Hi Nadine,thats really awesome...am glad you finally met your connected with your aunt and cousins...am sure with time you'll get to know your sister too..good luck..

Family dynamics can be really horrible!  Mine are amazingly screwballed because I'm adopted and then there is the step parent side of things - too complicated to say the least! LOL

It is important for siblings to know each other, because they will find each other one day.  My own daughters have a half brother and other siblings who claim to be genetically related but that's in question (their mum left my partner before they were conceived- but claims he fathered them just the same).

     hi lexiw, in response to your article you are absolutely correct. i am the mother of a daughter now 26 who never knew her half sister or brother. i was a single parent and always told my daughter the truth. her father was divorced and had two kids. we had a very casuall thing it just happened. i never went after him for support. i got married and my husband adopted my daughter when she was 6. when she was old enough she found her dad who treated her terrable. she then went on and found her sister on facebook and let me tellyou they are all adults now her half sister was ofcourse shocked at first but hey now email regular they use skype so they can see eachother and there children. her sister says you dont chose your parents. there mother was not happy to learn aboat my daughter at all even though she had been divorced however my daughter maintains a relationship with her sisrer and also once in awhile talks to her brother (by email) no matter what the outcome life is short your siblings have a right to know. especially the girl my daughters sister was very excited after she processed everything.things happen i dont judge your mom n anyway hey if it didnt happen you wouldnt be here. please keep me posted your story is important to me. alitle advise when my daughter finally told her sister she started pff by saying i dont want to change your life in anyway and i dont want to freak you out but i think you are my half sister. good luck playmate

Hey,my story is sort of familiar...am not sure what really happened with my folks...I met my dad in my teens and found out I have 3 half siblings,2 are older and 1 younger...I did contact 2 of them on fb and although its been months,,av never had the courage to say the truth...they still think am a stranger,even though there is a slight resemblance...ad love to get to know them but am scared that they will get hurt if they find out and it might mess up their family...my dad is pretty nonchallant...he ignores the subject if I bring it up and am scared my mum would probably get mad...so any suggestions anyone?thanks Lexi for sharing your story..

My story is very similiar. Here I sit on Father's Day wondering. My mom and dad had me married then divorced. That was 36 years ago. My father was only a part of my life for a while. I don't remember anything about him. Point of the story....He got remarried and had 3 children. My half brothers and sister. He never told them about me. I finally ran into him when I was 17 years old at a funeral my grandmother (his mother) introduced me to him and he turned around and left. That is the memory I have of him. He got back in contact with me thru letters when I went away to college. He told me all about my brothers and sister but told me they knew nothing about me and he wanted to change that. He is a coward and still to this day they do not know I exist. I found the one on facebook and saw a picture of her and she is a spitting image of me and I just cried. The last time my father wrote me he told me if I contact them that I would be ruining his life!  I told him they were old enough now and should know. However, I don't want to ruin anyones life I just want to know my family. I am an only child and it would be nice to have someone else in my life. I have tried to add her as a friend but she will not accept. I could just flat out tell her who I am but again I don't want to hurt anyone. It is not like our father had an affair....he was married to my mom and had a child! Any sugguestions.? Thanks in advance. This eats at me everyday. I think my dad is just mad because I have never met him or talked to him on the phone b/c I am scared. He promised he would never leave again but he really has because he doesn't email me anymore not even on my birthday.  Again, thanks Nadine

I got pregnant with my daughter when i was 22. although i had a boyfriend at he time he was a cop who worked the night shift and wold leave me at the bar to party knowing one of our "friends" would give me a  ride home. i ended up getting pregnant and was honest with my boyfrined and told him he may not be the father, he stayed with me through he pregnancy and right after my daughter was born we both knew right away he was not the  father. he and i both had blonde hair and blue eyes my daughter had brown hair ,brown eyes and a very distinctive  cleft i her chin jst  like terry the guy who was her father. he was divorced and had 2 kids my boyfriend ended our relationship. i raised my daughter on my own i lived at home with my parents and never persued terry for anything. i got married at 29 my daughyer was 6 my husband adopted her and we also have a son ryan. my daughter now 26 married with a two year old i always told her the truth and what little info i had . she started wanted to know and see her bioligical dad she unknwn to me went to see that years ago cop boyfriend i had who helped her locate where terry was . he denied he even knew me and acted cold to her. so i wnt with her to confirm it was indeed him and he was just as cold to me and wanted nothing to do wih my daughter i explained my husband adopted her when  she was 6 and she just wanted to know her family. she left and went into the  navy. so just recently she tried again to find her sister wich she did on facebook!!!!after a few emails they both relized it was the real thig and they are half sisters and there is a brother named michael. my daughters name is christine and dont you know so is her sisters!! some people think i have been obsesive talking about this but i have carried around guilt and shame for 26yrs watching my daughters pain especially after being treated so badly by this man. but there is a rainbow her and her half sister are building a great relationship i am not sure what her half brother thinks. her half siblings havent seen there dad in 16 yrs he stoped all contact with them and  has also treated them badly. it makes my heart filled with such love that my beutifull daughter has finally found tje missing pieces to her lifr she has been searching so long. any feed back or similar stories would be appreciated  playmate aka mary

Well yes a few months ago I would not have even been  putting a comment on this subject as this was not relevant to me.But as some of u might remember We recently found out that my husband of 15 yrs had a brief relationship with a woman just before he met me, which she became pregnant but was told he was not the father and up until a few months ago thought this was the case.At christmas time his parents received a phone call from a young 17 year old girl saying she wanted to ask about her father.When my husband was 1st contacted we were a wits end as to how to approach this situation ,so we sat the children down once we knew that his daughter wanted to get to know the family  and told them,they accepted it quite easily our youngest at 6 was a little confused at 1st but after many conversations about it ,he understands now.He did not want his daughter to think that he didn't care   and wanted her to know his side of the story .She was taken from her mother at 14 mnths and placed into the care of her grandparents ,which my husband is very grateful for  as her mother got involved in drugs and alcohal,He thought how unfair it would have been to her and our children just to ignore the situation and move on .They are glad they were able to get to know their half sister and she is coming down for 5 days next week for a b'day surprise for her dad , our children are all very excited she is coming.

So in situations like this it isn't just yourself you have to think about but your children too and what is best for all concerned.

Like ya know matey, I have been through this myself and you are right. You need to be as honest as possible to your children. I appreciate the situation some mothers find themselves in and there are times when I don't believe children need to know, not early in life anway, but the option for factual history and family is a must....

Great article Lexi and I'm sorry you are going through this...

Cheers

OB