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6 Sensational Notes Your Kids Are Waiting for You to Write

jenlemen by jenlemen Young Parent(January 2007) (rank 10th)
The other day Madeleine went to a craft store with a friend.  She returrned with a bright hot pink foam mailbox that she had put together from a little kit with her friend.  "This," s.  he declared, taping it with packing tape to the wall outside her bedroom
door, "is my mailbox.  NO JUNK MAIL!"

We hardly paid attention until Madeleine started to inform us that she had left us a note in the mailbox.  Oh, okay.  The little notes informed me that she was going to be playing alone in her room for a while, or that she had decided to go play next door at Osman's.  Last night right before she dozed off she whispered, "Tell Dad to leave me a note in my mailbox before he goes off to work."  I did, so he did, and this morning there is no doubt in my mind that my little girl will think she hit the jackpot in the loveletter department as soon as she wakes up.

I remember how much written correspondence met to me when I was a child.  Here are five letters every kid will be glad to receive:

  • The Lunch Note.  When I volunteer in my son's classroom, I'm amazed at how much even pre-readers go crazy for notes in their lunch.  They can't read yet, but they know it's love in every line.  I know some moms who recycle lunch notes, others who keep a stack of pre-made one-liners right next to the lunch making station.  Personally, I love to write my kids a note rebus style.  I draw a picture of an eye, then a heart, then the letter 'U'.  Other rebus favorites?  "You are a cutie pie" and "You are my sunshine."
  • The Love Letter.  My mother occasionally wrote me a long letter when I was facing a particular difficult growing up challenge.  I remember re-reading those letters throughout my childhood.  They were my special treasures.  I have long letters for each of my children sealed in their baby books for reading once they are adults.  I want them to know now (and later) how deeply they are impacting my life. 
  • The Laundry List.  This note is most effective when you're feeling disconnected to your kids and needing to remember the finer points of their unruly personalities.  Make a list of five things that make you melt when you think about him, or ten things you appreciate about her.   You can also make a list of things you want to do together in the near future.   Kids need to know that they are loved even when they get on our nerves.  This tip works for all ages.
  • The Stamped Envelope.  There is nothing like mail with a stamp on it, in the mailbox, hand addressed to you.  Go to your favorite coffee shop, write a few lines and drop that love letter in the mailbox.  Your kids will be delighted to get real mail and your thoughtfulness will be a highlight of their day.
  • The Apology Letter.  Okay, so you yelled.  Said something you regret.  Hurt someone's feelings before you realized what you had done.  Your kids will be touched to receive your handwritten apology along with an invitation to meet up in the kitchen for some ice cream.  By putting your apology on paper, you send the message that you really do get it, and that you care deeply about being reconciled.
  • The Correspondence Letter.  I once heard of a single mother who was working two jobs to support her four children.  She had once been a stay-at-home soccer mom, so the transition was painful for everyone involved.  She decided to set up a post office on the kitchen table where she would "send" letters to each of her kids to open in the morning when she was dashing off to work.  Late at night she would reply and by writing back and forth they kept up with each other's lives.  I wonder if this might also be a special way to talk about things that are harder to discuss in person.
I can't wait to see Madeleine's face when she sees the long letter her dad wrote to her this morning.  Hopefully, this little mailbox will be one more way we let her know how much we care.

Did your parent ever write you a meaningful letter?  Comments are open for sharing below.

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littlebundle
March 2007 | littlebundle
Write advice
Jen - another great article.  I love these ideas.  I have started a book for each of my children and each year on their birthday I write them a long letter about what they are up to and how I feel about it.  I'm going to give them the book on their 21st (or maybe 18th) birthday. 


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astrogirl
February 2007 | astrogirl
Great Idea!
This is a great idea. I love the letter box your daughter came up with too. I'm thinking that might make a great craft project for my son.


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VILandDad
February 2007 | VILandDad
Very cool idea
I love the mailbox idea.


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Stef
January 2007 | Stef
This is so sweet
I totally forgot that my grandma and I used to write letters to each other when we were upset. She would draw little stamps and make a fake cancellation mark, and I would write back. This is a great way to communicate when things are harder.


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astrobeka
January 2007 | astrobeka
Love this advice

My sister and I used to do this, we had made ourselves letterboxes and put them on our bedroom doors... I used to put lollies in with the letters I put in her letterbox! Probably apaologies for mucking about with her stuff!

I can't wait till my son can read, so I can do these letters for him.

I love writing letters, and I do lunch box notes and love letters for my husband... If he is reading a book, when he puts it down for a break I have slipped notes between the pages he hasn't reached yet. He always wonders how I got it in there without him seeing.



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LavendarGirl
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | LavendarGirl
I love letters
Thanks for sharing your article and everyone who wrote comments - especially from the childs perspective.  I love writing, sending and receiving hand-written letters.  I have sent my boys 2 heartfelt letters each in the mail in the past telling them stuff about how proud I am of them and why and that I love them, etc.  I like to mail it so that they get an unexpected surprise after school and can read it before I get home from work.  I have felt that maybe its a bit much, too sentimental or 'girly', especially when they don't talk about it when I'm home.  14yo son kind of avoids eye contact and just has this smile on his face so am not sure where it all sits.  I enjoyed reading about your daughter's response to it and everyone's memories about a letter from a parent.  Think I will stop analysing the expressions and just keep on with it. 


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bopeep
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | bopeep
Love your article...

Reminded me of the time my dad wrote me a letter...

I was in my teenage years, a total rebel, and we didn't get along at all. He's a man of few words, and finds it hard to even say the words 'I love you'. Growing up, he never hugs us nor kisses us. 'Mum's job' he said. In fact the love letters he wrote my mum when they were dating were signed, with just his name! (No 'love', 'truly yours' or anything soppy!). I have never seen him say 'I love you' to my mum ever.. and they've been married for more than 35 years (and yes, still happily together!)

At the time, he and I argued and fought over everything - even the remote control. I was a teenage rebel, and he was trying to keep me in check. That day we had a row over something which I can't even remember so I screamed that 'I hate him' then ran and locked myself in my room to sob (I was a little terror at that age!)... That night he slid a letter under my door. I still have the letter now. It basically says - I love you - spelt out loud and clear. For someone who has difficulty expressing his love publicly, his putting it pen to paper really moved me. It's been over 14 years and I still have the letter.. I keep it in my little safe (where I kept my secret diary all those years ago growing up) in my bedroom at my parents' place (Yes, they still keep my room for me!) - and everytime my husband and I go home to visit - and now plus our little girl - I never fail to take out the letter and read it... :) It gives me a very warm and fuzzy feeling....



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monyq83
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | monyq83
What a top idea
Jenlemen, do you ever write any bad advice? You are so full of good ideas. I really wish my kids could read now!!! Cant wait till they can. Love the idea. Well done :)


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mandymum3
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | mandymum3
:)
I love it. Tommorow me and my eldest can make a letter box. how very sweet, Well done


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lightbee
4.00 (Good) | January 2007 | lightbee
Pre-reader letters
I loved putting letters in my younger kids lunchboxes.  I would put the note underneath their sandwich so it would get revealed as they ate it!  And because they couldn't read, I didn't bother writing words, but instead drew a picture I knew they liked.  For example, my youngest was into tigers at one stage, so I drew a picture of a tiger.  She loved it.


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NickysMumMum
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | NickysMumMum
This is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes...
What a beautiful way to show your children you love them. I love the lunch box letters. They know you love them even when you're apart, how adorable. I'm always looking for more ways I can show my little boy how much I love him and this will come in handy in the future. I'm going to use your advice and write some love letters in his favourite books. I can't tell you how much I love this advice.

My mum wrote to me throughout my childhood because I was taken from her when I was young. I wasn't allowed to have some of them but the ones I did were very special to me. I love my mum very much despite her illness. Writing has been the only communication I've had from her for over 15 years. Whenever she writes it's filled with love. She calls me 'my darling Hayley' or 'beautiful girl' and she is so happy to be a grandmother.

's Hayley


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Raine
4.80 (Excellent) | January 2007 | Raine
6 Sensational Notes Your Kids Are Waiting for You to Write
My Grandson loves fiddling on the computer so I try to send him a special email occaisionally...We're very close & even though we see each other practically everyday we also keep in touch by the phone or over the net...  However, after your posting I feel a letter coming on.


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ClayCook
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | ClayCook
hope
great advice jen
i hope i can remember to do this as i certainly do want to!


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Kristen
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | Kristen
Mom wrote you letters?
Really?  I guess she loved you more.


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portugreek
4.00 (Good) | January 2007 | portugreek
How sweet
Wow...that is just beautiful!  I'm jealous I didn't have a Mom like you!  I definitely want to be that mother --- my girl is 9 months old so I've got a headstart here.  I definitely won't forget to do this for her!  Thank You!


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nell18-3
4.00 (Good) | January 2007 | nell18-3
Lovely Letters
that is such a lovely idea.
I'm going to start it. On my 19 year old daughter too.
I tend to send them text messages saying I love you when they arent with me (Boys with their dad and daughter out with mates) but for them to come home to a hand written letter is lovely and something for them to keep
Thanks for sharing this
xxx


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Kuristima
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | Kuristima
Letters mean so much

What great suggestions! My 11 year old daughter loves to get notes from me.

We had an especially difficult morning here today so I sent Sidney an email. She has computer class today at school so when she opens it up and sees the little smiley, I know that it will brighten her mood. They know that we love them but every little thing extra we can do makes a world of difference. I have wonderful parents however they were never open emotionally. I want my children to experince an openly loving family. I did say "I am sorry that this morning started on a difficult note" even though she had not done what she should have. We all have to know when an apology is needed and even though she made a mistake, I should not have yelled. She is a wonderful child and was tired from being out late at a game that she cheered at last night. I should have considered that and helped her more.

So, great suggestions with the notes. I have always done this with her and she really appreciates it. Sometimes I even send her a rose or carnation with a note to school or leave it on her bed. I am hoping that she always remembers times like that. I will keep notes for my little Gabriel to read as he gets older as well.

Kuri :)



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OzBinky
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | OzBinky
How lovely.....

Thank you for sharing this Jen.....

Made me think of a letter my dad wrote before he died. I was only little but I still remember it...

Have a lump in my throat thinking of it...thank you so much for inspiring a memory that was lost.....or misplaced anyway

Lavinia



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blackwidowkate
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2007 | blackwidowkate
mailbox
Hi
Thanks now i am going to cry.....
Luv Deb


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      monyq83
January 2007 | monyq83
mailbox
*Hands you a soggy tissue* here borrow this...


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