My Friends child is sick...How I felt and How I feel now..

This is something I really want to write some advice on as I think it is time that this was out in the open now...See If I have learnt something in this time I have been on the earth it is that If I have felt some way about something then there is a pretty good chance that someone else has also felt the same or similar... As most of you are aware Blackwidowkate Deb and are are close friends...Been there with each other through thick and thin...Last year but something happened that kind of put a fair bit of unnecessary strain on our friendship...You see she had a baby...We had it all planned out how our younger ones would grow up together and be just as close as how our olders ones used to be before they became teens hehehe....

One day after Jalan was born this all changed...Jalan was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis...The first thoughts that ran through my mind were she is going to die...If me or any kids in my family give her a cold we will make her die...With this I cried as I knew Our friendship would change...(well I thought it would) I looked things up on the internet and found oh so many contradicting things...I talked to support groups on what I could do for her and also to my family doctor where I stood if my kids were sick...I thought we would never see each other again...

When we were all well and we saw Jalan I was sooo scared to hold her just in case she got sick and it was my fault...I was sooo scared to get attached as i was sooo scared of having to attend another childs funeral... I had been soo misinformed on the whole illness that I was a nervous wreck myself...I would joke around with Deb and act like I was okay with it all but she knew me and knew how I was feeling I think...

Anyway after some time Deb made me get close to her she handed her to me she had learnt alot obvioulsy about CF and knew the importance of me knowing too...She basically forced me to get to know her and be with her and her to spend time with me too...See Debs eldest kids and I have a good relationship and she wanted me to have that with Jalan also...

I look back now and think how wrong I was in being the way I was with Jalan now and I am kind of ashamed to admit it... I have an asthmatic child and people never treated her this way...She has just as much danger of having an attack and dieing as Jalan does...Yet that did not make people avoid her because people knew what asthma was....

My advice in all this is....If you have a friend whose child has an illness do not step back and treat that child different because of that illness...Most of the time you will find the parents do not want you to do that...Their child sick or not is still another person in their family...If you don't know alot then ask the parents be aware of what is and isn't a danger to them and be part of that childs life...Most parents who have a sick child want them to live as normal a life they can...

I look at Jalan now just the same as I look at the older kids...I know she has CF but unless she is sick you would never even know...I want to share her life and be known as Auntie Angie to her just as I am to Debs older kids and my fears of her illness is not her problem...

Hope this makes sense to other people...I am sure there is other people out there who have had thougths like this at sometime...

Just thought I would share a little I have learnt
Have a great day
Cheers
Angie