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  4.40 (Worth a try) from 12 votes (998 Visits) |
To write a birth plan or not to write a birth plan? That is the question.
In my last advice I suggested that Birth Plans should be thrown out the window. First time mums beware. If you set too high expectations of yourself and your birth experience you are  in for a shock. Murphy's Law will prove that things never go according to plan. But after having a baby under traumatic circumstances you are in no state to realise this and will be left an emotional wreck, believing you have failed yourself. Don't mistake me I didn't plan the 'perfect birth'. I read about absolutely everything about labour and understood every kind of complication which could occur. My philosophy was that "I should expect anything but hope for the best". Unfortunately, I didn't count on having EVERYTHING go completely wrong and I developed every complication possible.
I wrote a birth plan that went something like this:
Dear doctors and nurses,
Thankyou for looking after me so well during my pregnancy. I look forward to having an active birth at < > hospital. I understand that Placenta Praevia may be a problem but would like to have a natural birth if possible.
- Support People: I would like my partner Brad and his mother Jen to support me through the labour
- Pain Relief: I would like to have an active birth. I might use the gas but would prefer not to have an epidural. I would like the midwives to assist me with breathing techniques to help with pain
- Intervention: I expect that doctors will intervene only if necessary for the safety of the baby and myself
- Episiotomy: I would like to use birthing strategies which avoid the necessity for an episiotomy
These aren't necessarily unrealistic expectations. I went to antenatal classes and learned further about what to expect from the labour and birth (on top of extensive reading). I knew when to go to hospital and when to hold off and wait. I thought I had it all planned. WRONG!!!!!!
To read an account of my experience, click here
My point at the end of all this is that a Birth Plan can be quite detrimental to your emotional state after giving birth. The fact is that giving birth is one of the most stressful and painful experiences that you will ever face and no birth plan is going to stop that. Birth plans are designed to alleviate anxiety before you give birth so that you can put your thoughts in order for what you expect might happen. But birth plans do paint a pretty rosy picture. I must say I was very calm about the whole idea of giving birth given that I had it all planned out. The fact is that things don't usually go according to plan. And when this happens you might wind up feeling that you have failed yourself. If you find this, like me, you may end up with depression. It's a fact, if you don't meet your goals you tend to get depressed. After giving birth these emotions are intensified tenfold.
 Hayley xxx
PS I'd really appreciate any feedback on other people's experience with the use of birth plans. Please comment below. |
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| ADVICE RATING |
4.40 (Worth a try) from 12 votes |
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Re: Birth Plan
Hi
I read your story, what a terrible birth! Its so wonderful that you two are ok now tho.
I was very surprised to see that you live in Australia, I didn't think they used morphine in births here anymore!
It sounds like nobody was really listening to during your labor at all. I wonder if maybe not being in control or listened to is the real problem and not the birth plan at all.
As a child I was always extremely scared of labor and birth because of the horror stories I heard. So when I found myself pregnant with my (four month old) son, I read everything about labor and birth I could get my hands on. I especially sought out birth stories to get a real picture of birth. I found that EVERY labor is different. I took that into account when I wrote my birth plan, or birth guideline as i called it. I wanted to do things as natural as possible but I concentrated in letting my health care professionals know that I was not opposed to their help, but my support people and I were to be consulted before any intervention. I also made sure my partner mom and sister (my support people) knew what i wanted and what was non negotiable.
Giving birth was the hardest thing I have done. Not much went the way I had planned.
(My labor started with strong 40 second contractions about a minute and a half apart and lasted for twenty two hours. Most of this was done at home as I was also told to go home or risk unnecessary intervention. I was also passing out in between contractions because I unfortunetly took two strong sleeping tablets the nurses assured me would give me some much needed sleep. I ended up having and epidural and sleeping the last two hours.)
Gee sorry this is so long... the point is I still think birth plans are great as long as you dont expect everything to go exactly to plan. Just like any other thing in life we need to aspire to something. Reach for the stars and be happy if you only bring back the moon, i say.
sorry if this sounds preachy 
its certainly not meant to
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birth plans and stuff
Hi
Don't you think that most of the role of mother, birth and pregnancy are all seen through a rosy image of 'what is should be like'? Our images of motherhood in society are strong and are reinforced continuously through all agents of socialisation such as family, school, media... So when we realise that it is the most difficult thing ever... we think, this shouldn't feel like this I should be able to manage and feel disappointed that we have not achieved such expectations.
I have though a lot about this and when my friend who is 28 weeks pregnant wants to discuss things, I feel torn. I was surpirsed at this. I was ready to tell the world that its really hard and nothing will prepare you etc etc but I don't want to tarnish her experience either, maybe she will not find it as tough as I did, maybe her birth will be easier and less traumatic. So in the end I guard myself a little, but tell het that I am here if she needs me. I have told her that it is hard but I wouldn't change my son at all as he is fab- thats the truth...just not all of it.
I believe that as a society we do not look after mothers / mums-to-be as well as other places and this includes all the care that is involved with family as we have seen 'the family' as a private and ideal institution for far too long. We do not like to get involved in private matters as a result abuse, violence, care or rather lack of it is underestimated and this includes the after care of mothers.
Sorry this wasn't meant to be my soap box thing. I'll stop going on.
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Birth Plan
Good piece.
When I went into labour with my 1st nothing was as I expected for a start, my 'show' was more like a heavy period, frightened me to death as I was sure I was losing another baby (had previously had a miscarriage) I also remembered from classes there would be a point you want to push but you musn't as you will damage the baby's head. I remember screaming "Stop me I'm pushing, I'll hurt my babys head" How can you stop pushing at that stage??? I never worked that out even 3 babies later.
With my 2nd, my daughter I was already 3 weeks overdue and they wanted me to leave it another week, after demanding something was done, I was kept in hospital to be induced the next morning, well during the night I went into labour myself, just as they wired me to the monitors, we saw baby's heartbeat flashing around 140 then alarms all started bleeping as suddenly it stopped and went to 20 It was horrific, she was born very fast I remember only seeing her for a second as they rushed her away, she had got severly distressed and passed meconium in the womb, had swallowed it and had to have her stomach syringed. Bless her what a start to life.
The other two were relatively straight forward forunately.
I think birth plans are great, but you have to accept that they can't be written in stone and if anything unpredictable happens you have to be prepared for things to change last minute.
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Related keywords: birth, depression, episitomy, expectations, pain, plan, post-natal, post-partum, psychosis, relief
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(January 2007) (
's Hayley
and it's taken a long time for my family to recover. I know I'm pretty fortunate and it could always be worse. Hayley xxx 
