Everywhere you look there is someone demanding attention. The desire for attention is universal in all people, regardless of age, color, language, culture, etc. ..... As adults we want our bosses to notice us, our spouses to talk to us....... We need to feel important and heard.... In the same ways our own children demand our attention.. ....Children seek attention in positive and useful ways; but if they can't get it that way, they will seek attention in negative and useless ways.

My son is a kid who likes attention but its not usually for the good behaviours......... he likes to be looked at, yelled at, cried to, He likes to be the centre of my world...... An example......Master 5 loves the fact that his cut wrist gets kids to be in awe of him and that adults have fussed over him when they learned what did to himself... Its hard to live with a child who craves the attention one minute and is anxious and introverted the next...

Being an attention seeker myself (alas yes its true) i too like nothing more than to be in the spotlight but i usually make sure that its for accomplishments.... (my 2 yr old takes after me and can often be seen walking a catwalk in the food hall at the local mall or dancing in the school grounds ....all eyes oh her.. )What is it they say..... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.......

When you are looking at the apple analogy........think of it as green granny smiths and  red delicious...both types are apples but they have different uses and taste fairly different too .... In the same way there are two types of attention seeking behaviours which most children (and alas a few adults even try these)  will use ... These are the notice me behaviours (or granny smiths)  or help me behaviours....(red delicious)

In the notice me behaviours you may be faced with eating problems, showing off, acting the clown, interrupting, whining, etc.....These are actions that you as the parent find hard to ignore.....and thus they do get a lot of your attention.... My son is very good at mucking up at the table when we eat... He will play with his food, not eat, make me feed him ,basically drive me crazy as i sit there trying to get food in to him..and he loves the fact that i put all my energy into him

In the help me behaviours you may see laziness, untidiness, forgetfulness, pretending to be incompetent,etc ...Kids use these actions to make parents stay busy with them....Master 5 is very good at the forgetfulness one especially when faced with cleaning his room.....

Okay so  you know the behaviour but But how do u know if your little one is an attention seeker ? ...

Take the time to ask yourself  Are you irritated or annoyed with the behaviour.... well then its probably all for attention..

Will the behaviour stop if you ignore it? if it needs you watching  to continue then its probably all for attention.....

If You have a attention seeker in your midst how do you deal with it........

• The only way to stop negative attention seeking behaviour  is to IGNORE: IGNORE: IGNORE

• Make sure you take time to give your child positive attention..... If you don't give them this they will go to the next best thing ~ which is the negative ... ......   I often spend so much time arguing and getting angry with master 5 its easy to forget to find time to encourage, talk with, and praise,spend time with them etc
  

• Catch them out being good.... again ignore the bad and make a big thing of the good

• Make sure to give One-on-one time with each child in your family.....Maybe your special one feels neglected or un- important

• Help your child see that the world and family doesn't revolve around them

An Attention Seeking child is using the best way they know how  to let you know they need more attention. They may  may not have a sense of belonging.They may have a low self-esteem and may need some confidence building. Sometimes the child is simply immature. (i know a lot of adults who feel this way too...LOL )  

An interesting point to leave you with  is that In America the average parent spends a maximum of 7 minutes with their child one on one per day...... so maybe  Our children are really trying to tell us something....

I know i need to spend more time with my children praising their good behaviour and not concentrating on the bad  ...

What about you?

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