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ADVICE RATING

4.81 (Highly recommend) from 20 votes (298 Visits)

Letting go

by lexiw

(January 2007) (rank 10th)

This is only going to be a short article but I think we sometimes need reminding that our babies are not babies forever.

My eldest is about to start high school and I am finding it very hard to let go. To allow her to do things

that kids her age are doing like staying home by themselves for short periods of time. My husband tells me very gently that I have to let her grow up. I asked the question last night here on minti about whether or not I should let her stay home. I was secretly hoping that everybody would say that she was to young, but nobody did . It made me realise that I am holding her back.

I don't deliberately do this and I think I am very lucky to have a husband who can see and tell me what I am doing to her. He says that he knows that I love her but he thinks that I need to give her more responsibilty and there was a similar comment from a friend here on minti. I don't want to loose my baby but I don't want to hold her back because of my feelings of sadness and loss.

Watching her face today when she was told that she could stay home with her friend by themselves ( under strict conditions ) I actually seen how happy that made her and how grown up she looked. She is no longer my baby but that isn't something to be sad about I am lucky to be able to share in the next stage of her life as she grows and matures and I think this is going to be just as great as everything has been so far.

So please try not to let your feelings of loss at your child growing up effect your child. Let them go it is very hard but just to see how they deal with things and learn in this new stage in their life I think is going to be amazingly worth it so try to think of the upside and enjoy them even though they are not your baby anymore.

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ADVICE RATING

4.81 (Highly recommend) from 20 votes

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| April 2007 \| jenaya04

letting go

Hey I bet none of your kids woke up on their 10th birthdays saying "gee mum, only another 6 years till i can drive" Woah, lets hope these next 6yrs will b the longest of our lives!!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| March 2007 \| lucky321

letting go

I found myself doing that with my dauther .It was so hard to let her go,This was great advice you have writen

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| OzBinky

I share this feeling....

I guess this is one of the things I find so hard to do......let go

I sometimes feel that's I do, let go of the things I love....

(((HUGS))) to you lexi

Lavinia

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	4.43 (Good) \| January 2007 \| MelodyS

Letting Go...

No! I don't want to!

You'd think that having raised one son to the age of 25 I'd be a little more in touch with this reality of "letting go". Well, one of my sons just celebrated his 12th birthday and all my mind can think is "OMG, he will be a teenager next year". Thanks for the reminder. As I looked at him yesterday the thought struck me how he is beginning to change, to not want to "play" with his younger brothers so much anymore, etc. He's moving on to interests a little more mature, at least some of the time.

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	4.29 (Good) \| January 2007 \| lightbee

Good on you!

I didn't realise how hard you were struggling over this when you wrote your question, but I'm really proud of you that you were able to put your own feelings aside for your daughter (as we all do! but it isn't easy). I hope it gets easier to let go as she grows up, but she will always be your baby - even if she isn't a baby.

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	4.59 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| Marguerite

Staying at Home Alone

I read your post too late to comment but now I think I might say something. I think having problems "letting go" is a natural part of parenting and an innate warning system that says "be cautious about this". i actually think your daughter's age is too young to be at home alone. Okay, for a quick dash up the shop maybe but you do want to know, at least, that she knows not to open the front door (except to one or two nominated people) and knows exactly what to do in case of fire and how to call emergency numbers etc. Young children at home alone are at risk, usually not because of their actions, but their inexperience and inability to handle situations that might occur (however, unlikely). That is my 2 cents worth. Of course, I stayed at home alone alot at that age and nothing happened to me! But I also know of cases that didn't turn out so positively. Trust your instinct and make all decisions from a considered, unemotional (as much as possible) point of view.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| cookclan

i still struggle with it

I still struggle with it mate and Aidan is 16 if he is at a party or out at a mates or home alone I call in a quick one on the mobile just touching base I say hehe...... John and Michaela and Tiana will stay home if I have to zoom out but I have neighbours keeping an eye on them ...... Not that they need it but It just makes me feel better.....hehe When I took Aidan to school on his first day he turned to me at the front gate and said go away mum you are embarrassing me ...... I was balling lol.... Letting the aapron strings out that little more can be soooo hard but it has to be done doesn't it good luck with it....... Mwah Angie

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	4.29 (Good) \| January 2007 \| lexiw

i still struggle with it

Thanks angie,

I am debating whether or not to walk with maria for her first day of high school just in case I cry and embaress her.

Lexi xxx

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	4.73 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| jbcet66

when to let go

my 14yrs twins and 11yrs have been allowed to stay home by self for about a year now. but funny enough they tell me that it's not that fun, and they feel a bit nervous, with out me. so just watch and see how it goes in the future, she might suprise you, thinking it's not that fun with out her mum.

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	4.73 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| Britt

great advice

i think it is so great you can admit that, as not many people can lol great article, and good on you i am happy for you and your daughter good job. Brittxx

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| breannababy

AAAAWWWWW

AAAWWWWHH HH Lexi that was beautiful........I dread the day Breanna starts school,My husband jokes about how i'll be the one crying and she'll be the one laughing with out a backward glance

I have only just let Breanna out of the shopping trolleyLOL I bet I'll be exactly the same as you LOL and then you can remind me to look at this article.So happy for you both MMWWAAAHH Merle and Breanna

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| January 2007 \| lexiw

AAAAWWWWW

Tell your husband it is no joke with my second daughter Brielle she wouldn't let me take her to school for the first day or even take her to the bus because and I quote " YOU WILL BE A SOOKY LALA MUMMY" So I sat at my friends house right near the bus stop and cried.

I am such a sook when it comes to my kids.LOL

Lexi xxx

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