I agree, our home is nowehere near spotless and we are at the stage now that while we tidy up especially when we know people are visiting and we are more consistent at putting away as we finish things I will not pick up after E as a given.  But I still hold to that one piece of advice I was given when I was pregnant - the housework will still be there when she is 18 and leaving home to go to work/university/travel etc, and at least I will have enjoyed and remembered the special moments in between. 

18 years really isnt that long right?  and already after only 5 years she is responsible for a good degree of her own which frees me up for elsewhere in the house, yay!  It might even be less ... lol

Peace
EF.x

I think what you're saying is so true, and more mums and dads need to hear that advice. Kids are just kids. Be serious with them when they are old enough to be serious with you.

 Good attitude, kids are kids and need space to be creative and room to have accidents without someone hovering over. I think I would drive myself nuts getting my kids to pick up every little thing every minute of the day, but on the other hand a messy house can cause frustration too. So I guess a happy medium is good. 

Good advice and I totally understand where you're coming from....

Hi everyone, I have enjoyed reading all your comments, My children are grown-up ( 25 & 20 )  both are  liveing at home  and I am still unable to get my oldest to tidy up after him self. The youngest has gone the opposite way,  things are still in the boxes thay came in and every thing has it's special place. I'm still workning on where I may have slipped up?

If you can come to some kind of compromise batween tidy and lived in then I think it's a happy home.

Totally Agree there. I am a working mum and i always do a big clean up one or two days a week or at night. Children dont understand why you would rather be cleaning than watching them do something they have learnt.

I also notice a lot that people are getting children to partake in more than there share of cleaning,. Chores are fine as long as they are age appropraiate and perahps rewarded with something (not necessarliy money but maybe an outing or just your attention while they play, (nobody , not even ourselves do something without gettign something out of it).

Its time to ask yourself if what you are asking is understood and if the child is capable of doing it, Let kids be kids,

I was once given some great advice about keeping home...

"Your house should be clean enough to live in and messy enough to look lived in"

When I had children I made it my motto!

With thre boys my days still seem to be made up of mainly cleaning and tidying..however my home certainly does not like like something out of a Mr Sheen ad...And I'm proud of that...

I also believe if crumbs on the floor are the worst thing that can happen throughout the day...Then please give me that life...lol

Hurrah!! It is wonderful to see that I am not the only parent with this attitude!

My house too looks like a bomb has hit it! No it is not dirty or filthy it is just lived in! Even when I wasn't working full-time my priorities were spending time playing with Blake and enjoying our time together. The washing up could wait until he was in bed!

i agree 100% my house looks like a bomb has hit it when the kids get going on the morning and i sont care we play we laugh we have a ball and when they have their nap i tidy up and do what i have to do then we make a mess again when they get up, i teach them to help mumma pick the toys up and put them away, but i think that there is no such thing being a supermum, my kids think im the bst thing in the world and that is all that matters to me. Im all for having a tidy house the only mess we have is toys the bedrooms and kitchen etc are always clean

To all the mums that do have a spotless house and still have time for their kids- well done my hat is off to you

I see my kids once a fortnight, and although I am a full time uni student, I still put my kids first.  I do neglect some of the house work, but my children (aged 6 and 9) are old enough to clean up after themselves (to some extent).  I still try to maintain a clean and tidy house when they are with me, so that my attention is directed toward them.

I have a spotless house, not because I neglect my daughter but because I think you can have both.

My routine in the morning is get up get dressed have breakfast, go for a walk & a play at the park, when we get home I start my house work while Charli has some TV time, she watches ABC kids & while she is doing that I clean up.

She comes out to the washing line with me to hang out the washing & some mornings she will help me make the beds & vacuum the floors.

When I/ we are finished with the house work (most mornings by 9:30am - 10am)  we will go out side & play on the trampoline ect, them we come in for lunch & when we have had lunch we have some playtime inside, books, puzzles, blocks, ect

While she is playing with what ever she has chosen I will do the lunch dishes, then sit down with her & play.

We don't have a toy room anymore so all Charli's toys are in her bedroom so brings out what she wants to play with & puts it back when she is finished.

So I think you don't have to be pedantic about house work but you can have a spotless house & time for the kids at the same time if you get them involved with what your doing like you get involved in what their doing. 

I make an effort to keep our house clean & tidy. But sometimes you just have to let it go. I wrote an article touching on a few points you've mentioned in yours. I also was to have fond memories of spending quality time with my daughter, not stressing about the housework all the time. My Mum was predantic with housework and therefore missed several fun outings we'd go on as kids - Dad would take us to the beach while Mum stayed home and resigned herself to the housework. I vow never to be like that! *;-)

my house is clean but its not spotless, the front rooms where people would see when they visit is clean and tidy but the toy room looks like a atom bomb went through it but if i did clean it up it wouldnt be a toy room, kids would never be able to find anything if its spotless lols...

i think your advice was well written and down to a T thanks so much

I agree  the kids need me most and if that means no washing floors so be it... When our 2 where liitle i would do a little at night or i was making playdough for the next day ..From about 3 my daughter would love using the vac.dusting so we would make games out it ..My son we would play games to put his toys away like dancing to the wiggles to put toys away and see how many we could do  FUN FUN FUN  that is what it is all about.........

I'll admit to being a little... ok alot obsessive compulsive!!!!!!!!!! A messy house means a cranky mum. I can't help it. I work 40hrs a week and have two children aged 5 and 2. If I fall behind it means our whole weekend is gone as I need to find order again, ie ironing, folding washing, mopping etc etc before the new work/school week. My house is not immaculate but it is clean.

My girls can make a mess with their toys, that is fine but they must put it away when they are finished playing. They don't complain, and I am proud of them when we visit friends and they tidy up after they have finished playing. I have a friend who brings her chn ova and they absolutley trash my girls rooms. I mean broken toys, draws pulled out etc. Their mum never makes them tidy up and doesn't offer to help either. This I find rude and disrepectful! Chn need to learn to be responsible. At work I have heaps of chn that just flat refuse to clean up after themselves. They say "My mum cleans, not me!" and just simple, "No"  this then results in them missing out on privlages.  

I still spend all of my time with the kids when I'm not at work (my youngest goes to work with me). They help me do dishes and fold clothes. They find this fun. We will then do one of their activities, ie. board game, paint etc. I just wash as i go, when I cook. Fold as it dries. I only iron once a week and it normally only takes an hour if I do it every week although most of my cleaning is done when they sleep.It is possible to have both happy chn and a clean home. Having said that, I do have a cyclone house prob one week out of every four!

I just can't relax in a messy house. This has always been an issue with me, as a kid my room was always immaculate! It stood out too cause our house was always 'lived in!' Maybe that's why I'm like this hehehehe

When my boy was six months old we moved to a much nicer home and I became a Neat Freak ! Every little crumb, every little dust ball ... I was FRANTIC ! He is now a toddler and makes much bigger messes all the time ... after a while I have just come to the conclusion that if the floor isn't vacuumed every day that the world will not end ... I understand now that playing hide and seek within the house with my boy is much more fun than finding the "dust bunny" under the furniture ... And I realize that our quality time together is much more important than doing dishes ... As long as the environment is safe and tidy enough, spotlessness is not important ... Making my baby laugh and smile is so much more important than if the house is super squeaky sterile clean ... Some things, you should just let it go to a point ... and enjoy your little ones and the messes they make ... Thanks so much for your article !

I agree with you, very well put. I believe there is a difference between a house and home, A house is where everything has a place and there's no warmth, But a home is where there is love and laughter, clean but not spotless,and plenty of warmth and above all a home is where children can be children.

Regards Janice

I agree with you 200%! and well done for saying what's on your mind! most people i know would be shocked to hear it, let along say it! you are so right! let children be children and do the houswork later! When my son was a baby i've done most of my housework at night, and now that he's older and going to pre-school, and since i am working from home (Internet) i can allow myself to clean while my son is in pre-school. but even if i was working outside, i would still do the cleaning at night. Actually - I still do sometimes. and i think that's how it should be. and it doesn't mean i became a "slave" to my child. It means i put him first, his needs, and the fact that he is, mainly, a child. And i want him to enjoy it as long as he can, as long as i can - until he'll grow up and will have to start cleaning his own home...

Well done!

I couldn't agree more. That's why I generally tidy and do dishes well into the evening when the children are sleeping.

But also...10 minutes here and there throughout the day does  keep things tidy.

Nothing wrong with being in a house that actually looks lived in.... :)

Well Said . . .

Also there is a huge difference between a messy house and a dirty house.

A mess y house means happy kids . . . A dirty house means sick kids . .

I've got happy kids . ..

Cheers Kellz

i've been told (by people who don't have lil ones at home) that both can be achieved.....i pmsl and then they left....

with all the other cool things we could be doing with our kiddies y would we spend that time cleaning. infact y am i online, i could be playing with my bub and son :)'s for you....bye lol