Great article thanks for sharing.

I've read it too. Its useful :)

Check out the book Raising a Modern Day Knight.  It is an excellent guide to raising a gentleman in today's society!

Thank you for your article.  I'm very keen to teach my two boys to be gentlemen, but at 3 and 4, it's hard going at the moment.  I think I will keep an eye on this article over the next few years, as a cheat sheet. 

I am not sure I agree with you on one point, though.  I disagree that when a girl says no, that's the end of the argument.  I don't really understand why a girl should be allowed to rule the roost based on her whims.  I agree that a boy/man should be respectful and polite, and perhaps should be able to recognise when an issue is not important, and to concede.  But if he has a compelling argument in favour of something, I believe he should have the opportunity to present the argument.  If my son refuses to share with his sister, I insist that some resolution be found (unless it's one of the few special toys that they have).  If my daughter refused, I would insist on the same thing.

Ideally, a girl will be brought up in such a way that she is open to listen to other ideas, and be reasonable in negotiation, but that's not reality.  So should a boy be taught to hand over the final say in all situations to the nearest girl?  I ask my husband when I am going to do something important (usually something that will cost money), and he does the same for me.  We talk things through, and when we disagree, it's not always me that gets my way.  It's not all plain sailing, we fight sometimes, we sort it out, but I refuse to be a nagging or dictatorial wife.

Also, the "No means No" thing, referring to sex, I agree with completely.

I'm a mother to two little boys, and I also have a fiance that was raised to be respectful to women, sensitive, and caring. I am trying to raise my boys to be like their father. This a great article with great advice for any other women out there raising little boys.

Great advice! I have 2 boys and just gave birth to our first daughter 2 weeks ago.  I hope I am able to apply this advice to our family.  If it works on your son he will be an absolute darling when he is older.  My husband is like that even though he wasnt raised by lots of women - I guess his mum must have done something right! :)

I enjoyed your pleasent outlook on raising boys. I have 2, and 8yo and 2yo although our days are never a dull and full of outrageous surprises. However non can surpass the thought of raising  respectable gentlemen. Both of my boys like to do their hair, and clip their nails but they still love to get down & dirty, as my M.I.L encourages them to "Play in the dirt, they don't have to wash their hands they're boys!?"

Oldschool!  I say,it's the 20th century- Boys can still have their trucks, critters, and mud but enjoy being emotionally available, tidy, and respectable too!! It;

Being the mother of three amazing, beautiful boys, your article really hit home.  My boys are 8, 3 and 13 months.  My 8 year old is my "biggest" problem (??).  These are exactly the things I am trying to teach.  I cried tears of pride and joy while reading your article.  THANK YOU!!!

This is spectacular!  As the mother of two boys this would have to be on e of the most down to earth and sensible articles I have ever read.  Cogratulations you are doing a great job!!

 1 have 3 boys a 14 year old and two 3 year olds. Ever since My eldest boy was little i would tell him to hold the doors for people when you see them coming, say ma'am and sir, if a girl says no she means it, and don't hit. Nothing really came into effect with my eldest until his sister was born. If i caught him hitting her and he said she started it i would tell him i don't care, boys don't hit girls. since he was only 4 or so at the time he didn't understand, i would have to tell him it's polite and you'll understand when your older. than i began to tell him how boys are stronger than girls and if i girl hits you than you hit her back it might hurt more for her. he fully understood this. also when my eldest was little and he would hold the door for people i would praise him and on occasion buy him a candy bar for being so nice. now with the twins i'm treating them the same. they compete with each other to who can get to the door first and hold it for the other people. it's so cute. they prefer me saying "good job" rather than a candy bar. it also helps to see there older brother doing the things i'm trying to teach them, like holding the door, saying ma'am and sir etc...

I have 2 young boys - I have heard about a study that was done recently (in the last few years) about what happens to boys as small children if they are not allowed the freedom to explore their more femanine sides.  More often boys are much more emotional and attached to parental figures as young children than as a teenster.  And the study suggests that if boys are continually expected to be "tough", "not allowed to cry", "brush it off", "that's girlie", etc as preschoolers they can ultimately become much more emotionally detached as teenagers and young adults.

This being said my 2.5 yr old has his own pink stroller (best $20 I ever spent), his own dolls (Matilda gets washed in the bath EVERY night), loves my nailpolish and wants his toes to be painted too, is allowed the freedom to cry and understands that when someone is sad they may cry and is also taught that we do not under any circumstances treat things badly (toys, books, people, the dog....).  I guess I will have to wait to see how he turns out over the next 20 years.......lol!

Delightful advice.  As the mother of a son, I whole heartedly agree with all you've said.  My boy also presents me with flowers from the garden and still calls me Mama.  I cherish these small, special moments and thank God every day for the gift that is my son.

I love your article and think that it is a great way to raise a son. He is going to grow up to be a very sensitive and caring father and husband. I just want to clarify 2 things though:

1) does the "no" rule work for him as well? as in, if he doesn't want to share his toys or TV time with his sister, does no still carry the same weight for him as well? If this is not the case than I can see some serious issues arising with regards to fairness and equality.

2) the "no hitting girls" part is very important and I commend you for taking such a strong stand on it. However, is it the same for your daughter as well? do you enforce the "no hitting" rule with her?

3) Also, with regards to the "girls first you next" rule, how exactly do you mean this? one could interpret it as meaning "girls always come before you" which, again, could cause him to grow resentful of his sister and other girls and do the exact opposite of what you mean to do.

I know I am sounding like a nit-picking know-it-all, but those were just a few issues I wanted to iron out. Overall, I enjoyed your article and thought that it was a pleasure to read. You are a great mother :)

A positive peice of advice, I wish a lot more Moms had the fourthought to do this for their "little Angels"  My son was brought up with  his own doll ,firt one a rag doll he loved it literaly to peices. Mom and I brought him one of those real life babies when he was three, we got a girl one as we thought it would give us the oppertunity to talk about things later. He always had tea sets, Tupperwear, we still have the small breakfast bowls under flower pots. there was a pushchair to go with the doll.ect..  Yes he did go through that horrid puberty stage, smelly, rude ect, and I wondered where my wonderfull loving son had gone. But let me say he is now a wonderfull considerate young man and he and my daughter spend so much time in the bath room I've considered having a 'port-a-loo' put in the garden.

This is great, even though your son will go through moods with puberty, these lessons will be instilled in his brain. Once he reaches adulthood and his hormones level out, he will remember the important lessons you taught him as he was growing up. So don't fret about it now, just keep teaching him to be a gentleman.

thank you for writing this great advice and wonderful tips, as a mum of a boy this is going to come in handy, my brother was always one to play with the dolls and have tea parties, and i was the one that played with the cars and trucks, and then one day it all changed i played with the dolls and he played with the cars, but no today he would have to be one of the sweetist guys i know and when he has a gf omg does he pull out all the stops for her, sorry to go on, but this is great advice

hugs and kisses

this is great advice

cheers

emz

This is a good advise, which i agree with certain points. I try to teach my son the equality, because I believe in it and also to respect the other people not just girls, not to hit back anybody and tel them, who hit my son, not to do, to forgive the friends, who hurt him.

He bought last year a red rose for his girl friend, he was in love with. He is still taking care of her he says whatever she says is correct.

At this age they are all very lovely aren't they

Seb

I do this with my little man too even though he is only two it is never to young to teach them

 Lexi xxx

Fantastic advice! Althought I do agree with some of the others about the hitting - better to teach no hitting at all. As a mother of 2 young boys I am trying to make sure they will grow up respecting women, well respecting everyone, being able to stand up for themselves without violence, and being polite and generous. Luckily my husband is a very mild mannered man and has great respect for women so they will hopefull follow his lead. I am hoping that my boys grow up to be wonderful men & come to their mummy if they need a shoulder to cry on when that (or those!) woman breaks their beautiful hearts! lol

Teshia

Some good tips there - though my rule is "No hitting", rather than "don't hit girls".  I've also found that my boys just aren't interested in tea sets, lol, they prefer trains, dinosaurs & pirates!  hehehe

They also pick yellow weed flowers & give them to me.  It melts my heart.

That is so good what u r doing. I hope when my daughter grows up, she meets your boy. He sounds like he will be a true gentleman and a fine catch!

Great advice, being a amum of 2 boys i often worry how they will turn out. My mum bought me a copy of a book called raising boys and i tell you it is fantastic. It has some great advice in there.

I have a 3yo and a 1yo metrosexual these boys can't go out without their "product" in their hair and they even have to have deoderant on before they can leave the house LOL