Parenting Advice That Bears Repeating

Do not assume that your kids have heard what you have said simply because you have said it.  Repeat it! Repetition is fundamental in almost any learning so when you are attempting to teach your children use repetition! --Mac Bledsoe, Parenting with Dignity

There's

Let me say that again.

There is a lot of repetition involved in parenting.

I've logged almost twenty-four years as a mom. I've raised three kiddos and am going around the block again with my six-year-old. Just the other day, I heard myself ask my youngest daughter, "Did you go potty? Did you wash your hands?"

Now, forget the fact that it sounds ridiculous for a woman my age to say the word "potty." I suddenly wondered just how many times in the past 24 years have I said, "Do you have to go potty? Have you finished going potty? Did you wash your hands after going potty--no, I mean really washed your hands after going potty?"

I have no actual statistics for you. In the midst of mothering I didn't monitor things like that. I was too busy keeping track of shoes and coats and library books and retainers. But the point in all this isn't numerical anyways. It's that moms and dads repeat themselves. We say the same things over and over.

"Don't hit your brother. Don't hit your brother. I said don't hit your brother."

"Make sure you have all your school books in your backpack. Put all your books in your backpack. All your books are in your backpack--right?"

"Brush your teeth. Brush your teeth. BRUSH. YOUR. TEETH."

And all this parental repetition frustrates the heck out of us. We don't want to repeat ourselves. As my husband says, we sound like we have short-term memory loss. What we have is kids.

Let's just face the fact that part of our parental job description involves saying the same thing over and over and over and over again. And again. And again. If you have more than one child, just do the math. More kids equals more repetition. Stop being so surprised that you're repeating, repeating yourself. In someways, it makes your job easier. You don't have to wake up each day wondering what you have to do. You do--and say--what you did and said yesterday. That's parenting.

When I hear a young mom say, "Why do I have to say the same thing over and over again to my children?" I want to take her gently by the shoulders, look her straight in the eye, and say, "You just do. Deal with it."

And then I'll say it again to make sure she heard me.

Repeat after me...