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Parenting Skills - Turning Your School Bully into a Child with Character

JeanTracy by JeanTracy Talking Back(February 2007) (rank 44th)
Is your child attracted to TV clips of kids gone wild, violent movies, and video games? Is your child bullying other kids and loving it? Why not turn your school bully into a child with character?

 If you're worried about your child's aggressive behavior, stop the worry. Start problem solving. You weren't born knowing how to deal with bullies. You were born with an intellect and so was your child. Using both intellects will help you help your child.

 3 parental control tips for dealing with bullies:

Turn off the violent video games.
Turn off violent cartoons and programs.
Turn on your computer's parental controls.

Stop violent images from encouraging your child to think aggressively. You'll be protecting your child from the harmful pictures he likes to imitate.

 Get your aggressive child to be a thinker instead of bully:

Consider this true story. Joey's mother worried about his being a bully. One day his mother asked him,

"What happens to bullies at school?"
"They have to put their heads on their desks or go to the principal," he replied.
"Have you ever had to do either one?" she asked.
"No," he answered. "It's just not worth it."

To help your child become a thinker like Joey, start when he's young. Be consistent with discipline and discuss childhood dilemmas that teach him to think and build character too.

 A sample dilemma to discuss with your school bully:

If two of your friends are punching a younger kid for laughing at them, would you punch him too? Why? Why not?

 3 parenting questions to ask while discussing dilemmas:

If every kid in your class bullied you, would you like school? Why? Why not?
If all your classmates were bullies, how much would you learn?
If being a tough guy was all you learned, how might your life turn out?

Training your child's intellect to understand the results of his aggressive behavior is not that difficult. Parental control doesn't mean being ruthless. Dilemma discussions can help you and your child use reason instead.

 Effective parenting skills for discussing dilemmas:

Listen to your child's reasoning.
Avoid jumping in with criticism.
Get your child to think by asking more questions.
Help your child see the victim's side.
Privately ask yourself, "What is the best way to help my child?"

What your child tells you is important. Take that information and answer question number 5. Let your intellect be your guide. You'll be helping your school bully turn into a thoughtful child and you'll be building character too.

Subscribe to Jean Tracy's Free Parenting Newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.

Treat your family to the Dilemma Discussion Kit with 51 dilemmas to stimulate family discussions and build character in your kids at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com
Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.

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The-Single-Parent-Bible
May 26th | The-Single-Parent-Bible
Re: Parenting Skills - Turning Your School Bully into a Child with Character

I agree.  Thanks for sharing.



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Arna
July 2007 | Arna
Thank You
I am going to do my best to follow the advice you and every one else has given me.  Please keep it coming!Arna


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      JeanTracy
July 2007 | JeanTracy
Re: Thank You

You're welcome, Arna. Did you just sign up for my free parenting newsletter? If so, I hope you like it and look forward to your opinions.

Warmly,

Jean



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angieh
July 2007 | angieh
Re: Parenting Skills - Turning Your School Bully into a Child with Character
Those are some great ideas. I think it's always good to try and do this at the earliest sign of bullying before it gets out of control!


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      lunaeclips5
July 2007 | lunaeclips5
Re: Parenting Skills - Turning Your School Bully into a Child with Character
Because once they know they can get away with it they never stop!!! I was bullied from grade 2 threw till grade six my mum sent me to a different  high school to the rest of the kids so as to stop it..I still have difficultys getting to close to people, because i'm affraid to get hurt..i hold this fear in me because i cant fully trust anyone..I also learent how to stand up for myself..I never told my parents exactly what happened at school because they would tell the teacher and the teacher would stand me up like a dunce in front of the whole class and ask who has been doing it to me..Nobody would answer, then they wouldnt believe me so i would point them out and then i'd get bashed for lagging, appart from publicly humiliated :)


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           JeanTracy
July 2007 | JeanTracy
Re: Parenting Skills - Turning Your School Bully into a Child with Character

Dear Lunaeclips5,

I'm sorry that you were bullied so badly as a child. Sometimes childhood pain is hard to shake. Just remember, you're every bit as important as anyone else on this planet and your thoughts and ideas can be helpful to others.

Warmly,

Jean



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      JeanTracy
July 2007 | JeanTracy
Re: Parenting Skills - Turning Your School Bully into a Child with Character

Thank you, Angieh, for your comments. I certainly agree with you.

Warmly,

Jean



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