad then they would be killed by my uncle.

I thought about what had happened to me for a little while but I was able to get along fairly well and not dwell on something that was in the back of my mind until I became a
teenager. It was like someone had opened up that part of my mind the day I hit puberty. I started to dream about it and have nightmares and my behaviour changed. I became
nasty and hurtful and I became the biggest bully of my school. I was always in trouble. Riding in stolen cars Physically fighting and running amuck really badly. No extremely
badly. After many a suspension from my school I was expelled for hitting another boy. That was it for my parents they enrolled me in another school and told me that it is time I
started to talk to someone even if I didn't want to. If they only knew all of what I had been up to.

I started seeing a male psychiatrist and I was not telling him a thing. He was a man and to me all men were stupid. So my wise mother took me to a female one and that is where
it all came out.  I told her everything. My parents were devestated along with my siblings as nothing ever happened to them. Little things started to pop up in their minds but
about running around the outside of the unit and being annoyed because I was loved more by my uncle than them. If they only dobbed back then etc...

I never ever blamed them for not protecting me. I never blamed anyone except most men. I really disliked them alot. I went to the police 19 and reported this man
and what he did to me. I made a statement because there is not time limits on things like this. They investigated and to add insult to injury a couple of years ago there were
photos of me as a child found on the internet. He was never caught after the first time the police talked to him he seemed to disappear of the face of the earth. I recieved the help I
needed and I was a much better person for it.

I then became a parent myself. I was very wary around men because I did not want anything to happen to my child. I lived with a man for six years and had an up and down
relationship. I worked and he stayed home and cared for the children. Our relationship fell apart and we seperated. My child sat me down after I told him that we were  sperating
and said thats good mummy because I need to tell you something. My heart went to my throat. I wanted to hurt this man. How could I have been so stupid to allow something like
this to repeat itself.

I packed my child into the car and went to the police station. It came out when the kids were interviewed that he had been watching pornography with them and touching my
child and his nieces genitals. He was also encouraging them to touch each other. His niece was also interviewed. They got all the evidence they needed to talk to him. They went to
him and spoke to him. Of course he denied it all and went on to tell them that the kids had walked in when the video was on etc... Apparently because of the childrens ages there was
not enough evidence to charge him.  I am hoping that one day soon my child will charge him now because as my child gets older more is remembered.

The idea behind telling you this is please be aware it can happen to one of your children even if you are a surviver of child abuse. You can never be too careful. I find myself now
watching everybody around my children even my new husband. I will never trust anyone fully ever again.

I thought because I had been a surviver of sexual abuse that I would never put my kids in any position for that to happen to them. I never even contemplated that it would be the
father of my child either.