This is not something that I like to talk about but maybe this will help parents to realise what their weght issues can do to a child.

Right from my earliest memory I see my mother as overweight normally a child probably wouldn't notice this much as its their

I am the oldest of 5 and I was repeatedly told that I was there to look after my brothers and sisters and protect them with my life. I did this to the best of my abilities but from the age of nine I didn't feel like a child I felt like the adult. My dad was always away for work, He worked really hard to try to provide my mother with all the things she wanted, When he was gone I did almost everything. My mother was deeply depressed about her weight and tried all the diet fads for a little while and when they didn't give her the results quickly enough she would quit and blame it on us kids. She would get physically and emotionally abusive and I got the worst of it because I had to protect my brothers and sisters so I would step in.She would tell me that I was going to be fat just like her because I ate to much. I don't actually remember many details I know these things happened and to this day my brothers and sisters tell me things that obviously they saw but my mind blocked out.

All of this I felt led from how unhappy she was so I swore that I was never going to be overweight like her. I never have been but I went the opposite way I was anorexic.

Everytime I looked in a mirror I saw myself as fat. I mean I really saw fat. I was terrified that I would end up like her and hurt my kids. OH this is soooo hard to write. I don't like to relive this as it is one of the worst times in my life. Being anorexic was extremely hard for me to get over.

 I had a nervous breakdown and panic attacks for along time It was me noticing that I really needed help as my friend was taking care of my children. I was not capable. Funnily enough it was my mother who got me the help I needed to beat the anorexia. I went back to living with her for four months while i saw doctors and counsellors and worked really hard to get my stomach to take food again. When I first went to my mums I was 42 kilos and for my hieght that is very underweight. I couldn't remember when my last bit if food was and I didn't care I just didn't want to end up like her. It took a very long time, a lot of counselling and a lot of hard work to stop seeing fat in the mirror. I can look back now and I am horrified at how thin I was but at the time I could not see it I could only see fat.

So many young girls are headed towards anorexia. I watch my girls for the signs all the time because of what they seen me go through hopefully they will not fall into the trap of weight loss or gain. I try so hard to teach them about the essentials of a healthy balanced diet and excersise.

If someone mentions to you that your child has lost weight and you don't see a reason for it make them see a doctor after talking to them about it. They will probably lie to you I did to my friends and if they did make me eat I would throw it up deliberately. Anorexia does kill I was lucky that I was able to get help when I did for some they are not so lucky and their stomachs will no longer take any sort of nourishment. I still live with this disease everyday and my husband is aware so he makes sure that I have eaten. Most of the time I am ok now but every now and then I still see "fat".

If your child sees'fat" that isn't there please try to talk to them and get them help before it is to late. I was 23 years old when I had my nervous breakdown and anorexia was diagnosed it can happen alot earlier though so please keep an eye out for the signs.