Forgive and Forget...Kids do make mistakes too...

Kids hey..........We are supposed to teach them things aren't we......mine teach me alot as well.......They have taught  me to reason....they taught me to love unconditionally....they have also taught me to forgive and forget.........something I never thought I could ever learn......I hold a grudge.....I am bad for it but when it comes to my kids I can not do it and would not want to either....... I want to tell you a little bit about something that has been a bit of a problem in our house and how I feel about it.........

Here is the story.......

Tiana my twelve year old is my neice......she is a lovely energetic and friendly girl.....with sometimes a bit of an attitude and did have a problem with stealing things........ DID....... being the operative word..... See, she has alot of problems with her father and her mother, the way they treat her and the way they act towards her...........She has lashed out in the past by stealing..... I have dealt with it in the manor of suitable consequences. When she took from a shop once I made her return it and the shop keeper gave her a lecture(even though her mother had stolen in front of her when she had had them on access).....When she stole someones pencil case at school I approached the headmaster and asked him to deal with her fairly harsh because she had to learn her lesson so she was red carded and had lunch detentions..... She has bought things home from access in the past with her father that did not belong to her so I have made her take them back and have made her father aware...... I don't think she has stolen for over about 8 months now......I am proud of her..... I look at it this way......She has proved that taking things is something she is trying to overcome and succeeded.......When things go missing in this house of course she is asked but so are all the other kids......She is not asked not outright  accused......

This is what annoys me.........

I have had 2 phone calls after the last 2 contact visits with her father....the first one was asking about a cd that went missing from the house and she was asked if she took it and was the only child that was asked...... well accused......after she got off the phone i asked her if she had seen anyone with it because she did seem to be telling the truth so I believed her.....She said no and I belived her on that........Guess what it turned up down there it had slipped behind their wall unit.......still no apology for her......Then today they ring again and ask me to check Tiana's bag because their daughters purse was missing and they had looked everywhere down there......I said I will ask her if she has seen it........Tthis time not letting them get on the phone to her.....her first words were....Why am I always being accused of stealing from down there I made mistakes and they think I should pay for it for the rest of my life......... How wise those words were........

The lesson I learnt from my child today was how long should a child have to pay for a mistake they have made......Yes she has done it before but that does not mean she is doing it now........

I think Learning to forgive and forget is probably the most important lesson any parent can learn from our kids.......They make mistakes and do things that we have to deal with but we have to Forgive the mistake and then forget it in my books......Do not be too quick to naturally assume.........

I think Tiana's words will ring in her fathers ears for awhile or maybe not but I know I heard what she said.............

Can you hear what she is saying??

Have a great day
Cheers
Angie

Ps I got a call from them an hour and a half later to tell me that their daughter had found her purse......