ADVICE RATING |
 4.90 (Highly recommend) from 62 votes (1601 Visits) |
Children can be cruel sometimes with their taunting, name calling and sometimes honesty. It can also be caused by them echoing their parents - repeating what mum or dad has just said. So who is at fault? Mum, dad or child? If I had to point the finger I would 
be directing it towards the parents. Children listen closely to what their parents say and more often than not, when we think they’re not listening – or - when we think we are talking soft enough, in code enough for them not to hear or understand, they will surprise you and repeat, word to word, what you just said. You can always count on the fact your children will understand the one thing you have taken careful consideration in translating it into something inaudible.
Today while I was out with my Mum, I had such an eventful day, I was standing in line at the checkout and overheard a woman tell her partner that the baby in the next line was the ugliest thing she’d ever seen. Her partner responded with, ‘how could you take that out in public?’ Standing along them was their little old boy, about 4 or 5 years of age, listening attentively to what they were saying. Looking over to the mother and child his parents were talking about he walked over to them and said; ‘man, that is one ugly baby’. Well, the look on this woman’s face would have broken even the hardest of hearts.
I don’t think anyone if that line knew what to say. The faces on each of us must have been enough of an idea what we were all thinking mind you and these parents looked as shocked as we did. Their reaction mind you shocked me more than the actual comment. The boy’s mother grabbed the child’s arm and dragged him away with a swift slap to the backside. The child was being punished for what his parents had said. My jaw dropped. I could not believe that this woman had done that. She didn’t explain to her son what he had said wrong nor did she consider the fact she was the one that incited this comment in the first place.
What do parents expect from their children? Gone are the days when children were seen and not heard and gone are the days when children only spoke when they were spoken to.
If you don’t want something repeated then don’t say it in front of your children or don’t say it at all. It is not up to them to consider what is and is not acceptable to repeat and nor do they have this ability at this age, well most don’t anyway. If you don’t want to raise a rude and obnoxious child, do not behave in this manner as your children will ape not just the good things about you -but also the bad.
If you do say something that is repeated by your little one, don’t just go off at them and reprimand him or her, explain what they said was wrong; tell them that you had no right in saying it and admit that you were in the wrong, that you were out of line and that you do not want them to be like that. Explain how these comments can hurt the feelings of others and apologise to the other person who was offended in the first place.
Children are not scapegoats and should not be used as such. Be accountable for your own actions and don’t allow your child to take the blame for your own thoughtlessness.
Cheers
OB
(February 2007) (
