Hi there I just wanted to give you a little insight into something we do to help sort out problems in our home.....Things the kids might not feel too comfortable to discuss with each other or when tension is building we may also decide to do one......

We call this A Family Meeting........

Family meetings are held in the longe room and usually once a week .....Everyone has a chair or beanbag to sit on and we all face each other in a circle.....The rules are laid down and talked about  before the meeting is started......The rules are...... What is discussed in the family meeting stays in the family meeting....If it is bought up it is sorted in the meeting and no more discussion outside the meeting........An example of this is if one of the kids believe that they have been dealt a rough hand by one of the other kids or they have been worried about the way someone is behaving at the time then that can be bought up.......There is no raised voices and whoever anything is directed at listens and waits till it is their turn to respond...... Basically the whole family meeting is run like a normal meeting.......No leaving until all is settled either......No body leaves the room until all things brought up in the meeting are settled.....

Most times in a family meeting things like how something one of the kids did affected another child and made them feel.....Like when Aidan goes of his medication and has had a bad time and becomes a little...... no ALOT moody the kids will tell him how worried they get about him and how much better they feel when he is on his medication.....Or one of the kids might tell another about something they said or did at school or on the bus that hurt them.....They then tell them how that made them feel......This is usually where Ken or I step in and ask the other child were they aware that the actions they chose made that person feel this way........

Having a family meeting can also be called by us at any time to sort out an issue that is going on in our home....Like recently there was an issue with one of the kids getting a little handy but making it look like an accident......This needed to be dealt with immediately......The child involved we thought needed to be aware that the other kids felt this was on purpose and was a way for them to just hurt them without getting in trouble for breaking the no hands no feet policy in our home..........

Once the kids have talked to each other about the things they have on their mind Ken and I ask them if there is anything they want to talk to us about......Sometimes there is an issue......recently we were told that it was thought by John and Michaela that they felt we were being too hard on them by not allowing them to go to a party of a person a year older than them.....Even though it was discussed out of the meeting we again explained our reasoning behind it......Once it is talked about in the family meeting it is over so the choice is get it all out in the meeting or let it go........

Another rule we also have in the family meeting is if the kids feel they want to own up to something that they have been hiding from us they can......If it is eating on their mind then let it out......

I think this is an important part of our week and something that helps our kids to have a bit of a better understanding of each other....It helps them understand how something they do can affect someone elses feelings......No matter how simple......If it matters to one of the other kids then it should matter to the person who did or said it.....

This is just what we do in our home and we feel it works quiet well.......We have even on occasions included other kids when they have been staying here in this because they too need to be heard by the other kids.......especially if they are staying awhile.....

I know this sort of thing is not for everyone but if you feel that your kids are acting like they do not understand each other then maybe give it a go you just never know what you might learn........

Have a good day
Cheers
Angie