Newborns: So when does Mom get to sleep?

Having a newborn is such a daunting event in your family's life.  One day you are doing what you want to do, when you want to do it, and then suddenly you have this new, very tiny, and even more demanding person that is able to captivate your life overnight.

• With few exceptions, they all sleep a lot the first week of their life.  This may lull you into a false sense of the way things are going to be.  Keep in mind that your baby is recovering from the hugely traumatic experience that was his birth.  Life was grand in your stomach.  Gone is the floating feeling and the constant warm 98.6 degree F temperature.  Think about a time in your life when you got depressed and slept a lot.  This is not unlike what your child is feeling.  However, upon recovery, those 20 hour sleeping days will be over before you know it.  Planning your life around them isn't a good idea.
• Just because he is sleeping a lot doesn't mean he doesn't need to eat.  Your grandmother may say that you should never wake a sleeping baby, but that is not the case with newborns.  When Ethan was born, he would sleep for 4 hours at a time and it took everything to wake him so he could eat.  Sometimes he just didn't want to wake up.  The problem was that as great as these long naps were for me, he wasn't getting enough nutrition and wasn't gaining enough weight.  So his naps were at the expense of his nutrition.  Not an option.  I often had to strip him down and wash his face with a cool washcloth so he would awaken enough to eat every two hours.  I had to get my sleep when he was sleeping because for the first month of his life, a newborn needs to eat at least every two hours. 
• They are only babies for such a short time so hold them while you can.  A child that is held often as a newborn is going to be a happier, more independent baby.  I "wore" my son for the first few months after he was born and I have every intention of doing it with the new baby.  Statistics show that babies who are carried around in slings, backpacks or other methods which keep them close to mom or dad cry significantly less than babies who are not.  A backpack was great for me because it kept my hands free, kept Ethan close to me, but because he was on my back, I didn't feel like he was right there invading my space or consuming my every minute.  I was able to feel autonomy while giving him his needed "mommy" time. 
• You cannot spoil a newborn.  Dr. Sears says you can't spoil a baby for the first year of his life.  I found that around 10 months of age, my son was getting a little spoiled.  But if your newborn is crying, he needs something.  Go through the checklist.  Hungry, wet, tired, need mom's love.  It might drive you crazy, but crying is their only source of communication.  Sometimes you are going to think they are too demanding, but that's what newborns are--the most demanding creatures in the world.  And until they are self-sufficient, it is your job to meet their needs.  Sometimes you will want to throw them out the window, but you are still the mom.  If you are going crazy, it's OK to just put them down and walk away for a little while. 
• You can't overfeed a newborn being nursed.  A newborn's stomach is tiny, tiny, tiny and food moves through it as soon as it gets there.  You don't like being hungry and have the means to fix that.  All your child can do is cry to let you what he needs.  Newborn babies who are formula fed may have a more difficult time realizing the full feeling because bottles can have nipples that allow for fast flow.  It's better to use the slowest nipple possible for your newborn so that he can identify the full feeling when he gets it rather then when his stomach can't take it anymore and he spits up.   Be on the safe side and offer your child food when he cries.  I nursed my son on demand (which was every 1 1/2 to 2 hours when he was born) and he was still only in the 20% percentile for weight.  He is almost 2 now.  My feeding on demand when he was born neither made him a demanding eater now, nor did it make him an obese baby or toddler.  It just made him a child that was healthy and happy. 
• Schedules may make your life easier but they aren't healthy for your baby.  You are tired and you feel like you are losing your mind.  You find yourself in a rush to get this baby on a schedule so that she sleeps all night and only eats every 3 hours during the day.  Just remember that your child can adapt to anything.  You don't want to feed her except every 3 hours as a newborn?  She might cry the first few times that she is hungry sooner and doesn't get fed but she'll eventually give up because you aren't giving in.  The problem with not giving in is that it means you are not meeting her needs.  How would you feel if you were really hungry but someone told you that you could not possibly eat for another 20 minutes because it was not time to eat?  Remember--tiny, tiny stomachs.  Keep in mind that if she is going through one of the many "growth spurts" that newborns have through their 1st birthday, she's going to need to eat more and making her wait for the clock probably isn't a lesson that needs to be learned at 3 months old.  If you are determined to "schedule" your child, pediatricians don't recommend doing it until your child is at least 6 months old.   

These are just some things that have come to mind now that I am getting ready to jump into the fire again.  Hope they can help you too.