Suicide is something that effects almost everyone,we may have lost someone we love, a friend, a relative or know someone who has been through it . Suicide  is so painful and something that is so real, We know it happens alot to people but

I lost about 7 people i love to suicide

• first my dad when i was 10, over dose ( he was/is the most special person in my world) He was only 30
•  my aunty she jumped off the gap, in sydney when i was 12. aged 38.
•  then when i was 17 and nine months pregnant my mother over dosed, aged 38
•  then about 6 months after mum, my boyfriend hung himself.. he was 21
•  then a handful of friends over the years had done it also.    

Below i have put together a few things to look through, like warning signs and ways to tell children and even it only helps save one person, thats good enough for me... love to you all!!! (Source SAVE, Suicide Awareness)

         Warning Signs of Suicide

• Talking about suicide.
• Statements about hopelessness, helplessness, or worthlessness.
• Preoccupation with death.
• Suddenly happier, calmer.
• Loss of interest in things one cares about.
• Visiting or calling people one cares about.
• Making arrangements; setting one's affairs in order.
• Giving things away.

A suicidal person urgently needs to see a doctor or psychiatrist.

In Adults

• Persistent sad or "empty" mood.
• Feeling hopeless, helpless, worthless, pessimistic and/or guilty.
• Substance abuse.
• Fatigue or loss of interest in ordinary activities, including sex.
• Disturbances in eating and sleeping patterns.
• Irritability, increased crying, anxiety or panic attacks.
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions.
• Thoughts of suicide; suicide plans or attempts.
• Persistent physical symptoms or pains that do not respond to treatment.

In Infants

It’s important to understand what constitutes normal development in infants, children and adolescents vs. what may be signs of a depressive illness. You may not see a drastic change in a child/adolescent's behavior or mood if they were born with a depressive illness. It may be part of their make-up having been present from day one.

• Unresponsive when talked to or touched, never smile or cry, or may cry often being difficult to soothe.
• Failure to gain weight (not due to other medical illness).
• Unmotivated in play.
• Restless, oversensitive to noise or touch.
• Problems with eating or sleeping.
• Digestive disorders (constipation/diarrhea).

In Children

In children, depressive illnesses/anxiety may be disguised as, or presented as, school phobia or school avoidance, social phobia or social avoidance, excessive separation anxiety, running away, obsessions, compulsions, or everyday rituals, such as having to go to bed at the exact time each night for fear something bad may happen. Chronic illnesses may be present also since depression weakens the immune system.

• Persistent unhappiness, negativity, complaining, chronic boredom, no initiative.
• Uncontrollable anger with aggressive or destructive behavior, possibly hitting themselves or others, kicking, or self-biting, head banging. Harming animals.
• Continual disobedience.
• Easily frustrated, frequent crying, low self-esteem, overly sensitive.
• Inability to pay attention, remember, or make decisions, easily distracted, mind goes blank.
• Energy fluctuations from lethargic to frenzied activity, with periods of normalcy.
• Eating or sleeping problems.
• Bedwetting, constipation, diarrhea. Impulsiveness, accident-prone.
• Chronic worry & fear, clingy, panic attacks.
• Extreme self-consciousness.
• Slowed speech & body movements.
• Disorganized speech - hard to follow when telling you a story, etc.
• Physical symptoms such as dizziness, headaches, stomachaches, arms or legs ache, nail-biting, pulling out hair or eyelashes. (ruling out other medical causes)
• Suicidal talk or attempts.

In Adolescents

Depressive illnesses/anxiety may be disguised as, or presented as, eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, drug/alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, risk-taking behavior such as reckless driving, unprotected sex, carelessness when walking across busy streets, or on bridges or cliffs. There may be social isolation, running away, constant disobedience, getting into trouble with the law, physical or sexual assaults against others, obnoxious behavior, failure to care about appearance/hygiene, no sense of self or of values/morals, difficulty cultivating relationships, inability to establish/stick with occupational/educational goals.

• Physical symptoms such as dizziness, headaches, stomachaches, neck aches, arms or legs hurt due to muscle tension, digestive disorders. (ruling out other medical causes)
• Persistent unhappiness, negativity, irritability.
• Uncontrollable anger or outbursts of rage.
• Overly self-critical, unwarranted guilt, low self-esteem. Inability to concentrate, think straight, remember, or make decisions, possibly resulting in refusal to study in school or an inability (due to depression or attention deficit disorder) to do schoolwork.
• Slowed or hesitant speech or body movements, or restlessness (anxiety).
• Loss of interest in once pleasurable activities.
• Low energy, chronic fatigue, sluggishness.
• Change in appetite, noticeable weight loss or weight gain, or abnormal eating patterns.
• Chronic worry, excessive fear.
• Preoccupation with death themes in literature, music, drawings, speaking of death repeatedly, fascination with guns/knives.
• Suicidal thoughts, plans, or attempts.

In the Elderly

Many people feel that it is normal for elderly persons to be depressed. This is a dangerous misconception. If you suspect an older adult is suffering from a depressive illness, a thorough medical examination should be given as soon as possible.

• Unusual complaints of aches and pains (back, stomach, arms, legs, head, chest), fatigue, slowed movements and speech, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, weight increase or decrease, blurred vision, dizziness, heart racing, anxiety.
• Inability to concentrate, remember or think straight (sometimes mistaken for dementia). An overall sadness or apathy, withdrawal; inability to find pleasure in anything.
• Irritability, mood swings or constant complaining; nothing seems to make the person happy.
• Talk of worthlessness, not being needed anymore, excessive and unwarranted guilt.
• Frequent doctor visits without relief in symptoms; all tests come out negative.
• Alcoholism, which can mask an underlying depression. (Source SAVE, Suicide Awareness)

What are some of the   RISK FACTORS???

• Breakup of a romance
• Unexpected pregnancy
• A stressful family life. (having parents who are depressed or are substance abusers.
• a family history of suicide
• Loss of security...fear of authority, peers, group or gang members
• Stress due to new situations; school, uni 
• relocating to a new community
• Failing in school or failing to pass
  an important test
• A serious illness or injury to oneself
• Seriously injuring another person or
  causing another person's death
  (example: automobile accident)
• Major loss...of a loved one,
  a home, divorce in the family,
  a trauma, a relationship

What to Tell Children?? (Source SAVE, Suicide Awareness)

What children might feel after losing someone they love to suicide:

• Abandoned - that the person who died didn't love them.
• Feel the death is their fault - if they would have loved the person more or behaved differently.
  Afraid that they will die too.
• Worried that someone else they love will die or worry about who will take care of them.
• Guilt - because they wished or thought of the person's death.
• Sad.
• Embarrassed - to see other people or to go back to school.
• Confused.
• Angry - with the person who died, at God, at everyone.
• Lonely.
• Denial - pretend like nothing happened.
• Numb - can't feel anything.
• Wish it would all just go away.
• A children or adolescent may have a multitude of feelings or he may not feel anything at all. Whatever he's feeling remember your role, as an adult, is to help. Reassure your child whatever feelings he might experience, he has permission to let them out. If he wants to keep to himself for a while, let him. Don't tell a child how he should feel, or discourage him from expressing negative emotions like anger.

How do we explain suicide to children or young people???

Age is a factor in understanding and the types of information to provide. Some children are with a one or two sentence answer; others might have continuous questions they should be allowed to ask and to have answered.

When a child hears that someone "committed suicide" or died of suicide, one of their first questions might be, "What is suicide?" One way to explain is that people die in different ways - from cancer, heart attacks, car accidents, or old age for example. Suicide means that a person caused his or her own death intentionally. If he presses for more detail, use your discretion to help the child understand as much as is appropriate.

Some examples of explaining why suicide happens might be:

• "He had an illness in his brain (or mind) and he died."
• "Her brain got very sick and she died."
• "The brain is an organ of the body just like the heart, liver and kidneys. Sometimes it can get sick, just like other organs."
• "She had an illness called depression and it caused her to die."
• If someone the child knows, or the child herself, is being treated for depression, it's critical to stress that only some people die from depression, not everyone. Remind her there are many options for getting help, like medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of both.
  

A more detailed explanation might be:

"Our thoughts and feelings come from our brain, and sometimes a person's brain can get very sick - the sickness can cause a person to feel very badly inside. It also makes a person's thoughts get all jumbled and mixed up, so he can't think clearly. Some people can't think of any other way of stopping the hurt they feel inside. They don't understand that they don't have to feel that way, that they can get help."

It's important to note that there are people who were getting help for their depression and died anyway. Just as in other illnesses, a person can receive the best medical treatment and still not survive. This can also be the case with depression.

A child needs to understand that the deceased loved them, but that because of the illness he or she may have been unable to convey that or to think about how the child would feel after the death. The child needs to know that the suicide was not their fault, and that nothing they said or did, or didn't say or do, caused the death.

Some children might ask questions related to the morals of suicide - good/bad, right/wrong. It is best to steer clear of this, if possible. Suicide is none of these - it is something that happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with that pain.

Whatever approach is taken when explaining suicide to children, they need to know they can talk about it and ask questions whenever they feel the need. They need to understand they won't always feel the way they do now, that things will get better, and that they'll be loved and taken care of no matter what. (Source SAVE, Suicide Awareness)

Suggested Reading for Kids:

• Bart Speaks Out: Breaking the Silence on Suicide by Linda Goldman, M.S.
• Child Survivors of Suicide: A Guidebook for Those Who Care For Them by Rebecca Parkin with Karen Dunne-Maxim
• When Dinosaurs Die - A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown
• The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide by Helen Fitzgerald
• Talking About Death: A Dialogue between Parent & Child by Earl A. Grollman

Always remember that is someone takes there own life, that you are not to blame...

Copyright Permission Granted...
This article has been reproduced whole or in part thereof with "specific permission" given by the original author from this web site, SAVE, Suicide Awareness (29th Jan 07)...with credit to the original author and a link to the original article provided.