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10 Tried and True Tips on Weaning Toddlers |
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by jenlemen  (January 2007) (rank 1st) |
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Hi my daughter will not give up the boob and she is 2 in feb I can not stand it any more and my husband is always giving me flack. I want her to stop but when i say no she gets so hurt and cries. I dont no how to get her off, I also need her of because i have a thyriod problem and need to take meds but i can not untill she is of the boob, but i dont no how to get her of with out mentaily scaring her.
Not everyone will choose to nurse into the toddler years, but for those who do the decision on when and how to wean is a big one. Sometimes due to health concerns, you have to wean immediately and there's no time to ease the transition. For mothers who have a little bit of time, however, here are ten gentle ways you can help your toddler wean:
- Get your story straight. Some kids (especially by age two) have not considered weaning for one second, so when you start to pull back, they really won't understand what's going on. Come up with one or two sentences to summarize your reasons and repeat these over and over again to your child when they ask you why. Some people talk about "the boo" going to sleep or needing a rest now. I would not tell a toddler they are too big to nurse, but instead explain that there are new fun things waiting for them when they are no longer nursing. Some kids benefit from a little book showing them from babyhood until now, highlighting their growth and ongoing development. This little visual aid illustrates the process of growing up and moving on the some kids really appreciate.
- Distraction is key. You know your key times when your child loves to nurse. Fill these moments with fun activities that will capture their attention. You can make jello together, play with playdough, entertain a new baby doll or push around a stroller. By age two, most toddlers love to be able to push a baby in a doll stroller. Save your most enticing toys and games when you know interest will be high in nursing.
- Pick key times and stick to them. Some toddlers are more than willing to cut back on nursing as long as they can be guaranteed an early morning session or their bedtime ritual of nursing. You'll do much better to make these key times the very last to go in the weaning process. Once you know what your non-negotiables are, you can set limits and tell your child that you will only be nursing at this time. Some kids respond well to cues such as "when the sun comes up" and "when dad gets home" or "after we come home from the park".
- Introduce new sources of non-nursing related comfort. When I was weaning Madeleine at two and a half, I realized that nursing was our primary source of shared comfort and nurture. In order to wean her, it was imperative that I find some subsitute sources of solace. In our case, she liked me to sing her favorite songs while she snuggled a favorite doll or stuff animal. To this day, this is her favorite method of soothing.
- Spend time away. Sometimes the easiest way to wean is to go through a series of travels or afternoons out that naturally stretch out the time between sessions. I'm not suggesting going away for a week or even a weekend. Sometimes just a long afternoon into evening here and there is all that it takes to gently nudge your little one into more independence. Most toddlers don't think about nursing unless the opportunity presents itself, so utilize this tendency well.
- Bump up caloric intake. Sometimes toddlers increase their demand to be nursed right at the time you want to wean them. One reason could be that they are hungry! If you are committed to weaning, make sure you have yummy, healthy snacks on hand 24/7 to help keep their hunger satisfied. Offer a substitute milk source (per your pediatrician's instructions) and try to offer food/drink *before* they get hungry. This will help the process.
- Don't sit down. It sounds silly, but I found that anytime I sat on the couch, my toddler at the time was right there behind me, ready to climb into mom's lap and nurse his/her heart away. We eliminated plenty of nursing time just by keeping busy and making sure mom stayed vertical and off the sofa!
- Empathize. Weaning is a really big deal for little children. Often they feel hurt, confused, upset or just sad about the transition. You can ease the process by letting them know that you can tell they are disappointed and that yes, this is a sad time. Once they are really sure you are with them in that moment, you can move on to cheerier topics. I knew one mom who prepared a special gift on the birthday of the child to commemorate the end of their nursing partnership. It really made a difference.
- Whenever possible, take your time. If you've had a positive nursing relationship so far, do whatever you can to make your weaning experience pleasant as well. You are more likely to have less resistance if you take two months to wean than you are if you only give yourself two days. Most people will be able to wean successfully (and peacefully) somewhere within that time frame. By taking your time, you are respecting the significance of this transition and helping your child adjust. I learned the hard way--while pregnant and nursing a two year old!--that these things really do take time.
- Reconsider your decision. Sometimes you are trying to wean a child and nothing is working. The child is still every bit as interested in nursing as he ever was and there is no end in sight. All the little tricks aren't getting you anywhere, and you are worn out. Is it possible that the timing is off for this transition? Would you be more willing to continue nursing if you could be guaranteed more alone time? If your child is really resisting, it may be a sign that she is not ready to wean. Most children will self-wean between ages three and four after six months to a year of very minimal nursing--just mornings and nights, for example. Consider trying again in three months, if things aren't unfolding naturally.
