Setting up Support

I had a clinic appointment today and the nurse asked me "Do you have enough support?"  I replied yes without even hesitating.  It made me think back to when I first had my son.

My parents lived overseas and Mum came out for a few weeks, but that was all she could manage.  My mother in law lived two hours away and had her hands full with foster children.  My husband had to work hard as he was on notice for not making enough sales (!).  All my friends were working and most are childless.

I remember sitting at home most days on my own.  Most days I walked the ten minutes to our shop to have some human contact - a couple of times a week I would go shopping in town to have something to do (great on one income!!).

When my son was a few months old, I met up with some mums that I had met in antenatal classes.  We decided to meet every week and formed our own mother's group.  This was so incredibly helpful.  They were human, they had kids the same age and they understood.  We didn't have much in common - most of them live 40 minutes away and have nicer houses than us.  But they are lovely ladies and they kept me sane.  Our meetings were all about helping each other and giving each other advice, support and a listening ear!

We still meet three years down the track - though now we all have multiple children it is not so often.

When my son was a bit older we joined a ladies Bible Study group at the local church.  I didn't know most of the ladies and they were older but they became my life support system.  They helped me so much and they also introduced me to their friends - some of whom have children my age.  Some of these women have become my closest friends now.  Funny how children change your circles of friends.

Probably the biggest factor in our support now though is playgroup.  I cannot say enough good words about playgroups - ours is the best!  It is small(ish), dynamic and we all live nearby.  We share interests and lifestyle and our kids all go to preschool together.  Playgroup is more structured and it is about kids and parents (rather than just the parents).  Some are language or culture specific but many are just for people located nearby.  Once you are a member you can attend a playgroup anywhere in Australia and some people attend multiple groups.  There is also room to get involved in the committee and craft which is great if you are feeling a but of baby mush up top!  You can find out more about playgroups in your area by contacting Playgroup Australia. 

There are other things you can do too if you are wondering how you will make friends - book your children into swimming lessons, music, dance classes or gymnastics and talk to the other parents watching.  Find out if there is Breastfeeding Association or Country Womens Association meeting near you as there are some lovely ladies in these groups.  Book yourself into your local gym, yoga or pilates classes (if you can) or even belly dancing classes (!) as these are great places to meet Mums.

Last but not least, if you are at home with a small child and feeling lonely I have 2 final pieces of advice:
1) get out of the house!  If you are out walking or playing at the park you are far more likely to meet other people
2) Minti!  Need I say more??

I'm sure other parents will have other suggestions so maybe I can add them in later, but I just wanted to say "Hang in there" - things will improve and before you know it you will feel at home with a great network of other families and can truly answer "Yes I have lots of support!"