YOUR Body Image can be contagious

Years ago I weighed a mighty 130 kilos, well close enough to it….

I didn’t realize how big I was until I was degraded by my ex-husband to the point that I stopped leaving my house. I lost a little weight and felt really good…that was

I ended up sitting on the edge of the bath crying my eyes out…I was ‘fat’ – ‘obese’ a lard @ss….I called myself every fat name in the book…My whole life I had battled with being overweight. I was the biggest in my family and this was something that everyone seemed to enjoy. I made them all look great!!

I would be upset by the amount of times someone would say, ‘oh, you’d have such a pretty face if you just lost some weight….’ I think that was and remains the most hurtful and insensitive thing a person can say to another….I mean please, can you hear the meaning of these words?

This ‘personal’ moment I had in the bathroom changed my life and although I had thought that it changed for the better – I was sadly mistaken…

For nearly a month I starved myself. I exercised 4 times a day, an hour each time and ate nothing but chicken noodle soup… (Don’t ever dish me up that now though), drank loads of coffee and went through a box of latexes a week. I lost a total of 35 kilo’s in under a month by doing this and I looked and felt great!! I didn’t allow it to get to my head and remained down to earth…unlike so many friends where weight loss changed their personalities…

This was well and good until I began to eat solids again. The weight I had worked so hard to loose come back with a vengeance but this time it was different. I had done so much damage to myself in one month that it is still causing trouble for me today.

My weight has been an issue for me all my life. I am still overweight now and still battling the bulges that have literally haunted me and became my obsession. I get depressed, down and hate myself because of it and also because of how people can treat you.

At one time my weight seemed to be more of an issue for others than it was for me. Even now I get annoyed when someone speaks the obvious to me. ‘You need to loose weight’. Well duh, I’m fat? Get outta here! Really?.....I might add that I’m rolling my eyes in a sarcastic manner here….

The thing that I didn’t get, the thing that I didn’t see was that my body image reflected upon my kids….my eldest daughter largely. She saw my constant battle every day. She saw what being overweight can do and make you feel. She also didn’t want to become me and take over my fight but sadly this happened.

Kat became obsessed with her weight at a terribly young age. She started dropping off breakfast then lunch and lastly she was picking at her food at night. Being that she going to school made it hard for me to monitor. I’d pack the lunch, a good healthy lunch – but she’d throw it out as soon as she was out of my sight and I never really picked up on it until she began to get sick and loose weight. I was fortunate enough to be able to get on top of this and quickly. She didn’t become anorexic or bulimic but so many girls do.

Recently I had a conversation with Kat. I told her I felt as if I had started to put some weight that I had lost back on. I felt horrible. I began to avoid looking at myself in the mirror, photos of myself are only briefly displayed unless they are flattering and my eating habits are less than desirable. Then it hit me, I was doing it again and this time, being Kat is an adult, I involved her in my obsession and knowing full well she has her own.

I have begun to walk that path again. I was planning what I wouldn’t eat today and tomorrow, waiting for the hunger pains to begin so that I knew I hadn’t over eaten…ahh, the whole thing is just wrong and for what? Image? Nope..not again…I refuse to do it.

I am not going to put myself or my family through this again. I am not going to beat myself up again and I am not going to be a role model to my children on how to abuse your body by loosing weight. Body images are contagious and they can be lethal and not just to the one who is trying to loose weight.

We are role models to our kids and even the most subtle actions can be picked up by them and this includes how we see ourselves. If the focus we place on our bodies are a constant negative then this is what we are teaching our children to focus upon. This will be their perception of themselves.

It won’t matter if you are vigil in your parenting and enforce that they are loved no matter what, that their weight is not an issue for them as they see different in how you think about yourself. Accepting your weight and then doing something positive to reverse it and without obsessing about it, is just one step in fixing what can be a terrible domino effect.

It would be lovely to loose the extra pounds instantly but realistically that doesn’t work. It comes back, it comes back with friends and it’s a quick fix for a long term issue. First step is acceptance, second is be realistic and third is adopting a plan, a long term one, that you can live with and that your children can learn by.

Obesity is a disease just like anorexia and bulimia except for it is not accepted. So many believe that if you are fat then you are a pig and you eat too much, when in fact someone who is overweight can resist food so much more and longer than someone without an weight issue. I’ve started walking at night and eating instead of starving myself – that’s it. No calorie counting, not diet shakes or medication…nothing else. I know my problem stems from a lack of motivation, a lack of moving and a lack of a good diet. So I’m changing this and without punishing myself for being overweight and hopefully this is going to work for me…the key to anything like this is to stick it out long enough to see the affects – to see it working…

Be an example to your children to by making weight issues a gradual process in conquering. If you can’t do this for yourself, then let it be for those you love. Don’t let them think that it is ok to yo-yo diet, to starve yourself and to obsess about it.

Good Luck to those with weight issues…there are many of us!