IDSR - I can listen!

Well,this is a new one on me, so I am gonna give it a bash.  I read tracey's blog post IDSR.  A new positive parenting game idea for those who blog.  So I thought i would give it a go.  Often I feel like i get it all wrong because I am a single mum and have to play good cop bad cop all the time, so things that i would love to discipline or come down hard on are passed over for the things that are more important. 

Often I get it wrong, and naturally that gets me down cuz i fear my lovely girl may turn out a monster.  And when we have days like these past two days - oh man!  Where has my good lil girl gone?  Ok.  She is bored and fed up of mummy being too tired to take her to the park each day as we used to before i got tired, so now when I sleep she slightly does a few things wrong.  

Then when I read this blog of Traceys I realised that this is just what I need.  I need to recognise the achievements and the good times and that the bad times are just learning curves, not 'scary bad omens' for the future. 

So TMM wrote this the other day to me: (you can find the full post here)
"I cannot give you enough praise for being such a present and aware parent.  You clearly make connecting with your daughter a priority as evidenced by her telling you when you guys need to talk.  Way to go!!!!!  I'm sure that your availability and willingness to discuss her concerns during this difficult situation with her dad are extremely comforting and make her feel safe and loved.  Keep up the fantastic work!  You are doing a FANTASTIC job!!!!   Your love and commitment to her is quite clear in your comments, articles and blog as is your desire to constantly be a better parent.  A good parent is one who recognizes there are things they could do better and strives to find ways to improve.  Parenting is a process that is as different for each of us as the personalities of our children.  Not to mention that you are doing it on your own!  You need to give yourself a HUGE pat on the back...I know I do!"

Thank you for writing it to me.  ♥hugs♥ 

So what do I do well as a parent?  I talk to my daughter.  I listen to what she says.  I explain to her when she does something wrong why it was wrong, or if it is something good why especially it is good and remarkable.

1. How do I listen:  I pay attention to what my daughter is saying to me.  I actually stop what I am doing and remove myself from it. 
   
2. What to do to make it easier to listen:  Stop for a while, take some time out.  Bedtime is a great time to bond and have some listening time.  Family meetings, family quality time, mealtimes are all great examples of times that are everyday and convienent.
   
3. Why should we listen:  we can pick up on so much that is going on when we just stop all our busyness and take some time to listen.  I also believe that when we stop and pay attention our children are more secure and open with us and know that we will support and love them regardless of what is going on. 
   

Thanks Tracey for this idea.  I am really looking forward to seeing what others manage to turn out as well!!!

Peace
EF.x