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4.89 (Highly recommend) from 50 votes (3113 Visits)

Toddler Behaviour

Anonymous Author (February 2007)

Here are 12 ways to positively encourage good behavious from toddlers.

Children of any age will copy what you do. So be careful what you do when they are watching and even when you think they are not. They will pick up good and bad habits
from you so always keep this in mind.
Never make a promise you are not going to keep. For example one day I told the boys they could play outside the next day. Well the next day it was raining. This is upsetting for them and they dont understand that its raining all they know is that you told them they could and now your saying no.
Always get down to their eye level. Not only are they more likely to listen when you are looking them square in the eyes you are less intimidating when your not towering over them.
Listen and pay attention to them. This shows that they are important and you care about their feelings and thoughts.
Be on the look out for good behaviour. Praise when you see it. Its very important that they get good feedback and not just bd all the time. Its a lot easier to miss the good behaviour and focus on the negative and its something that has to be constantly running through your mind.
Pick your battles. It is worth an argument and tantrum? Ask yourself is it really that important? Are they hurting anyone or anything? Does it really matter?
When telling them to do something keep it simple and give clear instructions. Instead of asking them to clean the room, get them to do individual tasks. Pick up the books, then when that is done get them to move onto the next task like picking up the cars. This way they wont feel overwhelmed and will be more likely to go along with it tantrum free.
Make sure they realise that for every action there is a consequence. If they throw the toys around, they will have to pick them up. If they hit someone, they will have to sit in the corner. If they throw their dinner on the floor it will have to go in the bin.
Do not threaten them with something you dont want to follow through with. They will soon see that mummy/daddy doesnt mean it and will ignore your lectures.
Be humerous. This will quickly make a tense and bad situation dissolve away. Be a scary tickle monster coming to tickle the worries away. Remember if your both laughing this is great. Do NOT tease and joke at their expence. This will lead to problems later on.
Make them feel important. They love to feel like they are contributing which is why most toddlers love simple chores like putting the dishes in the sink, putting rubish in the bin and helping you with the clothes.
Explain their feelings. Jaidan gets frustrated easy and he would get annoyed that he couldnt put a block together so he would throw it across the room. This is when I would step in and say "you feel frustrated and angry that you couldnt put the block together" By putting their feelings into words you are helping them understand that its ok to feel like this and will help them down the track when they want to tell YOU how THEY feel.

Here are a few tips on handling toddlers.

By saying no all the time you are stopping a toddlers natural curiosity. They are curious about the world around them and like to experiment. Instead of saying no why not try another way to divert the behaviour you dont like.
Say hes chewing on your $200 pair of heals. Instead of getting upset just swap it for a toy that is ok to chew on and just as tasty. This is distraction.
Allow your child to explore. Make situations where is it ok to touch and do things without saying no all the time. So it may not be ok to make a painting out of dinner but tell them they can paint with the finger paints after they have eaten. And remove things that you dont want them touching. I found i was telling the boys 100 times a day not to touch the DVD's so i moved them. That is 100 less NO's in a day.
Toddlers love their independence. At this age they like to have a say in what goes on. So offer 2 choices. Pick out 2 outfits then let your child pick which one they want to wear. If your toilet training ask them would they like to use the toilet or the potty. This way your not only getting what you want they see it as their choice and your both happy.
Change the environment they are in. If your cooking and they want to help dont let them near the hot stuff, instead a wooden sppon and pot to bang on should amuse. Or what about some tupperware containers.
Let your child know how you feel. If they are doing something that is not nice like name calling use the "I dont like it when you ___ because ___". Same with violence. "I dont like it when you hit me because it hurts me and makes me sad" This will show them empathy and they will also learn how to handle it when it happens to them.
DO NOT reward bad behaviour. By giving them attention in ignorable situations you are rewarding them. If they are doing something you dont like instead of yelling and telling them off just walk away. Put them down and leave the room. (this is only if you dont use another form of punishment like the corner and only in ignorable situations)
Explain the behaviour and why it is bad. This helps them to understand their impact on the world and the consequences of things they do.
Toddlers find it hard to move from one activity to another. Some patience and planning can help them manage transitions better.

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ADVICE RATING

4.89 (Highly recommend) from 50 votes

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	October 28th \| ajv00

Re: Toddler Behaviour

Very good article, I went to a lecture about toddler taming and this is basically what was said. I put this to practice and it does work/help.

Well done

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	October 28th \| Haydensmommy24

Re: Toddler Behaviour

I totally agree...although it's not always easy.

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	October 2nd \| trempnvt

Re: Toddler Behaviour

Great advice here.

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	September 23rd \| mumof3boys

Re: Toddler Behaviour

Great article. Some really useful advice here. Well done.

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	August 26th \| sandra106

Re: Toddler Behaviour

Great article and advice that you have written loads of information.

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	October 2007 \| FremantleDocker

Re: Toddler Behaviour

awesome article. Great tips there. Will take a few on board.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| March 2007 \| urshy

Oh Dear.. Adults have Naughty Corners To!!!!

Gr8 advice Mel. Another concept that I was thinking about, when I got snooty with little miss C for her giving me massive attitude, (she is only 4 1/2 going on 25), I started to feel really, really stupid. The reason why??? Here is a fully grown adult...me..........cracking a tantrum at a 4 1/2 y o. She was probably thinking what the...... but anyway, I went into the kitchen after I realised what I had done and I stood in the adult naughty corner.... at the sink... and did the dishes :-)) he he he

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| March 2007 \| MadMel

Oh Dear.. Adults have Naughty Corners To!!!!

hehe i love that... but i have to do the dishes all the time even when im a GOOD girl!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| February 2007 \| raych

well meaning

I find it somewhat amusing that even though I know what i need to do with my toddler with his negative behaviour, I tend to resort to the yelling when i have no patience left, ie. when i've come home from work after a s*** day and I have one hell of a headache.

Goes to show that sometimes what we know to do sometimes is totally opposite to what we end up doing. Well written article. Thumbs up.

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