Who Wants to be Shouted At?

Thanks for writing such great advice. I'm a yeller, I try not to be ,buts it's very hard when you have asked for something to be done 100 times & still get ignored!  I loved everyones  trick for getting the bedroom tidy, I am going to try that tonight!

Great article, well done.

Well Said.

Angela

This is great I always try to remember but as you say some times it doesn't work and I feel so guelty. It is good refreshing. Thanks

Love Seb

This is beautifully written and I so need a lesson in it.  I come from a long line of yellers to the point that I am now a yeller. 

But I always make sure we have "good time" together each day as well.  I only yell when I have asked calmly lots of times before (e.g. for teeth to be cleaned or for them to get dressed or pick up toys.  Yes they are young but they can do all these things and have done all these things so many times themselves before, so I am not being unreasonable to ask them).

I remember as a child I got sick of being yelled at and always tried to the right thing.  What I hated was that I wasn't given many chances and was misunderstood many a time.  We weren't hugged a lot, we weren't played with a lot (meaning our parents didn't get down on the floor and play games with us).  All this is important.  But I also think that at some stage in life, someone will yell at them and it will upset them more if they haven't experienced it at some stage at home.  I still dont condone the practice but it is a normal reaction (however much we must learn to control our anger) and if pushed people yell.  It is unnatural to never yell.

i totally agree great advice

luv emz xx

i grow up with a father that only knew how to talk to his children by shouting and even tho we are both grown up now and have our own lives he still sometimes shouts at us

great advice sweetie i wish that i had that when i was growing up

do you listen when your partner ylls, or did you listen when your parents yelled at you. I try were possbile to calm the boys down enough to get down to their level and talk to them like an adult even if the eldest is only 4. If he does something wrong he is sent to a corner of the lounge (not his bedroom as I don't want it to be seen as a bad place to be) he sits there until he calms down (which is now becoming faster as he is learning the routine) and when he has calmed down I ask him to come sit with me and talk. I ask why he did why he did and why he thinks I made him sit in time out. 9/10 he has worked it out and either appoligises or we discuss it more with explination as to why these things happened.

It would be nice if it worked this easy all the time but what we must remember is when someone is yelling the are overwhelmed with emotion it is like they are in their own bubble and nothing matters unless its what they want. Let them vent and get it out before trying to tackle the issue.

I have used the bin trick o few times but have never actually thrown the items away instead I put them away for a month or so then bring them out when the kids have been extra well behaved. It works a treat they are so excited to have their favourite toys back nothing else matters and they are rewarded for behaving at the same time and it hasn't cost me anything but time.