This is the scenario...

You have always had great communication with your child...They come to you with everything and anything and you are soo cool with that...This is what you wanted right? Fantastic open communication with your teenager ...This is what you have worked so many years to get right?

Being open with your child is great and encouraging them to come to you with everything is good too...Even though you and your partner have discussed it...Or you, yourself have thought about what are you going to do when you child comes home and tells you they have had or are going to have sex ...What is your reaction?

I have always said that when I have kids I am going to be open to them having boyfriends and girlfriends  and when they tell me they have them I will let them stay over and discuss with them all the dangers and even let them share a bed... because I would rather them be doing it in my house than out where I don't know where they are and what they are doing...I was going to do it sooo different to my mum with how open I would be with my kids...

Well I was faced with this and the reaction I thought I would have and how prepared I was for the whole thing to happen went out the door...Don't worry he didn't see I was a nervous wreck Only I knew I was hehe ...Here was my baby, my 15 year old baby, standing in front of me telling me he was going to have sex...What was I supposed to do? I was soo full of emotions I did not want to say much except well I am glad you came to us...Thinking all the time in the back of my mind OMG he is too young, what if he gets a girl pregnant? What if he catches something? What if having sex screws his mind completely? Is he old enough to be doing this? How can I talk him out of this? How can I stop him?

Well no matter what, I couldn't stop him...I needed to discuss it with him and make sure this is what he also wanted to do and for the right reasons too...Boys need to be asked about this just as much as girls...He needed to tell us he wanted to do this for him and not because the girl involved wanted him to...

Next I needed to discuss with him the rules around a sexual relationship...There was the protection issues and then there was the rules...Letting my children share a bed with their boyfriends and girlfriends kind of went out the window...They could still stay over but only in different rooms...I know I said I would allow it and thought I would...But when it came to the crunch I couldn't do it  and that is okay to do that because we never know what we will do when faced with this sort of thing hey...I have younger kids that I do not want to get the wrong idea as boyfriends and girlfriends change so I put my foot down there...There was rules still kept in place about school and things like that too...Another thing we also spoke to him about the difference between a kids relationship and and adult relationship...This was something I wanted to put in my sons mind I wanted him to know the difference...

You can share your thoughts and views on teenage sex with your child but please understand and respect the fact that theirs could be different...

After all was said and done with my son I had a little cry on my own about the fact that my boy was now looking at life as a young man...He was taking a step into the adult world and about to face alot more things as he grew older...This is what growing up is all about isn't it.

When your teen comes to you about a subject like this try to not be judgemental...Try not to get upset and try to talk like an adult with them don't lecture them present them with the facts...If they have worked up enough courage to talk to you about it then be greatful they could...Alot of parents I know kids do not talk to them about this...Did you with your parents???

I don't think it will be any easier when it comes time for the rest of the kids to tell me something like this...What I do now know is that I do want them to...I would rather know where they are at and what they are doing than close my eyes and pretend its not happening...

Have a great day
Cheers
Angie