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To smack or not to smack: Consistant discipline |
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by bron  (February 2007) (rank 382nd) |
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The old saying goes
"Spare the rod and spoil the child". I smacked all my kids and they behave themselves and have become responsible young people, but that was a while ago and times have changed. My eldest daughter does not smack and rarely raises her voice and
(I hate to say it) her kids are brats. They are rude and rarely use manners, they snatch things off her and get no punishment for it. I understand that it is her choice not to smack and I respect her decision. However, all kids need good consistent discipline, I find that if I look at her kids with a stern face and say calmly that Grandma will not do or get anything unless the kids say "please Grandma", I get good results. Sometimes a disapproving look can work just as well.
If you tell your child that if they continue with their bad behaviour that they will be punished (in whichever way you choose), and they continue...carry out the punishment. The punishment itself can entail exclusion from an event, time out, and does not necessarily have to be a smack. It all depends what works best for your child, and which method you have found works the best. However, if you make idle threats that you do not intend to carry out, the child only learns that they have 'gotten away with it' and their bad behaviour will not be punished.
Set realistic rules that everybody in the house must live by, and explain the consequences for breaking the rules. Obviously you will have to choose an appropriate disciplinary method dependant on the age of your child. If you do choose to smack your child, never smack when you're angry. After you have disciplined your child, wait a little while and then explain to them why their behaviour was not acceptable and why they were punished.
Whichever disciplinary method parents choose, all kids need to understand that bad behaviour will not be tolerated, and that the rules are there for their protection. Kids need to know where the boundaries are and that good behaviour is rewarded and bad behaviour is punished. We all have a responsibility as parents (and grandparents) to ensure that our kids know the difference between good and bad, so that they grow up to be responsible adults. Whether smacking or not smacking, it's discipline that is important and the key is to be consistant.
