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ADVICE RATING
 (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) (Highly recommend) 4.90 (Highly recommend) from 62 votes (1601 Visits)

Man That Is One Ugly baby

OzBinky by OzBinky Young Parent(February 2007) (rank 13th)

Children can be cruel sometimes with their taunting, name calling and sometimes honesty. It can also be caused by them echoing their parents - repeating what mum or dad has just said. So who is at fault? Mum, dad or child? If I had to point the finger I would be directing it towards the parents. Children listen closely to what their parents say and more often than not, when we think they’re not listening – or - when we think we are talking soft enough, in code enough for them not to hear or understand, they will surprise you and repeat, word to word, what you just said.  You can always count on the fact your children will understand the one thing you have taken careful consideration in translating it into something inaudible.

Today while I was out with my Mum, I had such an eventful day, I was standing in line at the checkout and overheard a woman tell her partner that the baby in the next line was the ugliest thing she’d ever seen. Her partner responded with, ‘how could you take that out in public?’ Standing along them was their little old boy, about 4 or 5 years of age, listening attentively to what they were saying. Looking over to the mother and child his parents were talking about he walked over to them and said; ‘man, that is one ugly baby’. Well, the look on this woman’s face would have broken even the hardest of hearts.

I don’t think anyone if that line knew what to say. The faces on each of us must have been enough of an idea what we were all thinking mind you and these parents looked as shocked as we did. Their reaction mind you shocked me more than the actual comment. The boy’s mother grabbed the child’s arm and dragged him away with a swift slap to the backside. The child was being punished for what his parents had said. My jaw dropped. I could not believe that this woman had done that. She didn’t explain to her son what he had said wrong nor did she consider the fact she was the one that incited this comment in the first place.

What do parents expect from their children? Gone are the days when children were seen and not heard and gone are the days when children only spoke when they were spoken to.

If you don’t want something repeated then don’t say it in front of your children or don’t say it at all. It is not up to them to consider what is and is not acceptable to repeat and nor do they have this ability at this age, well most don’t anyway. If you don’t want to raise a rude and obnoxious child, do not behave in this manner as your children will ape not just the good things about you -but also the bad.

If you do say something that is repeated by your little one, don’t just go off at them and reprimand him or her, explain what they said was wrong; tell them that you had no right in saying it and admit that you were in the wrong, that you were out of line and that you do not want them to be like that. Explain how these comments can hurt the feelings of others and apologise to the other person who was offended in the first place.

Children are not scapegoats and should not be used as such. Be accountable for your own actions and don’t allow your child to take the blame for your own thoughtlessness.

Cheers

OB

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jmrtmumstheword
July 27th | jmrtmumstheword
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

this article couldn't be more truthful if you tried, i swear alot and my girls are around some of the time and happen to hear me say these things and now my 3rd daughter has started to parrot me also

i didnt realise how much i swore until she started, maybe i deserve the kick up the butt lol

great advice OB



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greenmints
July 25th | greenmints
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

Great article!!



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anon
July 4th | anon
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

Great article, I didn't realise how much I swore until Anthony repeated it one day. The first time was funny then realisation hit home and immediately I changed the way I spoke and what I said. I didn't want my son growing up being rude abnoxious and a potty mouth. Our little parrots, as much as we love 'em they will always repeat things at the most inoppertune time.

Once again great work. xx.



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Jacqui
June 18th | Jacqui
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

 Great article. 



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nabutters
June 18th | nabutters
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

children learn from us for sure,we need to guide them in the best posible way...they are mini me's!!!! great article, well written..



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cassaustin
June 4th | cassaustin
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

Great article! I am not at the repeating stage yet, but i have recently become very aware of how much i swear and the way i say things. I am trying to curb what i say when he is around and also trying to keep everything positive. I realise that he is listening and learning everything from me and i dont want a negative, nasty or rude child. Hopefully i will be able to teach my little man how to be a lovely, warm-hearted young man.



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DarkenedAngel
June 4th | DarkenedAngel
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

The only thing I can ever remember blaming my kids for when I was the guilty one was an accidental stinky fart in a checkout line: OMG that nappy smells aweful! ROFL Mind you, some kids do just come out with stuff all on their own, but punishing a child for repeating your own words, that's just wrong on so many levels.



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Arna
March 16th | Arna
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

It is upto us to teach our children how to be sensitive and what is appropriate to be said.  If I had of been there, I would have gone right of at the mother for punishing her child for what she herself had said.  Being sensitive to all parents is important as the job we have is the hardest in the world.

Great article OB, as usual!



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llmunchkin
March 5th | llmunchkin
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

I am with you 110% on this one OB.  Whenever I hear kids say that sort of thing, I am thinking, what the heck goes on with your parents?!  Sure there are little slip ups, the odd naughty word or whatever, however the topic you have brought up is far too common place.  Good on you for writing about it.



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Frontier
March 5th | Frontier
Re: Man That Is One Ugly baby

Our Youngest was born with Craniosynotosis and has what he calls an "oval head". After many visits to the Childrens Hospital and a skull reconstruction at 6 months old we have developed a real understanding of how insensitive people can be. N is now in prep and even in kindy other children would make comments to each other about him not knowing you were the parent. Some of the things they say are from an adults vocab so we don't blame the children as they are not born with tact. we hope their parents can at least teach them that.

Great article.



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ElaineH1
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | ElaineH1
ugly babies
A fantastic piece of writing. It is beyond belief that people can be so cruel. I really hope that these so called parents have learned the error of their ways


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i2cute4words
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | i2cute4words
ugly babies
no matter how unattractive a child or baby is, they're all beautiful when they smile so spread the cheer and make them smile, laugh and giggle :)


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mandymum3
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | mandymum3
I thought this may also be appropriate.
          If children live with criticism,
               They learn to condemn.
          If children live with hostility,
               They learn to fight.
          If children live with ridicule,
               They learn to be shy.
          If children live with shame,
               They learn to feel guilty.
          If children live with encouragement,
               They learn confidence.
          If children live with tolerance,
               They learn to be patient.
          If children live with praise,
               They learn to appreciate.
          If children live with acceptance,
               They learn to love.
          If children live with approval,
               They learn to like themselves.
          If children live with honesty,
               They learn truthfulness.
          If children live with security,
               They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
          If children live with friendliness,
               They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.


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      kiarasmom2005
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | kiarasmom2005
I thought this may also be appropriate.

That is one of my favorite written things. I think that these are very important rules for PARENTS to live by!!

 



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mandymum3
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | mandymum3
OMG
That is so mean, my heart goes out to that poor lady. Maybe those crewl people should be reminded of the ugly duckling.


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      kiarasmom2005
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | kiarasmom2005
OMG

I think to someone shoulda walked up to the parents and smacked their butt!! hehehe

 



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cheleinkal
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | cheleinkal
OH MY GOD'S
I can't believe people in this day and age with all the education available and all the "P.C" crap we put up with in the '90's that there are still so many ignorant and pathetic bottom dwellers out there.   Surely evolution in all it's glory would have bred them out by now instead of allowing them to breed more.........................must be the hole in the ozone.

I hope someone gave the poor woman with the baby a hug & that that ill-bred family was given a warning on how to behave in the store..................if they had run around naked they would have been punished for offensive & lewd behavior....why do the hurtful things that come out of a person's mouth go unpunished when they can be even MORE lewd & offensive and leave possibly a longer hurt and scar to heal.

Thise people were uglier on the inside than a baby ever could be and they are raising an even internally uglier child....one who not only copies his parents line of thought (not his fault), but then is punished for it is going to be lucky not to grow up twisted.


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Jillofalltrades
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | Jillofalltrades
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Oh that poor lady with the baby she must have been absolutely devestated.  

I can never understand why some people need to be so cruel as to voice such derogatory opinions like that in public.  Least they could have done was waited until they got to the car and then discussed it between themselves.   There is a time and a place for such things and they certainly don't sound like they have any concept of this.

You did very well not to say something to the parents of the little boy - I might have had I seen them smack their child for something they said.  

Well done for this bit of advice Lavinia xxxxxxx



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monyq83
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | monyq83
Great advice
I hate hearing people say that babies are ugly. Imagine if it was theirs! Im sure theyd hate to hear someone call it ugly.


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emmysmum
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | emmysmum
Well said
You know Lavinia, you are very wise. I like the content of your articles, they are all of top quality.
But i must say, no matter how ugly a baby may be, there is always something beautiful about the baby! All babies are beautiful in one way or another!


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lucky321
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | lucky321
little ears

 so well put  ,our children learn from us .To me all babies are beautyful  no matter what



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HOTMAMA
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | HOTMAMA
ears!

I have a saying I often heard when I was a child, and I use it now OFTEN! 
Little pitchers pour lots of water!   Every parent knows that this is true.  And I also was told as a child if you say a baby is ugly you will be cursed with ugly babies.....but that of course never pertained to any child I have ever seen I think all babies are beautifull.....Its more than looks it is in the innocence of their big gummy smiles.  The people who said that are just mean spirited, unhappy people period.  My heart goes out to their son to have to be raised by uncaring parents!



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mummy2girls
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | mummy2girls
people are cruel

i can't believe that a person could be so verbally cruel towards a child and then have the cheek to blame their own child!!  as parents we should set an example, and a good one at that!!  children listen to their parents, it's in their nature they look to adults for guidance, and follow the lead we give them, whether that be good or bad!

as a nurse working with the disabled i have come across similar circumstances, very often arising from a lack of understanding.  for example, people very often talk to the person assisting and not the person in the wheelchair. i have had to bite my tongue many times, but in the circumstance you described i'm sure i would have found it extremely difficult.



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MummaBear
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | MummaBear
That is so true
My daughter listens even when I don't think she's listening.  I told my friend on the phone one afternoon that we'll be over on saturday for coffee. I was in the lounge room talking softly, she was in her room at the other end of the house. She came out asking if we were taking muffins like we did last time. How did she hear? Who knows, she just did. How did she know who I was talking to? Probably by listening to every other thing I'd said on the phone! Although it wasn't anything bad, it really drove home that my child is always taking things in and listening. She is still learning about the world around her, and this is how children learn. They watch their parents, they take in everything that's said to them, near them, or not so close to them.  Good article, we do need to watch what's said in front of children and take responsibility for our words when they say them at an inappropriate time.


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hermy
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | hermy
ugly baby
that is so well said! more parents should be made aware of this.......
all children are beautiful in their parents eyes how very hurt they must have felt......


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Raine
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | Raine
Yep... sometimes we do say to much in front of the kids don't we
Well said - Brings back some memories...

I remember when my son was young. Every time he went to his Nannas house he would be constantly be asking for food from the moment he was inside the front door. My ex said it looked as if we starved him & made a big song & dance about his parents being on a pension & not having a lot of money... (blah, blah)... He told the lad he was NOT to ask for anything the next time he went there.

My boy remembered his fathers warning... Having arrived for his next visit he looked his Nan right in the eyes & said...'Dad says even though I'm starving to death I'm not to ask you for any food because you haven't got much. So... what are you going to offer me?'
I gotta admit, the boy was cluey!


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      pcgames
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | pcgames
Yep... sometimes we do say to much in front of the kids don't we
hat is so beautiful , funny enough all my kids won't eat before they go to their nans as SHE COOKS BETTER STUFF THAN MUM> after all who taught us to cook .


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nell18-3
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | nell18-3
Excellent
Well done OB
Good reminder to us all that children have the knack of not hearing what you want them to hear but always hearing the things you didn't want them to hear
That poor little boy
xxx


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metrozing
5.00 (Excellent) | February 2007 | metrozing
ugly baby
Two more things to add to the "What Not To Say" category:

Are you pregnant?

Are you older than your husband?



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