You should definately be alerting the authorities immediately but picking up the son and withholding him from his mother (regardless of whether it is an abusive situation) could be considered kidnapping.  Be careful with your actions in this situation - you don't want to include yourself and your family with their mess.  Call child protective services, call the police every chance you can get.  The system has failed before but it's important to trust it before taking the law into your own hands - for your own good.  No one will be there to protect that child or look out for his best interests if you get sent to jail or have criminal actions filed against you.

Well done to you for helping one child in this world that needed it. There are so many children out there in abusive homes that people don't even try to help. They just look away. This is very sad. CONGRATULATIONS!! There should be more people like you out there trying to protect the children who will be our future one day. Cherine.

after rereading the article and some of the other comments left in this thread i am truly sorry if i have offended or hurt you in any way... wendigo is right you have named no names and you did offer to help the mother so i am sorry that i accused you of those things... minti is a place for advice and help and if that help comes in the form of a personal experience then so shall it be... once again i am trully sorry and i hope that you can forgive at least one of the silly protesters on this thread... :)'s for you for being the hero

This thread is completely out of hand. All lexi did was write about her experience in the hope that it would inspire someone else who has witnessed child abuse to report it. I don't know if the "people" who keep giving her grief on it are the same person or not, but this has got to stop! It's a great article.
And clover... sending your kid to their room is not abuse. Neither is giving them a time out, grounding them from going out with their friends, or from the computer or the phone or whatever. Giving them 2 black eyes is abuse, and there is nothing that any kid could do that woud warrent getting the crap beat out of them!
Children need to be given the necessities of life: proper food, proper shelter, proper clothing and education, and a safe place to call home, where they don't get beat. That is it.

well im not porky, sorry i wish i had the courage of the pig.

 did it occur to lexiw that the child is at home now does she expect that

she will see him again to do any thing about the abuse ?

i think that we are all allowed our own opinion ,i thought thats what this site was all about????

how many of you send your chlid too there room ???'' thats abuse to ''

one more question what did this child do, to make the parents mad enough to use phisical abuse?

if you can answer my questions please do

clover

It happens, unfortunately, and I'm not going to go pointing any fingers here.  What I will say is that Lexi has written an excellent advice article that pertains to a personal situation.  She has not given any names or contact details, and as such has maintained the confidentiality of everyone involved.  Whether or not this story is completely true is not the important part as it is the message that the advice is sending is the important.

Accusing someone of telling lies about a personal experience is outrageous, public slander (which this is not) is the only valid exception.  If it was a case of public slander, it would be a reportable offence and should be reported, not commented on.

In this advice, Lexi expressed her disapproval of the mother's actions but did not directly degrade her as a person.  She also expressed a wish to get the mother the help required to better care for her son so that no further instances of abuse would occur. This would benefit everyone concerned, and is in favour of the mother and child having a safe and happy relationship.  There is no problem with anything that Lexi has written here.

For people to place derogatory comments, unwarrented accusations, and to behave in a negative manner is against the grain of what Minti is about.  Minti is about friendship, support, and a helping hand to those in need. It is acceptable to disagree with something that has been written, but such instances should attract constructive critism and healthy debate. If any member can not respect this and comment appropriately, then this is probably not the place for them to be.

We can not dictate to each other how we parent our children - after all, we don't like others doing it to us, and it's not our place to do it to anyone else. What works for one family may not work for another.  We need to keep this in mind and be respectful of each other in that regards. We can give advice, we can accept advice, we can ignore advice.  We should not sit by and do nothing whilst someone, anyone, suffers in any way, but we can't force anyone to do something about it.  Encouragement and diplomacy is the key.  Nagging and harassment will only turn the person further from the path you would prefer them to take.

Please, treat each other in an appropriate and respectful manner and have a nice day.

firstly thankyou for being the noble one who could save this child, there should be more people like you in this world... secondly, having said that, i'd be inclined to agree with some of the other posts on this article about the need for the mother to have some help too in dealing with her grief. also about the privacy issue, i feel that in telling the minti comunity about this story you have perhaps forgotten about the respect of the boy and his mothers privacy... i know that you havn't given any names but this is still a public arena and just as a profesional counciler dealing with these types of situations would be obliged not to tell anyone, i believe the honerable thing to do as a friend would be to give these victims of abuse the same courtsy... just a thought... still kudos for you frum becca.

I wish there had been someone like you in my life when I was growing up. My parents were great but had no idea that my best friend's parents were the leaders of a Satanic cult. They regularly involved me in ritual abuse and I couldn't tell anyone about it. It's only now, over 20 years later that I'm finally getting help.

We need more Lexis in the world. Love and hugs to you always.

Ps

the counsellor that called this kid a lost cause...... did the boy here this comment?? I guess if that is what all you people keep teaching him he is well there is your answer

Does this boy have a sport that he enjoys? How about some form of cadets? There are all different kinds of things that this boy can do in order to vent his anger, and maybe he will find someone in those kinds of places that was meant to cross his path and teach him about life. If this boy is constantly hearing about how bad he is, then bad is what he is going to be. If everyone is saying they can't deal with him, then how is he going to learn to deal with himself? And if people are angry around him all the time then what do you think that this boy is going to be? Angry. Children learn what they live. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. His family may appear to be peaceful people to you, but behind closed doors (when he was smaller and when it really counted) they could have been tyrants. It could have been someone else that taught him, maybe not mom. It could be grama or grampa or auntie or daddy. you never know.

children learn what they live. They live in peace, they will have contentment. They live in criticism they will have self hatred. They live in anger, and they will have anger.

It is not easy to summon up the courage to confront this type of issue, as many of us would act on emotion. I would have felt compelled too to do something, it would be too hard for me to sit back and allow the child back into the home without saying something. When it is not your own family, you are taking the word of the child and the mother etc, but gut instincts naturally would tell us there is something wrong here...

You did the right thing, ALL suspected abuse SHOULD be reported, even if it means that whoever in authority looks into it. Yes, there is not always an outcome that removes the child to a safer place, but at least it is on RECORD, should anyone else report it again. Keep fighting for what you know is right Lexi.

Hang in there girl.

Love CindyB.

Parents have the power. I don't know about u but I have an instinct and over whelming sense in me when I feel my child needs to be protected (example a bigger kid pushes my 15 month old). It is a feeling that I think many parents can understand. I think that if some guy I was dating was hitting on my kid or anyone else for that matter, I would do WHATEVER it took to protect my child. That is a copout and an excuse, there are police that can come and help calm down your child (trust me a visit from the cop will calm them down real quick). There are people out there that can help. they are called counsellors, doctors, friends, family.  If this kid had someone to talk to that they could trust, and alot of love and patience, he would be able to cope with the things he has gone through. I am disgusted at the fact that you are making excuses and not even trying to help that kid or help the mother if need be so that she can learn the tools to help him and herself. NO man of mine would be hittin my kid and not having any consequences.

Lex, I am a new user to this site, and I understand your stand point. I went through a very similar situation that you did and I give the most upmost solute to you. I had a step daughter (who turned out not to be my husbands at all DNA test) and I can't tell you what didn't happen to this little girl. At nine years old she could tell you every drug there was, she had been molested (which btw saying that does not mean that lex even implied that it was a family member), she had been hit, she had lice for over 7 months which i got and ended up having to shave both of our heads. I also had to call the authorities because her mother left her in a hotel room with two teenage girls she barely knew to go see a guy she met on the computer.I ended up having to tell her that who she thought was her daddy was not. I felt it was my responsibility to tell her the truth and get the authorities to help this child because the one person in the world who she needed to trust and take care of her was out galavanting and doing illegal things instead of taking care of the 2 out of 5 kids she had left. I understand the thoughts and feelings that you must have been having lex because I have been there too. It broke my heart and I still think of the little girl (who btw is back with her mother now and is has dissappeared). The little girl had been in stolen cars, and trust me the list goes on and on. This little girl had MAJOR behaviour problems which is completely to be expected. Which any GOOD parent would know that children at age 12 or 9 or 16 or whatever, are not built with coping skills. We as parents are supposed to teach them. Porky this is to u: no matter how much of a S@#$%^ disturber a child is, there is a reason for it and there is NO reason that a child who cannot physically stand up for themselves should ever be attacked in any which way by an adult. If their parents ARE NOT being parents and HELPING their child or children then it is time for someone to step in.

Hats off to you lex

I have never said that i was in the room and wittnessed this and i am NOT the boys mother. The mother of this child how ever is the woman who has endlessly helped lexiw when she has had problems with her own children. Lexiw knows she is  not telling the whole truth and that there is only so much a parent can do to stop her son smashing the house and possibly the mother with out using force.The mother has tried for years to get help from various agencies and departments and they have ALL done nothing BECAUSE THE CHILD IS NOT IN ANY DANGER. So before you pass judgement , question just how well you all know lexiw. I have known both lexiw and the mother in question for years and this is typicle and not out of characture for her to make a mountain out of a mole hill.

I know how hard that would have been...

Good on you matey....

Cheers

OB xox

Hi Lexi,

What you have done for this boy is a truly wonderful thing and you derserve to be acknowledged for it.

Sadly there are more ppl that would choose to ignore this situation as use the excuse "its none our buisiness". WELL thats wrong.

Every child is everybody's buisiness . . .  Thank Lexi for reminding us all and thankyou for telling your story.

Cheers Alana