Child sexual abuse has been reported up to 80,000 times a year, according to a 2004 fact sheet from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

But when it happens to you, you feel so alone.

I know. As a child, I was left in the dark

This article isn't about who and what and how and why. There are too many stories out there that are worse than mine--and that's not even the point. I know what the abuse did to me--but I had no idea what the abuse would try do to to me as a mother.

No, I never abused my kids.

 Thank God.

But the hurting, confused child I was grew up into one angry mommy.

I'll cut to the chase here:

If you are a mom or a dad who was sexually abused as a child, get help now. Find a counselor, someone you can trust, to help you work through your pain and your anger and your grief.

Do it for yourself.

Do it for your children.

I wish I had dealt with my abuse before I had children, but I just wasn't ready to face the harsh truth of what happened to me. I preferred to put on a happy face and live a lie. And then I had my first three children--and I found it harder to hold things together. At times, I would just lose it. Yea, all parents do that at times. But, I knew my anger was roiling up from a wound hidden deep inside me--and I hated it spewing out onto me children. They didn't deserve it.

Children cannot bear the weight of an adult's anger and emotional pain.

Counseling was grueling. Forgiving the people who hurt me was almost impossible.

But with the support of my husband and a few close, trustworthy friends, I achieved my goal: To face the truth and then learn to live with it one day at a time.

My unexpected blessing, Christa, was born after I had worked through my childhood abuse. One of my greatest joys is mothering her without the specter of abuse tainting my life. I have such freedom to love her--freedom from anger and fear and depression--that I didn't have with my first three children. It is a true miracle in my life. It made it worth all the tears I cried as I found my healing from abuse.

Go find your freedom to be the parent you want to be for your children.