Helping your toddler listen (lol)

Do you try and talk to them but they wont listen or even look at you? Then this turns to yelling yet you still get no responce? Yet the mention of chocolate/lollies/special things and you have their 100% attention immediately?

Ok I personally know how ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING it is when they just wont listen! So im here to hopefully help out someone who is just at their whits ends with this behaviour.. . and personally I think its one of the worst.

Firstly I must say that a toddler is young. They need to be taught EVERYTHING. This includes listening. It's not something they just do. But how do you teach a toddler to listen? Well what most parents do is they will repeat themselves 5 times. Then yell a bit. Then start punishing. But this isnt the way. Your toddler will then think that they      dont need to listen till you get mad and start telling them they will go in the corner (or whatever method you use). Instead make them listen the first time. I will go into how to do this in a minute.

By ignoring you, your babe is getting attention. It may be negative but its attention all the same and we all know how much they love your attention. Being a good listener even at this young age is very important! They will get along better with people. They will learn things easier. They may not be able to listen as well as your older child but they still have and will improve the skills needed to be a good listener.

Here are some tips to help your toddler listen to you the FIRST time...

Get Down To Their Eye Level
This is the first and most important one. You dont want to be standing over them as this is intimidating. You dont want to be yelling at them from 2 rooms away as they just wont listen to it. By getting on the floor and looking them straight in the eye you know you have their attention and they will hear what you are saying.

Be clear
Tell them what you want to in simple words and a clear voice. Your toddler and any child infact will zone out and their mind will wander if you talk about things for too long. Its normal for this to happen as they dont have the attention span. Instead of "ok were going to get your stroller, then we will walk to the shop for milk and bread and you can finish watching that when we get back...." try "Were going to the shop now..." When you get back just put it back on. Also dont ask questions if you wont like the NO answer. Dont ask them if they want to put on their shoes. Tell them they have to.

Give warnings
Some people ask is it nessesary to give warnings? YES! You will need to tell them when there is going to be a change in activity. For example if its almost time for bed you need to tell them. "Time for bed in 5 minutes" and a couple of minutes later tell them again that its almost time to pack up. Then do it. If you just rip them away from what they are happily doing then they are not going to be happy resulting in tantrums and crying.

Following Through
They need to know you mean what you say. There is no point telling them to behave otherwise they wont be going out later when you know that no matter what you will have to take them. Never make threats or promises that you cant keep. I have done it and im sure most of us have. By following through with what we say they will learn that we are serious and what we say we mean. The follow through must be fast too. There is no point telling them to do something then when they dont leaving it 5 minutes till you deal with it. It must be dealt with straight away.

Set A Good Example
A child of ANY age will copy what they see. So set a good example. I walked away once from my ex and said "Im not listening to this" and guess what my then 2 year old said to me ... yup "me no listen to you" and walked off. This shocked me and it was then i realised what I had done had told him it was ok to not listen. Show them how to listen by listening to them and others around you. Remember at this age its all Monkey see Monkey do.

Give Shorter Tasks
I have mentioned this one before here
You need to give them short tasks. Instead of telling them to clean their room get them to do ONE thing at a time.
"pick up the books" when thats done then move onto the next thing "pick up the cars" This way they dont feel overwhelmed and know what to do.