sexual abuse.

i can remember as far back as being five my step grandad started touching me more under my top than anything. to be quite honest with you all i didnt reealise there was anything wrong with this i thought at the time it was just normal. but as i got

older my nan would send me into the living room where no other children were aloud to take heas cup of tea in, by this time i was about 7 and i started to feel uncomfertable, but he would sit me on hes lap and touch me while talkin to me (asking what iv been doing, or how my day had been).

any way i started trying to protect my self like sending my self into fits when i noticed my nan making a cup of tea or even wearing swimming costumes and other stuff to protect my self when i would stay at my nans.

but within a fue weeks my mum realised i knew how to put myself into fits and would stop me from wearing my costume to my nans she thought i was too attached to it.

just before my 8th birthday me and my family moved out of london where my nan lived to essex, i felt saved like a great weight had been lifted.

two years passed and i didnt have to deal with it then my aunt asked me if id like to come and stay with her so i did, plan was to go to my nans at the end of the easter holiday and my nan would take me back to essex as she was coming to stay at my mums anyway.

so the end of the holiday came fast and while me and my aunt were on the train we got a phone call from my nan, she had to stay late at work and didnt know what time shed be home, she said just leave tammy with grandad(step grandad) and il get michael (my uncle) to take her home when he finishes work.

so my aunt left me there i sat in the kitchen as step grandad was in the front room but he came out and said do you want something from the chip shop i said yes i thought it would give me some time alone so i didnt have to be scared.

he came back from the chip shop we both ate then he tol me to do the washing up by this time i was about 10-11.

so i was up against the sink and he came up behind me started touching my breast.

i walked away i couldnt talk i wanted to scream but the words wouldnt come out.

he went into the living room and called me in to watch telly so i sat as far away from him as possible he told me to sit on hes lap i said i cant i feel sick, he said how do you think your mum would take it if she new you was disobeying me.

so i did this time he started touching by breast again then he went put hes hands down my trousers i tried sqeezing my legs closhed but he forced them apart with hes legs. after about 5 mins my uncles keys were in the door and he pushed me off hes lap my uncle walked into the living room and told me to get ready so i got my stuff my step grandad came out kissed me on my head said quiet then put a pound in my hand. it made me feel dirty .

afue weeks later i worked up the courige to write a letter to my mum telling her what has happened.

she woke me up crying she thought it was her fault it was'nt the only person to blame was him he did it he touched me.

ive written this to make parents see you cannot protect your kids from everthing xx