When children are babies and toddlers it is not uncommon to find parents using the very common and accepted method of discipline commonly known as redirection, distraction, or removal from the situation. This tactic basically consists of taking the child from the situation or location that is contributing to her

misbehavior and moving her to a location or situation where she can either be redirected or distracted by an acceptable activity or where she can have time to cool down after an incident that has escalated out of her control. As children grow, however, and quickly bud into little people all their own this tactic often falls by the wayside, and unnecessarily so. Removal from a situation continues to be an effective and positive option in disciplining older children, and even better yet many times it proves a logical consequence - which in comparison with parent imposed discipline is much more effective and proves to lower tension both for and between the parent and child.

With just a few tweaks to the tried and true system to help it better fit an older child removal from the situation continues, to this day, to be the prefered method of discipline in our household, and is by far the most effective that we have employed over the years. Below are the ways in which we've tweaked the tactic to fit our needs, the positive effects it's use has had on our family, and some of the scenarios in which it can be used. I hope this is helpful to anyone who is looking for a constructive, non-physical form of discipline for their post-toddler years child.

Tweaks to the Tactic:

• Focus on cool down - With a baby or toddler the primary focus of this tactic is to distract him or her from what they were doing, because at that point in their lives "out of sight is out of mind", with an older child however out of sight is not out of mind. They remember what they were doing, what they wanted, and what was happening, and their feelings on the subject remain. So, rather than focusing on distraction through redirection you want to focus on a simple removal from the situation for the purpose of cooling your child down, whether it be behaviorally or emotionally. To do this you will want to find a standard place to designate for your child's cool down sessions, their bedroom is a favorite in our home, but any area that is quiet and can be temporarily private will work.
• Enable Self Policing -  When previously using this tactic with your child as an infant and toddler you were with him or her at all times, distracting him, but please note that it is important in choosing your area for use with an older child that it is child safe and friendly. Like the difference in approach between distraction and cool down the tactic will also have a new and different goal. To encourage responsibility, remove mom and/or dad from the "bad guy" role, and foster independence and a sense of pride. To do this you will be allowing your child to self-police during the cool down process. You will leave the room. So it's important that you can confidently do so knowing that your child will be safe while you are not with him for those few minutes.

Put The Tactic To Work

• When to use it? This tactic is, in my opinion, all but universal. It can be used to tame tantrums, curb overt rambunctiouness, solve power struggles, eliminate whining, nip non-listening in the bud, etc.
• How to use it? When a problem arises immediately address it in a calm, firm manner. Bend or squat to your child's level if applicable, and say something along the lines of; "I'm sorry, but you may not *insert behavior* because *insert reason here*, please go to your room to cool down (or for a break). When you are ready to *insert proper behavior here* you may come back out." or for a smaller child pick him/her up or take him/her by the hand and address the problem as you walk him to his room/area. Once they are there, you leave them alone. If the problem was one that has your child's emotions a little high she may cry, or yell, if they were simply being too rambunctious they may play in their room, etc. Any of this behavior - as long as it is not self or property damaging is acceptable. Remember this is their time to release their tension and build their self esteem in the process (Wow, mom! I can fix this!) When your child returns, in his/her own time do not mention the problem just greet him/her cheerfully and move on. There is no need to readdress and therefore resurface the issue.
• What if they return and repeat the behavior? That's ok, this takes practice, on both your part and theirs. Just calmly address them, "Uh oh, looks like you're not quite ready to *insert proper behavior here*. That's ok. Let's try cooling down (or taking a break) again, until you are." and put him back in his room. The first few times you use this tactic it may take a few tries to conquer, that's ok. Just put them back and stay consistent. Through practice your child will learn to assess himself and understand when he is and is not ready to come out of his room.  
• Are There Times When This Won't Work? YES! If the behavior is one that has a special lesson attached to it that your child cannot be made aware of in a short sentence you may need to accompany your child at first and explain the lesson to be learned, or if it is a situation that is warranting a strong emotional response from your child you will want to either address the issue in the beginning or have a talk with him or her afterwards to ensure all feelings have been resolved. Most childhood infractions can be dealt with using this method, but it's important to identify if you have an exception to make sure your child is fully aware of the reasons for the rules you instill and is emotionally sound and feels confident in being able to lean on you when needed.  

A Few Examples Of How To Address a Problem...

"You may not throw toys because someone may get hurt or something may get broken. Please go to your room for a break. When you are ready to play nicely with the toys you may come back out."

"I'm sorry but I cannot understand you when you whine, please use your big girl voice." *child whines again* "I can see that you're having a hard time using your big girl voice right now. That's ok, please go to your room to calm down and when you feel ready come back and talk to me again."

"Throwing food is not allowed because it is wasteful and not good manners, please go to your room and when you are ready to use your manners you may come back to the table."