Connecting with Your Kids: The Power of the Special Plate

As a parent, I am always looking for ways to encourage positive relationships within our family, particularly between the kids.  I've discussed sibling bickering and rivalry in other articles.  Needless to say, constant bickering between the kids can be a big energy drainer.  I want to share a little activity that we have been doing for several months called "the special plate."  I had read about it in a parenting magazine several years back and thought I'd give it a try.  The best thing, it is so easy and inexpensive to do!  Here are the ingredients:

• Eat dinner together at the table.
• A special plate.

That's it!  Now, the "special plate" is special because it is different.  Some parents have used a different place setting, others made an activity of it with the kids going to the local plate painting store and making it an event, others (like me) found an inexpensive plate at a local store.  I actually found a red plate with hearts at Target in the dollar bin!

When mealtime comes, one family member gets the special plate.  Before the meal starts, everyone at the table has to say something that they love about that person or something that makes them special.  Sometimes we identify something that the member has done that day that was kind or giving.  This activity build cohesiveness as a family and helps build self-esteem.  It also makes each family member think about the positives in other family members rather than focusing on the negatives (e.g., "she always messes with my toys!").  I have noticed that when we do this regularly, the kids seem to get along better.  As a matter of fact, we all seem to get along better!

I hope that some of you give this a try.  I know it has really been for my family!  If you do try it or have a similar activity, post what works for you!