The 3 baskets for Behaviour Or dealing with a Inflexible- Explosive child

I have a favourite book right now which has been a God send to me and my family and i want to share it with those of you who are blessed enough to have inflexible-explosive Children like me.......The book is Called the Explosive child and its by Ross w Greene......

My fav part is the 3 baskets system for dealing with your children whilst limiting unnecessary anger and meltdowns..... If you are like me then you often battle behaviour which at the end of the day was really over the top and got you nowhere.....I at one time spent alot of my day fighting over food, clothes, tv, cleaning of rooms ...etc and I never got anywhere...Now I' m taking back my Parenting role by deciding which behaviour is really worth arguing about..........

  Picture.....Three baskets in a row...basket A... basket B....basket C

~Basket A Contains the behaviours that are worth enduring fights and meltdowns over...This Helps Parents maintain  their role as parent authority figure

Safety is in basket a..... Unsafe behaviour that threaten themselves,others, animal or property

1. Make sure the issue is important enough to have a meltdown over
2. The child must be able to use the correct behaviour on a consistent basis
3. You as the parent must follow through

making beds or brushing teeth don't belong here.....swearing or breaking things however do....They are non negotiable behaviours...

Saying 'No'  'you cant' or 'you must' is basket A talk only......


~Basket B is for those behaviours that are important but not enough to cause major meltdowns.... Here we can Teach our kids about flexibility and frustration tolerance OR  in another words its your Roadmap basket

This is where you have to help your child think, communicate, problem solve....Its all about give and take... ITS Here that children learn how to stay calm and think when frustrated.... You need to show your child how to come up with alternative solutions,  Brushing teeth, turning TV off, Cleaning their room etc are all basket B behaviours...They Must be done but you can both try to negotiate about when or how..... To start

1. Show empathy for how your child feels,
   
2. and invite them to solve the problem with you.....

~Basket C is unimportant behaviours that aren't worth saying anything about anymore Those that are off the radar ..Its here that you need to be aware of your child's limitations.....This is a full basket, The contents are up to you really.... It may be the clothes your child wears (my son hates socks and i have given up fighting him over it ), the foods they want to eat, (Children wont starve even when they go on a i cant eat green food this week mum...Yep...this is master 5 again), Going to the supermarket (or in my sons case not going unless mummy promises to get in and out within 10 mins...Not easy to do trust me!!!! )...this is not giving in, but deciding that the behaviour is not important enough to have your child meltdown over and not needing the hassle of problem solving.....


In the end though Remember
You decide into which basket a behaviour goes into...Its your family  ....
you decide whether your child can follow through on a solution...Its your child
You are in charge......You are the parent......