Now who eva saud terrible 2's was wrong its terrible 3's. my three yr old draws on everything , breaks everything, yells, whinges and has tantrums.... I feel like she is my enemy as we r always fighting... Im trying to make her listen but she just stands there

and block what im saying out?????

help

I'm no expert but I'm having the same issues (see my blog).  So here are my most useful tips:

1) stay calm
2) give options when you can
3) when you can't give options, be clear and be firm
4) get down to their level
5) make eye contact
6) explain clearly what you require or what has upset you - eg not "be good" but "don't run in the car park as there are cars around"
7) listen to what they have to say about what caused their behaviour and encourage them to use words (no whining or hitting)
8) avoid things that will cause bad behaviour (if you can) - watch timings, plan your day and ensure time for play, wild activity and plenty of rest
9) brief them on what to expect - eg "today we are going to grandma's house.  While we are there I would like you to be gentle with Grandma's cat and not hit it!"
10) give them time to respond/take in what you are saying.  Don't tell them something and expect immediate action - count to 5 or 10, then respond accordingly.
11) give clear consequences and stick to them
12) pick your battles - decide what really matters and let the rest go.  What is a real safety issue, what is harmful behaviour to others and what is just annoying for you at the time?
13)  have consistent rules between you and your partner/family as to what is Ok and what is not.  Maybe sit down as a family and talk about them, or even write them up somewhere
14) make sure you have plenty of positive time - hugs, kisses and one-on-one attention
15) keep them well fed and rested
16) encourage good behaviour by rewarding it (with words, actions or maybe even bribery) - ask them what is suitable encouragement for them and you may be surprised at how easy it is
17) stay calm
18) give yourself plenty of time-out too!

Sometimes these work for me - sometimes they don't.  When they don't I give him time to let it all out, then sit with him and try to work it out.  Sometimes I could have done something differently, sometimes not.  It is all trial and error.  As I said this is something we still struggle with so I don't have all the answers but I hope that helps!